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[–]EducationalArmy9152 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I actually envy you. One sort of a breakup is the sloppy kind when you try stay together for ages then get sick of each other and never talk again, another is you mutually agree to break up and never talk again, another is you break up but keep talking and another is you keep talking and fucking… You kept this shit up for 3 months… you won bro
[–]Spinuchi 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Emotionally i havent.. I was and still am really into this one and it has drained me emotionally no matter how much i try to detach from the situation. As soon as I started letting go she comes back and i invest again only to still feel let down.
[–]EducationalArmy9152 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I mean if that’s the case it sounds like invariably you’re relationship has been closely tied to sex and you want something serious, and that’s cool a lot of guys on here may tell you otherwise… but maybe she has a valid point if the one time you didn’t have sex you got pissed off. I mean did you do much other than sex?
[–]Spinuchi 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
This is the first woman where literally everything is perfect in regards to our sexual chemistry, emotional chemistry, personalities etc. Originally I loved the sex but I genuinely fell in love with who she is as a person. It isnt the first time we didnt have sex. I think more then anything having sex with her again felt like we were moving foreward in the direction of getting back together.
After we started hooking up again she felt warmer when we talked, almost back to how it felt when we were in a relationship. I went out of state for a week on a vacation and during that time she kind of became cold again.. So that played into my feelings of getting turned down i think. I went over there with the midset that we were going to have sex again and I would be reassured of her interest. With her turning down the sex it makes me feel once again her interest has dipped.
I mean I stayed the night and we cuddled obviously. When we woke up she made breakfast and we laid on her couch having a good time hanging out and watching TV.
I also have past insecurities about being turned down for sex. My last real relationship before her my partner had no sex drive.. Always turned me down for sex and guulted me about wanting to have sex. When i got with this ex she wanted to have sex more then i did and it felt really good to have a partner who I felt wanted me in that way. This is the first time she denied me and I think my mind reverted back to being shot down by the one befor her and it spelled out her lack of interest.
[–]EducationalArmy9152 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
How many times per day or week did you have sex?
[–]Spinuchi 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
In the relationship.. Everytime we were together, about 5 times a week probably, and usually multiple times a day.
[–]EducationalArmy9152 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Dude I really don’t know what you’re so surprised about… you both out-fucked your relationship and you identified emotionally with it because the sex was great
[–]Spinuchi 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I could see that.. It was great while it lasted. Like I said indont mean by this post to make it seem like i only cared about the sex. I honestly love the time spent with her just laughing emjoying eachothers company as well.. I can say I definitely became addicted to the sex.. But didnt want our entire relationship to be based around it. Probably formed an unhealthy connection because of it
[–]EducationalArmy9152 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I mean guys here will probably call this beta or whatever but I don’t care you can pretty much tell her the truth exactly what you told me and say you wanna start again if that’s how you feel
[–]Spinuchi 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Man Idk I feels like seduction techniques are simultaneously objective and subjective at the same time.. Ive done things opposite of what im recommended on here and it has worked, and likewise have followed advise and it has worked.. IDK what to do anymore. I think at the end of the day she knows where I stand and how I feel, but she is on the fence/continously changing her mind..
I think moving forward with life and letting her make the moves is the only thing I can do at this point. Whenever I started pursuing her more is when i feels her pull away. And as i mentioned in another comment on this post. That makes me second guess if it is even worth it because I feel she is scared to lose me.. But once she has me she realizes she isnt as into it as she once was.
[–]eyesopen1111 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Your ex felt used instead of valued, and you hurt her feelings. Feeling used is a sexual inhibitor for most healthy women, while feeling valued makes most women want you more.
FWB does mean the two of you are friends, so you still need to care about her feelings. Where’s all the aggression coming from?
[–]Spinuchi 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If anything she was using me.. She kind of stru g me along after the breakup for weeks. It wasnt until I stopped contacting her that she hit me up one night to come over late one night which led to the first time we had sex since we broke up. After that i started contacting her how i used to and felt her pull away again. When i was with her today she called me babe and hunny etc. After she told me she didnt want to have sex I told her i wasnt using her for sex. And asked her what we were doing. She then told me she didnt want to jump back into a relationship and wanted to move slow. I asked her if that meant we were ok with dating other people and she said she isnt looking for anything at the moment, just wants to work on herself.. But also didnt say she was opposed to dating other people. She did say that she would be hurt if I found someone new but understood.
[+]cplus4 -9 points-8 points-7 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Yeah this dude is just looking for NSA. Nothing wrong with that, but fucker should have been up front about it. Of course he probably can’t pull it and so has to trick women into FWB but is so pathetic to follow through on the “friends” part. Lol!!!!
[–]Spinuchi 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Except you dont know your relationship.. I have still treated her like a friend. I honestly pathetically skimped for her after she broke up with me and.continued to chase after her. Stayed in contact with her frequently for weeks before we started hooking up again.
