~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]Alex_butler 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yea don’t worry about texting so much, just invite her to hangout or do something and talk and feel the vibe then. If she agrees to hangout with you, she’s interested.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Alex_butler 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yea I mean I’m 21 and in college still too. A great tip is just minimize all communication over text or snap. Phones should just be used to schedule the next time you hangout with a person. When I came to college I was snapping girls in my dorm all the time and all this shit all week before we’d go to parties or whatever, but girls get bored of that. Nothing would ever happen. The moment I stop just snapping girls all day was the moment they actually started being interested in me. Now when I snap them, it means something and they’re more likely to respond quicker and enthusiastically. Just save talking to them for when you’re in person, use text and snap to schedule and that’s about it. It makes you appear a lot more interesting when you do hangout in person.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Alex_butler 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Which comment ? The top one? What about it? I mean I feel like most girls don’t play hard to get it’s more that they just have options so why are they gonna put in effort for you if you’re just talking to them through the phone giving them all the attention they want? (not saying you’re doing that cause idk, but just an example) I mean the question is really, what do you want with her? Do you want to date her? Do you want to just hook up? That’ll change how you approach it but I don’t really believe in holding yourself back anymore or pulling away or any of that bullshit. If want to be with her make your move to hangout with her sooner rather than later and if she says yes she’s interested if she doesn’t then move on. If she says, “oh I’m busy” or something and reschedules she likes you. If she doesn’t reschedule, try ask her the next week, if she rejects you again and says she’s busy and doesn’t offer a time when she’s available, she’s not interested.
What you do is not give a fuck and just be direct with what you want with her. It’s the abundance mindset and avoidance of oneitis. It’s fine if you want just one girl, but if you come off as desperate and like a pussy with her she’ll know. She’ll be like, “this guy clearly likes me why isn’t he asking me to hangout or why isn’t he making a move. If you want to hangout with her say it, if you want to kiss her or put your arm around her when you’re with her just do it (obviously if she expresses discomfort back off immediately) Girls like guys that are direct with what they want, that may involve you getting rejected sometimes but it’s being ok with being rejected that shows girls that you don’t care and you’re sure of yourself and have other options. Even if you don’t, what’s attractive is the thought that you do. Playing hard to get or anything like that will just make it not worth her time or effort unless you’ve really already got her obsessed with you. Most girls of value won’t be getting obsessed with you until you’ve really locked them down though.
Also just in general honesty goes a long way so just say anything u want to say to a girl and you’ll be surprised at the results you get. Shows you’re just you and you don’t give a fuck and if she wants to be with you then she’ll have to be ok with it. Obviously don’t be a dick, but don’t change your values for a girl either.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 49 points50 points51 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
There is no such thing as playing hard to get, as that suggests that she is interested in you but pretending she is not, that’s not the case.
Girls don’t pretend to not like you if they do.
If anything she just became less interested because she got bored, so now she is like whatever, maybe if i feel good i’ll go out with him and see what happens, but if i’m not feeling good then fuck it, there are more guys out there.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Girls respond to decisiveness. I've done the same thing as you before - you said the conversation was dry, you knew that, but because she kept it going, so did you. You were waiting for a good time to ask her out. You know it, and she knows it. But you didn't ask, or decisively steer the conversation that way, because engaging in a conversation that she was making the effort to sustain was safer. Not demonstrating decisiveness isn't neutral - it's demonstrating indecisiveness. There isn't a middle ground.
The buying temperature was high. Now it's not as high. Now you have to decide whether to try and raise the buying temperature - by that I mean raise her level of interest and engagement - or to just ask her out sooner rather than later. Those are your 2 options. The default - keeping the conversation going without increasing interest or asking her out, will make it increasingly less likely that she will agree to meet you as time goes on. Once the buying temperature peaks, it automatically continues to drop as time goes on.
From what you've said, at this point if you just ask her to meet, it's probably 50/50. Ideally you'd get her replying faster than she is currently, and then ask. But unless you're confident in knowing how to do that, I would probably just ask her out within the next 2 or 3 messages. You know a bit about her by now. Say something along the lines of 'my best friend/roommate/brother thinks that insert an opinion you know she'll disagree with, that she feels somewhat strongly about (dissing something she likes, praising something she hates)'. Nothing too deep. You want something she will respond to quickly, that's the only purpose (if you can think of something else she'll definitely reply to quickly, do that). After she responds, pretty much ignore her response, and say 'He made a strong argument, I'm not sure if I can disagree with him tbh'. After she responds to that, without any segway or reference to what you were just talking about, say 'I've just seen/heard about this cool bar/cafe/whatever (any place you'd reasonably think is interesting to go to, and the reason), do you want to meet me there for a drink, I'm free on *whatever day'. Wait for her to agree or counter offer a day when she's free.
