[deleted by user]

StereoFood · 2022-04-12T01:34:28+00:00

Just back off completely. She may hit you up again

cass2769 · 2022-04-12T03:42:36+00:00

Is it possible you got in your own way by reassuring her you didn’t want anything serious? If she was getting feelings for you and then you said that…it might have hurt her feelings.

RSNK10 · 2022-04-12T02:18:21+00:00

Ouch man been there. It’s just the nature of the beast though. Best to just let her initiate and move on.

jokertnt · 2022-04-12T05:16:35+00:00

Yo man, she found another guy. So better leave her and move on, better start searching new girl. Have same shit right now.

birdmanunited · 2022-04-12T00:23:16+00:00

yeah it's over bro. learn your lesson and don't be needy

PM_ME_FEMALE_ASS · 2022-04-12T08:51:03+00:00

What a few of the comments have already mentioned. She may actually have wanted something serious, but decided to stop sticking around and wait for you to initiate it. While she says one thing, she may want another. Not uncommon. Just rinse and repeat sir. Move on and find another

Hrishi_Nair · 2022-04-12T03:33:45+00:00

Most likely she found someone else on tinder that she might feel a little more attracted to…. But thats okay that is how tinder works in my opinion you keep working on yourself you’ll be much more happier. Cheers mate!

puaCurveBall · 2022-04-12T10:04:46+00:00

You're taking the wrong lesson from this. What killed you was a lack of communication.

She didn't know where you stood or what you were feeling, so she was relying on "hints and guesses" to make her decision. You never want to be in this situation.

Clearly, she didn't have good enough communication with you in order to tell you what was going on because she gave you excuses.

Good PUAs should have better communication on a one-night stand than you had seeing this girl for 6 weeks.

It's lose/lose. Not only are you stuck seeing a girl that you don't have good communication with, but it also goes south for absolutely any reason and you don't even know why. Hell, she might have actually made the decision BECAUSE of the poor communication itself.

Get out of this trap about thinking it's about "who has what feelings". You can have an adult relationship even if you want different things or feel differently as long as you communicate about it and don't make it weird.

nevertextgoodnight · 2022-04-12T02:23:54+00:00

You're doing well analyzing things. Pretty on track

I'd recommend you as a man not use any terms of endearment until you're exclusive. She can call you babe all she wants whenever she wants. You use her name or short version nick name. Unless during sex.

If a woman is calling you every night, you need to set a time limit. So I mean, of course you want to talk to her but only set aside ~30 min at most. Don't let it get out of control. I've done that, like 3 hour talks. Maybe ONCE, that is ok. But you need to reign that in. Save the romance for when you have her in person. You always be the one to end the call.

She initiates, you lead and end interactions. Especially while early dating. Later on, if you're in a relationship with her maybe you'll need to call or text her first for logistic reasons etc

And yeah, if she hits you up first 100% of the time then all of a sudden a day goes by. Give it longer than a day. Because then all of a sudden the dynamics flip in only 24 hrs and you've gone to pursuing her and she's pushing away. Usually girls will hit you up around 3 days and if it goes longer then contact her after a week but it's not the best sign, again, that's if she hits you up first typically.

I've made every mistake like that. I know EXACTLY how you're feeling. Give her that space, man. If she goes cold maybe you'll see her around town. So just keeping being your best self cause you never know if you'll run into her

But also, dude once you find another chick you like, this will seem so far in the past and you'll only be better for the experience

Accomplished-Lab5914 · 2022-04-12T03:56:58+00:00

Spare yourself the analysis paralysis. You never know what went wrong. You'll guess 100 things and never know. Unless she tells you. She may contact you again. She may have mit someone else. Whatever.

Some things are better left unanalyzed. Because you never know what happened. It's better to move on and find someone else. With women, you can never rely on them sticking around. But you can rely on you going out and winning more!

NoDatabase1552 · 2022-04-12T03:05:07+00:00

What sport?

isabellyyes · 2022-04-12T06:07:31+00:00

Yeah I agree with the comments saying you should stop analysing it. No two situations are the same because every person understands and treats relationships differently.

However I would look at this from a positive side: you now have space to keep growing and meet more people that may fit you better. Once you start feeling the feels, reassess the situation and decide how you want to proceed. The risk with never committing / confirming the feels is that this could happen, but on the flip side you could also spook the person. It all depends on the situation and your read of it! No one knows better than you!!

Sacha117 · 2022-04-12T06:45:21+00:00

It could be the opposite, she likes you and you tried to be aloof and it makes her think you’re a dick, pushes her away to someone else. Be cool but dont be inauthentic if you like her.

zitandspit99 · 2022-04-12T16:05:17+00:00

It's also possible she was never interested in anything serious and just found someone else she's infatuated with. I honestly wouldn't overthink it

tapsn5 · 2022-04-12T16:19:28+00:00

Why are you leading on this girl? Its your fault. And why are you following her flow? Aren't you supposed to to be the leader? You're doing bf/gf stuff with a fwb that's why if you wanted to be in a relationship with her tell and its your fault you're following her instead of being the leader. She prob just realized you're not the man in this

2022-04-12T23:33:39+00:00

If you don’t want a relationship, do not do things that people in a relationship would do. Casual dates, okay; anything past that (PDA, calling every night, calling each other babe, etc.) is setting you up for failure if you’re looking for solely a FWB. But just maybe, if you give her time, she may eventually come back around.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	63
Comments	21
Date	April 12, 2022 12:14 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u1lqcq/got_too_invested_in_a_fwb_relationship_pretty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1262308 https://theredarchive.com/post/1262308

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