[+]cplus4 -16 points-15 points-14 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Lol, you don’t even know how hard you simp! You’re the epitome of pathetic! Can’t FWB, can’t even simp. No wonder she went after better dick. LOL!!!! Maybe one day you’ll find your confidence…
[–]Spinuchi 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Looked at your post history.. Your right i should follow in your footsteps and pay for her cell phone and living expenses like you do
[+]cplus4 -16 points-15 points-14 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol! Looking at my post history shows you’re as pathetic as I thought you were. 👍 good luck out there Chad!!!
Living rent free in your mind! Gotta love it!!!
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’d say you’re right that you’re living rent free in people’s heads....people go here for constructive feedback and you’re laughing in a dudes face for being in a complicated web of intimacy and sex. You’re annoying, and that will cause people to want to react to that. The downvotes suggest that if we weren’t on Reddit, you’d be demonstrating anti-social traits among your peers, which would lead to you not being high-value. He looked at your post to see if your crudeness and lack of poise was a reoccurring pattern or a once-off. Once he determined that you’re a scrub, he decided to call you out on it. I won’t respond to you beyond this post, but just know that you have some issue in your life right not. How big, how small, I don’t know. But right now, you’re being a loser
[–]-chosenjuan- 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve had something like this happen before. Don’t let her play with your emotions or feelings. I think it’s best to ignore her for a month or two at least for now. Just say you’re busy and have other things going on. They always come back. But set your standards and conditions if they do decide to back
[–]anurag_sosa_21 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah this one's the shit. Tell her that you're busy. Don't respond to her texts (if you get) very quickly. Soon she'll feel the urges. Then boom respond with "I aint gonna fuck you everytime you need" 😂.
[–]Mriconicdev 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would deuce out too. Who has time to just cuddle, be there for her emotionally, give her attention etc and you get nothing in return at all. Not even a handy.
[–]random-naija-guy 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Have you considered that the reason she doesn’t want to have sex with you is because she wants the relationship to be deeper than that? Maybe she wants to relate to you outside of a purely sexual context and wants to be with you emotionally and all that 🤷🏾♂️
[–]Spinuchi 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes, but i asked her after this situation yesterday where we stood.. And by the way the convo went it seemed she doesnt want that either. She said she didnt want to be in a relationship, that she wanted to move slow with me.. I asked id that meant we were dating other people and she replied "im not looking for anything right now, im working on myself"
[–]random-naija-guy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hmm… Well do you still have genuine feelings for her? Do you see a longer term relationship with her having a future outside of just sex? Do you think you’re compatible? Cause if you are then, at risk of coming off to her as kind of a pussy, you could put your cards on the table and say that you’re now genuinely interested in pursuing her romantically and getting to know her deeper. Could ask her what she means by working on herself and what that would mean about room for a relationship between the two of you in the future or after she’s worked in herself/resolved any issues she has (again I’d find out more specifically she’s working on to make sure it’s not something to out there, or that’s she’s actually working on something and not just saying that as a kinder way of saying “Im completely done with you”)
If the answer to those questions is no, just sleep with other women isn’t it? Sex might be better with other women, who knows. Don’t be too sentimental if you genuinely don’t see you and this woman as having the potential for anything more meaningful than casual sex.
This help?
[–]Spinuchi 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ya and thats the issue.. Our relationship we did have was amazing until the breakup.. I was blindsided by it.. It was simply me saying a certain situation made me unconfortable. It was our first issue we had in the relationship. And it ended there. I kept my head up high when she decided to end it and didnt beg her back and walked away. About a week after the fact she asked me to meetup and we talked and she agreed that she wouldve felt uncomfortable if the roles were reveresed and she wasnt mad at me for voicing my opinion on it. After that is when she kind of strung me along for a couple of weeks while i thought we were working at making everything ok.. She then began to become cold and sitant and pushed me away. The sex we started having brought me back in and i delt her opening up again..
This whole thing has been so confusing and akward for me emotionally.. I feel im way more emotionally invested then her at this part which is the opposite of how the relationship started.
When im with her if feel like this is the person i want to be with. Outside of the sex everything connects and feels so good. I felt with her this is the first person where even though we dont have much shared interests our goals, personalities everything else was on the same page. Like she was the yin to my yang.. And I still feel when we are together like that..
I feel like she is using me but isnt even aware of it.. Like she doesnt want to be with me for whatever reason but wont let me go. I feel like her saying she doesnt want a relationship and wants to work on herself is her way of stringing me along for her benefit so she still has fun with me, someone there for her etc. But the second she feels a new connection for someone I am gone.. The shitty thing about it is in kind of feel the same way.. I told her yesterday i agreed and felt the same way after that conversation because sometimes it is how i feel. Then i got home and realize i just want to share everything with her, think about her constantly, just want to be back..
