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merchant_of_mirrors · 2022-03-29T06:53:08+00:00

"in the moment" means he's not interested in doing the most for it. Doesn't mean he wouldn't be down to do it again. I bet if you just asked him to hang out like normal and then escalated he'd be all for it. If you flirt or maybe tease him with some over the clothes action, He'll get in the mood real quick lol. I think he just has mixed feelings about fooling around with a friend.

SpecialPowerss · 2022-03-29T06:50:34+00:00

Simply fall back and let him come to you if he wants to screw you again.

Don't come off as desperate for dick.

MaltaPepe · 2022-03-29T07:04:44+00:00

wear sexy clothes around him and act nice to him. thats all

lskerlkse · 2022-03-29T06:53:28+00:00

Don't Kimmie Gibbler the guy, just lose the weight of the idea and move on

rohankent · 2022-03-29T07:16:23+00:00

He’s more interested in someone more regularly? He’s stressed with casual hook ups? GREAT!!! Let him know how last time was for You. Tell him what he did that you really liked and maybe what more you’d like to explore “with someone”. Let him know your up for something more regular as you also are looking for the same things as him, but also not a relationship.

Communication is key. If he then keeps holding back, respect the boundary and do the friend thing and see what happens. But at least you’ll put the ideas into his head and you left nothing on the table.

Alert-Wishbone9032 · 2022-03-29T07:19:51+00:00

It kind of sounds like he’s sounding you out as to whether you’re even 1% interested in having an actual relationship with him.

He’s obviously attracted to you, you’re good friends, so already a lot of boxes are ticked.

He’s said that he’s not massively into casual sex but does like “relationship” sex.

So it really sounds more like he’s thinking that he doesn’t want to screw up a friendship, nor just be a easy lay until you find a bf, so now he’s backing off a bit to see how you respond.

If you prod him for casual sex then he’ll think that he’s just a new hobby until you find a bf.

If you go silent then he’ll think that you’re declaring it to be a mistake or something to be forgotten about.

If you want a relationship then you should speak with him, ideally in person, and gently field the idea that you think he’s great, you think your physical chemistry is great, and that you’d be very open/willing/happy to explore it with him in a more relationship way.

As you broach the subject like that you’ll be able to judge from his reactions as to whether you’re accepting something that he was secretly hoping for or whether it wasn’t what he was wanting.

If yes, then yay.

If no, then you can say that you gave the idea a try, it’s not going to happen, so then you can explore either the fuck-buddy side of things or just an agreement that the one time was nice but it’s not going to repeat itself.

ChiefPastaOfficer · 2022-03-29T07:21:54+00:00

I think your best bet would be to check out Matthew Hussey, a dating coach for women, or a community related to his work. I've only sporadically come across pieces of his seminars and feedback from his students/clients, but what little I've seen is the polar opposite of r/femaledatingadvice (i.e. non-toxic, and with common sense), and has good success rate.

incognito3107 · 2022-03-29T07:27:27+00:00

I guess his statement basically meant that he is not down to get into any FWB pact as he prefers to go for true relationship. It was a One Night Stand for him, that's what he has said anyway. It doesn't mean that a situation won't change, but as for now he is not eager for pushing your relation in any direction and you should not either. Sometimes it is the best to leave it just as it is.

h7hh77 · 2022-03-29T07:49:16+00:00

First off, just be available. Hang out with him, go to parties, etc. You can initiate by doing some light flirting, but not too much, you don't wanna come off as desperate. Mirror his energy, if he's showing signs, show them back. Just keep doing that and it will eventually happen. Oh, and take good care of yourself, look the best you can.

CloutComputing · 2022-03-29T07:06:28+00:00

Wow. I wish a girl would just wind up having sex with me. I'm 25 and have to go through "official dating channels" like apps that don't work in a futile attempt to lose my virginity.

My envy grows every day.

zertsetzung · 2022-03-29T07:09:23+00:00

"His response was basically that it was more of an in the moment thing for him and in the past, he messed around a lot and was more stressed out having casual sex than sex with someone he has a connection too."

Dang, talk about a natural lol! Playa just turned you down! That doesnt typically happen unless a guy has a lot of options (or the ability to create them).

Ok so heres what I think. This dude is in serious need of some humbling. He's feeling himself way too much.

See if you cant get him to chase you.

Go cold for awhile. Suddenly just stop texting. Hell, disappear. Test his ass and see if he's all bark and no bite, or if he is really about it.

I personally come from the school of thought that all PUAs, Seducers, and Naturals are complete tools until proven otherwise (meaning passing some shit tests and experiencing some serious heartbreak by a femme fatale that seduces them). And this is with being a seducer myself.

2022-03-29T07:00:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

myoldgamertag · 2022-03-29T07:56:52+00:00

Then again if you just want some, why not just tell him? He’s a dude, and if you guys already fucked he’s most likely down. Just put it out there, and don’t be weird when you see him after if he rejects you.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	30
Date	March 29, 2022 6:43 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tqtpd3/alright_guys_i_f24_need_your_help_seducing_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1263426 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263426

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