[–]Beautifulgorgeousman 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Of course make the date happen. Or do you prefer to just Snapchat with her?
Send her a casual message like. "Hey, I thought it would be fun to meet up for a drink, What night are you free?"
Meet her and have fun.
[–]mark_deshark 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree, figure out logistics and make a date happen. Ask her what day she's free and figure out a chill date like lunch or something. Either she bites and it happens or she doesn't and you move on. Good luck OP.
[–]frecklie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes but you’ve somehow misplayed the situation a bit and you need to course correct. She’s lost some interest, perhaps because you were too overtly interested or she learned more about you and found some concerns.
You need to be non-needy, fun, and lock in a date - and make it a great one. Your worst enemy here is being overly concerned about whether she likes you or not. You have to basically let that go and avoid blowing your chance.
[–]Chemical_Bowler8637 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea she got bored that u didn’t hangout Asap so now she got bored & now u need to setup a Netflix & chill or date before she completey ghosts u
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I disagree. Some girls absolutely play hard to get sometimes (Ex. They’ve been played and being vulnerable makes them nervous, they’re not sure how much you like them, they want to come off as chill,ect). The biggest thing that matters is you asked her if she wanted to hang out and she said yes.
My advice would be to try and plan something asap.
Personally I don’t really like texting/snapping with someone a lot if we haven’t hung out at least a couple times first because you don’t really know what they’ll find funny or what their reaction to certain options will be. All stuff that’s super easy and quick to pick up on in person. So she might just want to hang out in person again and see if y’all vibe enough to want to keep talking. Since y’all only met the once at the party.
So I wouldn’t over think it at all! You’re good.
[–]ectbot 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hello! You have made the mistake of writing "ect" instead of "etc."
"Ect" is a common misspelling of "etc," an abbreviated form of the Latin phrase "et cetera." Other abbreviated forms are etc., &c., &c, and et cet. The Latin translates as "et" to "and" + "cetera" to "the rest;" a literal translation to "and the rest" is the easiest way to remember how to use the phrase.
Check out the wikipedia entry if you want to learn more.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Comments with a score less than zero will be automatically removed. If I commented on your post and you don't like it, reply with "!delete" and I will remove the post, regardless of score. Message me for bug reports.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is nor true, we do pretend not to like someone when we do. It depends on the situation of course, but we most certainly do do that.
[–]no_not_this 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Learn from this for next time. 1 she has tons of options If she’s decently attractive. 2 there’s probably 5-10 guys doing the exact same thing with you trying to play the text / snap game. Are you the best out of the 5-10 at texting? No, you are not so keep it to a minimum. You don’t want her to know your life storey before you meet. 3 let you intentions be known. I usually do this within the first 4 texts. It’s simple. “I’m super busy this week but Saturday I’m heading to ___ for some drinks come meet me at 7.”
[–]Mmm91for[🍰] 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
The correct answer is: this was a shit test that you failed miserably.
This is a common mistake men make with women. Women tend to back off after a little while. When they do this the correct move is not to make a big move but instead back off until she messages. This may take a week or 2 but they’ll come back.
Right now you displayed neediness which is unattractive to women.
Fear not there is a way to save yourself. All you have to do is flake on her last minute on the day you asked to hang out. You have to flake this the night before the link up, until then don’t msg her. Simply message “ I can’t hang out tomorrow, maybe some other time”. When she asks why just say you had other plans you forgot about.
If you don’t take this advice, she will 100% flake on you the day of the hang out.
If you do flake, she’s gonna be extremely interested again.
[–]longlivekingjoffrey 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m also a pretty nice guy
You know what happens to nice guys
I’ve never flaked on a girl in my life even for a real reason.
I’ve never flaked on a girl in my life
even for a real reason.
You need some self-respect.
I’m not sure I can bring myself to do it because I’ll feel like an asshole.
Why are you an ass hole for cancelling out on the last day? I'm not suggesting you to do it but would you consider her an ass hole if she flakes out?
Why do you say she’ll flake on me?
Why do you think she won't? If she doesn't good for you.
Like what was the point of her saying yes to going out if she didn’t want to?
Girls are wired differently. You just need to play the cards right, and even I'm not an expert on that.
[–]numotsu28 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Listen buddy, don't ever try to make logic out of women's behaviour. Once you make peace with this, you'll be able to figure out women more. Women don't work with logic. Almost all their decisions are illogical because they are mostly based on emotions they feel at an immediate moment. And yes, she's probably going to flake on you though she said yes. Don't bother trying to make logic out of it. You can't. It's illogical and that's how women operate. If it was logical then whomever that girl is definitely isn't a female.
