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[–]CompetitionFair7686 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Because seduction isn’t about being better than others or proving your worth to the girl.
Seduction is about making her feel an emotional and sexual connection that makes her feel joy about spending time with you, and makes her feel sexual desire for you.
That’s what your focus should be on making her feel, not on impressing her or proving you are good enough, and to do that you need to be playful, joke around, tease her, roast her, mess with her, share hilarious anecdotes, flirt, make her feel desired, connect… etc
If she rejects you or whatever is because she is not connecting with you, you are not having the required chemistry it doesn’t mean that she is turning you down because you are not good enough because she doesn’t even know that, since you are a stranger.
You could be secretly rich, have a great career, and a successful business and she wouldn’t know when she rejects you because it’s the lack of chemistry and the connection was causing her to turn you down.
[–]daring_innovator 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’ve thought this before but this just confirms it!
[–]Nullroute127 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ask a friend for help. Have him tell you who to approach, and a few small conditions. This will help ease your mind on the outcome.
Just know that this likely won't result in the number, it's just practice to blunt the emotional response.
Ex. "Talk to the woman in the red shirt, tell her she looks like a tall glass of merlot" You're free to walk away having just followed orders, or continue if you feel like. But try to feel like it.
You have no expectation of what will happen. You're just a scientist who wants to see what will happen.
[–]Virtual_Sink4451 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Einstein: Smart people simplify things.
I have found a majority of the time the best cold approach has been with a smile and saying, "Hi, my name is Ryan." No cute lines, immediate compliments, nothing crazy off the bat. Unless there is something very specific or relatable to say, that has been highly effective.
That doesn't directly answer your question but whenever my thoughts complicate things, I focus on simplicity.
[–]greenwaffulz 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
First off, congrats on the approach, most guys don't even do that, to begin with. Also, does the place you daygame at have LOTS of women (similar to a night club)? If not, don't approach - even the top PUA instructors like RSD tyler don't wander around the day time looking for girls or even bother going to low density places.
Reason being, is you want to build MOMENTUM. If you approach one girl, it might be 20 mins before you see another and you'll be stuck in your head. You'll also give off desperate vibes. Contrast this to a bar or club in the night, where if you get rejected, you can simply walk 5 feet over and talk to the next girl. It's hard to replicate that amount of volume during the day time, hence why it's a struggle to get "warmed up".
Also some practical advice to get out of your head, is to start by making very small talk to each girl (or even guy) you see, I.e "nice shoes", "I like your dog, what breed is he or she?" , etc. what this does is that it tells your brain that its OK to talk to strangers. Then after a couple of these interactions you should feel pretty confident approaching that cute girl.
Back when I was 21, I used to cold approach on my college campus which had tons of cute 18-22 year old girls walking around. I'd do something like 15 approaches a day - at the school libraries, cafes, walking home from the gym, ANYWHERE. It's like a superpower. But again, if your day game spot has barely any women, I wouldn't bother as you'll be walking around for a while and you'll be stuck in your head!!
[–]miguetran3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I don't recommend day game for beginners. Lack of volume, you'll never get in state.
[–]futuristicbushman 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s beta
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]futuristicbushman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Brother, you wrote a book about this.. imagine how simple life would be if you just went after females that go after you.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Elegant_Weasel2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
anyone who uses the term "sigma male" unironically can be confidently dismissed lol. my advice is to have realistic goals. if you're just starting out, then just doing the basics should be seen as a success, whatever her reaction to you. Make the approach, square up your shoulders to her, smile, good eye contact, say your thing, then see where it goes. If you do all that then congrats, you did it. obviously you should still be open to getting a connection with her, that's what you want, but you should view it as a bonus.
if you're struggling with something to say on your open, "hi, I'm X. you looked interesting and I wanted to see what you were like" has served me well. in the long term it's good to adapt things like that to the specific girl you're talking to, but in the early stages it's good to already know the exact words to use on your approach. it removes a lot of the anxiety.
[–]daring_innovator 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
True. No do not confuse chasing (cold approach) with attracting someone into your proximity (vibing). My whole point is to learn cold approach first as a baseline skill. Ok now that you’re proficient enough at cold approaching let’s move it up and include vibing. Ok now combine what you’ve learned from cold approach with learning how to vibe with yourself. Now you’re gonna radiate a different energy around others.
Have you ever been around somebody that just makes you feel good just being around them but you just cant quite put your finger on it? But you can just feel their cool, calm, swagger energy about them? Yea, that. Now combine that with not giving a fuck if the girl needs you or not (indifference attitude) Boom. You’re a more magnetic person. Now tell me you don’t see more girls eyeing you/ coming closer to you for some apparent reason.
Anyway once you have the vibe down girls can sense your calm energy/secure energy so they come closer to you (Alpha vibes). She feels safe near you but it’s up to you now. You see?
“Yea… but how do I get the vibe thing!” “This is bullshit!” Whaaaa. Simple, you get it by being at peace with yourself and your life, chill zenlike energy.
Some women tell me: “Omg, I can feel your presence from here!”
This is an attitude/vibe thing.
If you have any questions lmk.
[–]daring_innovator -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea I get it. Betas are cool people I know some of them. I also know some gammas, alphas and deltas and we’re all cool. That doesn’t mean I consider myself alpha though. I exhibit sigma male traits and business mentality. I’d rather get my way and put myself first over supplicating my attention towards her beauty. If I give her my attention what do I get in return?
Yes, I believe if you like the girl you can approach her, by all means go for it if you want. I know that takes tremendous courage & I’ve gotten success from it. There is something to learn there, It’s just not my focus cuz Idgaf. I’d rather her come over to me and I’ll play along if I like her. Because if she likes me then she’s gotta put in the work to at least come closer to talk to me or she can fuck right off idc if she’s a 10 or a 6. I’m selfish like that because I do what’s right for me. I want to see the results not waste time. Girls don’t deserve my attention, they need to earn it. I turned the whole table around.
[–]daring_innovator 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hmm I see what you mean. Like the courageous go-getter guy that goes after what he wants?
[–]Proper-Rub6270 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are either model who is getting approached and acting like you are working hard for your 'vibe' when in reality its all your looks OR you are mental living in imaginary world. I keen to second option. 99 percent of guys have to approach girls to get anything. If we would sit and wait for girls to feel our 'vibe' we would die alone.
[–]epimpstyle 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
... and you have no gf even if you can approach girls in club! That's weird dude!
It looks like you are looking for a logical reason to approach someone but I don't know why as long as girls don't care about logical things (if you have an ultra-mega PC, they are not curious about it), they are emotional - if they are feeling good with you at that moment, you are a winner!
It is no need for a reason to approach them, it works everything, it doesn't matter how you approach them you can sing/scream/cough/sneeze/ wave with your hand... it doesn't matter... just do the first step and you will learn from your mistakes (or if you are lucky you will have a gf after 1-2 approaches, who knows?).
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[–]CompetitionFair7686 22 points23 points24 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]daring_innovator 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nullroute127 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Virtual_Sink4451 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]greenwaffulz 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]miguetran3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]futuristicbushman 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]futuristicbushman 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (9 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Elegant_Weasel2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]daring_innovator 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]daring_innovator -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]daring_innovator 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Proper-Rub6270 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]epimpstyle 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link