This has been a long rant on my end.. But i think i really need to take control here.. I think im not going to teach out to her anymore. When she contacts me im going to tell her that after our conversation I thought about it and I dont want nor deserve a halfway relationship like what we have going on. I also dont want her too feel obligated to give me what I want because i know deep down she doesnt want nor deserve that either. That we both know that we need to let go and find what we had again with someone else, because it is apparent that it isnt going to return to our situation
[–]Febjuly 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You sound like a douche
[–]jayfoxpox 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just have an honest talks with her and forget the label "beta" or w.e . You're past the need to seduce maybe take a break and have no contact so you both can reflect. Focus on what will be best on the mental state of both parties. It's better then going on this path even though sex is good imo and risk turning it into something toxic. I was in a similar relationship where I was having the best sex of my life but did not love her and she loved me. It started off as Fwb to a serious relationship but I wasn't really sure if I loved her the same as she did with me because I couldn't imagine raising a child with her. She had too much baggage for my liking. The guilt was building up the longer I stayed with her. I broke her heart but I knew I didn't want to waste her time out of respect fast forward to 4 month after she found someone who is committed to her and is happy and I found a better match.
[–]yennybear888 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Clear power play and also possible shit test...the only move is to ask once and not ask again. Make her think about all the other women you’re fucking. Never ask twice
[–]wakawah 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ex to fwb usually doesn't last long. Act like it doesn't bother you and don't pursue sex with her. A girl I date on the side mentioned us just relaxing and not having sex when we hung out the other night. I said "okay cool", not 10 minutes after I showed up we were plowing.
[–]cplus4 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Dude, you’re so immature. FWB means “friends” not just fuck buddy. Be there for her and understand what FWB really means. GTFOOH with your shitty attitude and entitlement.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just say you don’t get pussy bruh.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What a cuck
[–]lildudefromXdastreet 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
This sub is filled with cucks these days
[–]AnAngelOfVengeance 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
she probably wants to get back together, thats why she said that
[–]Spinuchi 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Dont think this is the case.. She has become more avoidant and closed off since we began having sex again. Also today I talked to her about where we stand and she said she didnt want a relationship right now. But wants to move slow with me. I asked if that means we are going to be dating other people and she simply said that she isnt looking for anything right now. Is busy working on herself.. But I think we all know that if she meets someone she isnt going to avoid them. Will have sex with them given the opportunity. I just took that information as meaning i should continue to pursue other women.
[–]AnAngelOfVengeance 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
yeah you should. in my experience as soon as you get another girl that’s when she’ll come back around. It’s the female spidey sense
[–]Spinuchi 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Ya dude.. Except really learned my lesson this time.. This is my first expefience where an ex and I are back and fourth on the fence about one another. And its really hitting home that "if its not a fuck yes, then its a fuck no" or whatever that saying is.. I miss the emotions we had at the beginning before the breakup where i was her world, she showed me constantly how much she wanted to be with me etc. It has been such an akward month and her feelings are obviously so conflicted why would I want that when I have other women that will feel that fuck yes about me again.
[–]AnAngelOfVengeance 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don’t subscribe to the ‘if it’s not a fuck yes…’ thing. I’ve had lots of girls on the fence about me for a while. I mean, I committed far less to them and kept other girls in the rotation while they were deciding, but women are fickle… their mood changes often. Just gotta roll with it. I rarely write a girl off…there’s always a chance and always an open slot on my roster. They come around more than you think
[–]Spinuchi 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thats fair, I hear you.. I just feel like if it is changing this much then she enjoys the chase or idea of me more then anything.. Like ill just be setting myself up for failure again if I keep my hopes up with her coming around.
[–]WhoOrderedTheCodeZed 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The way you phrased that: "where i was her world," comes off as very one sided and more than a little narcissistic. A healthy relationship should work both ways where she's your world, too... And you also show HER how much you want to be with her... and not just with your dick.
Didnt mean to make it aound like this wasnt the case. She 100% was.. I mean if you read my other comments on thisbpost i still love this woman even though we havent been in a real relationship for the last month, and she has been toying with my heart.. Everyone who saw us commented how into eachother we were and how happy they were for us.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sex is the basic biological need for a man and the only thing a man expects from her woman. Most of the time women don't bring anything to the table and if she can't even give you your biological high, Move on man !
[–]b_a_d_r0b0t 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
You need to play the push and pull game, research push and pull relationships, by sounds of it she’s playing this game against you and it’s working
[–]LandscapeClear1630 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If she stops satisfying your needs you might need to consider ditching her all together mate.
Remember to always put yourself first.
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[–]EducationalArmy9152 18 points19 points20 points (10 children) | Copy Link
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[+]cplus4 -9 points-8 points-7 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Spinuchi 11 points12 points13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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