[–]HammertonMili 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I used to be one those guys that will comment how pathetic it is for them when they blame it on the women but, he's right, buddy. Accepting this fact right here will clear your mind
[–]Algo2Pete 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're putting all your eggs in the basket. You're predicting the future with her before it happens. Best is to talk to her with no emotion as in friend zone. Ask her out with no fear on rejection. If she rejects, eh, who gives a shit, move on with your active life. You're not an asshole for flaking on her because of your busy schedule. They do this shit all the time. Dont put a pussy on the pedestal. If your spider sense tells you she's stringing you along, say adios. You have better things to do than to drool over someone who's playing with your feelings. When in doubt, always, always trust your spidey sense.
[–]Mmm91for[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She’ll flake because your being nice and available; two things women hate the most. We all know they like jack asses that put them last. She agreed to go out cuz she’s playing with you, even if she decides to should up it’s gonna be a miserable time, she’s gonna show no emotion.
You can’t be afraid to lose her; this mentality is what makes a women pussy dry faster than ever. You have to be indifferent with women no matter what the situation NEVER show too much emotion whether it’s rage, sorrow, or relief.
You’ll be surprised how much women will be attracted to you when you put yourself first.
[–]Aizoo-cha5 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the right response for your miserable dating skills. Do this and don’t be nice you will finish last
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sounds like she’s getting bored waiting for you to make a move. Ask her out now, or you’ll lose your place in line.
[–]TheyCallMeBigAndy 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It is all about push and pull. If you chase her too much, she can sense that and will run away. You should play it cool and don't expect anything.
Just leave her alone, don't text her or anything. If she wants you, she will text you some random stuff to reconnect.
[–]garrettcw18 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The medium is the message
[–]fall0ut 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't even need to read your paragraph to say she's not interested. If you have to ask, then she just isn't into you.
[–]eyesopen1111 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
SHE MET ANOTHER GUY WHILE YOU WERE DELAYING YOUR ADVANCE. Christ almighty, this is obvious and is the reason behind her change in behavior. Now, she's more stressed out when you contact her because she likes both you and the other guy, but he's left the more recent impression.
[–]bigbootynopussy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How is that not the best response?? Young guys always always read too much into stuff. Just plan a date and tell her when
[–]Big_Tony2 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're asking the question 'is she interested' she's probably not interested. When you know you know
[–]burncushlikewood 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Women have many options in the dating game, don't get so obsessed with one woman if she's interested then she'll show it, if she's not then it doesn't matter, you have to maintain an abundance mentality it will improve your reaction from women it'll get her hamster wheel turning, is this guy interested in me? Is he seeing other women? These are the type of mental questions you want her to be asking. The reason why she's going cold is cause there is a bunch of dudes texting her, go to the club with the boys and take your pick, do some day game approaches, just don't get hung up on one, there are plenty of fish in the sea as they say
[–]vigilanting 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Remember to a girl you are just a fish in the sea. Perhaps she was interested in you for a bit, but then got bored, maybe even met another dude she likes more. Perfectly normal explanation. Guys overestimate the real estate they own in a girl's head, quick snaps and flirty responses are often only signs of mild interest.
[–]m1rrari 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw
[–]Meteora_Sage 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Only skimmed this. The details don’t matter. Text less, be more busy, focus on your passions and purpose as a real man. Also, just make an explicit move on her.
If she says no or anything other than an explicit yes, then next her. Ask her to hang out, pick some casual thing. Coffee, etc. Or a walk in a park (idk if that’s casual but I love doing that).
[–]golden_elegante 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bro you need to be more straightforward with the girl in order to don't overthinking. Really take the chance to say her: "Hey I really interested in be more than your friend. If you think same we could try it". Even if she responds is negative you actually are winning. Why?. Because you will put some calm in your mind. It's all about to put the cards on the table and clear the situation.
Yes she’s interested. She said said yeah sure which means she’s interested and she’s gonna see you
[–]IGetBoredSometimes23 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're asking her on a date and she says yes, she's interested.
There could be a whole bunch of reasons why she isn't texting that have nothing to do with you. Maybe after a few days she ran out of things to talk about. Maybe she has social anxiety. Maybe she's just working a lot of hours. But if she still wants to date you, she's interested.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]Alex_butler 19 points20 points21 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Alex_butler 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Alex_butler 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 49 points50 points51 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Beautifulgorgeousman 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]mark_deshark 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]frecklie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Chemical_Bowler8637 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ectbot 9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_not_this 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mmm91for[🍰] 7 points8 points9 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]longlivekingjoffrey 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]numotsu28 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HammertonMili 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Algo2Pete 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mmm91for[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Aizoo-cha5 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheyCallMeBigAndy 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]garrettcw18 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fall0ut 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]eyesopen1111 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bigbootynopussy 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Big_Tony2 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]burncushlikewood 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]vigilanting 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]m1rrari 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Meteora_Sage 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]golden_elegante 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IGetBoredSometimes23 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link