Is it bad to talk about sexual partners with a girl?

ramfield · 2022-02-04T16:57:00+00:00

If she’s already talking to you about that, you’re probably friendzoned. Only thing you can really do is counter with your own experiences or act uninterested.

RSNK10 · 2022-02-04T17:33:08+00:00

Yes. You should be focused on her when you’re with her. Makes you sound kinda insecure and will trigger alarms. What makes her think you won’t say the same stuff about her to the next girl?

waverunnr · 2022-02-04T18:28:23+00:00

Depends on your scenario. My ex used to love watching me bang other women.

Minute-Lie-2287 · 2022-02-04T19:04:10+00:00

Looks like you got some good advice.

If she's talking about this stuff , yeah, you're already in trouble or headed there if it's not someone you're comfy fwb with.

Anyway here's some canned stuff for someone you're not banging to illustrate a little of what you've already been told.

Seduction/relation subject;

Serious

" I don't know what to tell you, a guy either really likes you or doesn't really like you"

Teasing

" Idk but whatever he did worked on you, I need to be asking him for some pointers, what's his number?" ( Mindset at bottom)

Sex subject;

" I could teach you a lot.......but I'm a hands on kinda teacher, you know"

" I mean, if you really need the practice I guess I could help you, if I really have to"

Any subject; "What makes you think any advice I give wouldn't be...duh duh duh....sabotage"

That can be serious or extremely playful depending on nonverbal and whether you include the duh duh duh interlude.

If it's pretty general and it's sex or seduction, give her self seduction tips... Always "I like this" or "I like when that." Make sure these include things she doesn't do or does the opposite of.

Most of all give yourself the impression she just challenged you with someone you could beat so easily it's not a challenge....this is your type of not giving a fuck to employ here. You aren't bothered, you're about to blow her mind, she's dealing with an amateur, wait til you get ahold of her....damn I gotta be careful , I'll make this girl fall in love w me.

Get this headspace right and you'll find yourself half grinning and shaking your head like a kid is trying to seriously explain to you how to drive a car and she will wonder why the hell are you so confident.

neondream666 · 2022-02-04T18:57:44+00:00

Well stop talking about past experiences?? That’s generally a bad practice.

You can say you don’t want to talk about it but if youre the one who brought it up in the first place that’s on you.

pokemonpokemonmario · 2022-02-04T16:56:13+00:00

It depends on the context. If you haven't slept with the girl yet you can use it as an opportunity to flirt but if you're dating her then you need to set a boundary. Like say you know you're not exclusive buy you don't want to hear about her seeing other men.

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-02-04T18:23:56+00:00

I was with a woman, for a very short time, that did this at nauseum. The only thing I could surmise is she thought it was impressive. It got old really quick.

scorpio_lust · 2022-02-04T23:45:24+00:00

Regardless of whether you're in a polyamorous, non monogamous or whatever kind of relationship you should be present so I find this kind of poor form on her part. Also the other partners may not have consented to certain details of their sex life being shared either.

TrenHarder2022 · 2022-02-04T17:25:57+00:00

If it’s on date I generally avoid certain topics: religion, politics, past lovers, etc. When these topics do come up I try to steer the conversation away from it.

If the former did come up I might tell a really funny story about my worst date, and then ask about hers. The point is to create a relatable connection and then bring it back to us. I’ll mention how I’m glad I don’t have to deal with crazy girls anymore and I finally found found a cute normal one like her.

Throughout the date you should be escalating if you want to sleep with her. Flirt, lite touching, definitely a kiss if things are going well.

I give it 1-3 dates, if we haven’t slept with each other by then it’s time to move on. The entire time she should know your intentions: you want to sleep with her, only friends is not what you want.

Yunngjedi · 2022-02-04T20:09:19+00:00

Well it depends. If you guys are literally on a date and she mentions any other guy at all, chances are she’s still attached to that guy. Especially if the conversation gets sexual. I’d personally find it very disrespectful to have that convo on a date and would wrap things up quickly. If you guys are just talking as friends then most likely that’s how she sees you, just a friend. In which case, be happy you just gained a cute friend! But look for other options dating wise

BlinkinparkKrasus · 2022-02-04T21:39:04+00:00

"Friendzone" is what mass-media today have branded and been overselling to people for a little more than a decade now. If I remember correctly, the whole fad started on 9gag or another similar image-board. Back then, it was meant as a meme/joke, but it quickly gained traction, and soon enough people started using it as an excuse for not getting anywhere with a girl.

As a general idea, it does exist, but keep in mind this is a social construct, a product of the internet; if she herself is justifying the interaction not going anywhere by saying she "friendzoned" you, or giving you the "friends" talk, it more or less means you need to recalibrate your interactions with her. It took me years to understand this; if she agrees to go on a first/second date with me, it means she was initially attracted enough to me to at least give me a chance for us to get somewhere, and I fked it up somewhere along the way; Most girls aren't aware of the exact reason why, we just didn't "click" properly, something was off with our vibe, but because of the social construct she justifies it with the "friendzone". There have been cases of people "getting out of the friendzone", but naturally, it's even better if you never get there in the first place.

The one piece advice I will give you is not to take any interaction with her too seriously, don't expect too much and you won't be disappointed. If you're still in the "game stage" of your interactions (i.e. first couple dates), don't make your intentions with her completely known - most people buy a jigsaw puzzle to solve themselves, they won't buy a pre-solved one.

As for your "is it bad to talk about sexual partners" question... Well, it depends. The general rule of thumb is NEVER ask her about guys she's had sex with. NEVER show interest in those people. Period. I've had situations where my friends with benefits would casually invite me for drinks where I'd meet their exes, and I politely declined, and kept declining even as they kept bringing it up.

If she keeps bringing up people she's dated, find ways to change the focus of the conversation - don't bring up your own exes, this makes you come across as pathetic - as a general rule, there's no competing with gorgeous women over who's had more experience in the sack. If you HAVE to bring up your exes after she's talked about hers, or she asks you questions about people you've been with, throw her off by presenting your exes in a good way; it's counter-intuitive cause most people don't have anything nice to say about their exes. This is (sort of) the only time when it's acceptable, but tread this ground very carefully, she can and will call you out if she senses bullshit - especially if she senses you're droning on about a single ex for a while.

Think about it, you're not interested in hearing about her exes either. And if she's adamant on talking to you about them, might be time to ask yourself why she wanted to go out on a date in the first place? Is she really into you, or just seeking a bit of attention?

elvissayshi · 2022-02-04T17:16:18+00:00

Not if she is the partner.

MihaiRau · 2022-02-04T18:34:34+00:00

This is an opportunity my man. You could listen and take the opportunity to suggest how you'd do some sexy things differently and suggest to experiment with her.

michelle961 · 2022-02-04T18:59:51+00:00

Are you the one who started the conversation about other sex partners? Why would a girl want to suddenly bring up this topic?

almighty_nsa · 2022-02-04T22:54:27+00:00

Trust me, if she wanted you, she wouldnt even mention her husband if she had one.

FigureSuch2715 · 2022-02-07T04:26:34+00:00

Woman talk. Worse than men ...

Title	Is it bad to talk about sexual partners with a girl?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	25
Comments	39
Date	February 4, 2022 4:31 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/skhmr5/is_it_bad_to_talk_about_sexual_partners_with_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-bad-to-talk-about-sexual-partners-with-a.1267582 https://theredarchive.com/post/1267582

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