[deleted by user]

Calamity__Bane · 2021-09-26T00:57:04+00:00

No worries man, you did a brave and valuable thing by facing your fears and trying something new. As time goes on, you'll figure out ways to mitigate these problems, but the most important step is to keep going out, keep analyzing your behavior, and change it to get the outcome you're looking for. Think "Ready, Fire, Aim". Good luck!

dobbs1997 · 2021-09-26T00:19:21+00:00

reality is that whether it’s during the day or night, on the sidewalk or at a bar/club, you’re gonna get some weird looks from chicks you approach from time to time, it is what it is, you can’t prevent that & it doesn’t mean anything about you or that you’re a creep for just going up to say hi, i mean as long as you didn’t say or do anything creepy..but i’ve gone up to chicks on some casual shit & i’ve still gotten weird looks, all that means is that she’s not into talking with you and you should just move on, forget about it and do it again and again and again. because one girl can give you the weirdest look ever, but then the next chick you talk to could end up being really into you. that’s why you do it over & over & don’t let some weird reactions phase you.

KingoftheNorth412 · 2021-09-26T00:22:28+00:00

Nice job man. Whether you realize it or not, you put yourself in an extremely uncomfortable situation. You will grow from this experience and none of these people you will A) see again or B) if you do they won’t remember. I see this as a win. The more you grow the better and more confident you will be.

5_7pickup · 2021-09-26T02:49:36+00:00

Bro you should try introducing yourself first.

I do solo club game. Refer to my field reports for more info.

jankybusinessman · 2021-09-26T01:08:03+00:00

Find either the bar or the bathroom when you first walk in OP. If you don’t drink get cranberry juice. Lean against bar check scene, try to capitalize on small opportunistic things like for example a drunk guy raging through crowd making a scene. Cute girl and you both saw it, lean into her ( not creepy close) and make a joke about it. Quick laugh quick ice breaker and you just got a single! Lol baseball analogy, enjoy yourself major props I was scared to solo when I was younger but it’s very fun and you don’t have to babysit. The worst thing was seeing something wild or having a memorable time and no one to experience it with but those can just be your personal memories.

HeavenPiercingMan · 2021-09-26T06:01:02+00:00

If you get that disapproving patronizing rejecting look when things are going nowhere, turn it around and act first before it gets too awkward. Instead of going all "ok... i'm sorry..." and backing off all defeated, you leave because you don't like that, and make it evident you're rejecting her because of it. You gotta put yourself first: Don't focus on being liked or "measuring up" to whatever standards she has and you can't know, focus on whether you like her/the exchange or not. They pull this shit on us all the time, flip it around.

That way, you cover your ass in the unlikely case someone noticed the event, prevents you from getting self conscious over approaching another girl in the same place, and gives off the feeling that you are in control and don't give a shit.

I learned this the hard way.

Odd-Opening-3158 · 2021-09-26T12:27:49+00:00

I read your story and actually thought it was a bit creepy. Look, if you were checking her out whilst she was talking to other guys, alternating between talking to her friends and talking to guys, and then making out with some guys and then back chatting to her friends, it wasn't a 5 minute "checking her out". You were probably staring for a while and her group noticed. They might have commented in their group and thought you were weird and it was creeping them out. By the time you started dancing with them, they were already turned off. You probably didn't mean it but it came off that way.

I say this a lot but I don't think men get it; go for the hottest chick, don't expect the hottest one to be the nicest one! Good looks don't always translate to being nice.

Let it go, learn from it and try again another time. Sometimes it just doesn't work.

prince_of_brosia · 2021-09-26T12:57:03+00:00

It’s good. You’ve learned from the experience. You showed more confidence than 90% of the guys out there. Remember to keep acting confidently even if you get turned down

MyCityGameQuestions · 2021-09-26T13:47:10+00:00

Dude I went out for the first time alone last night as well; also same age as you. I'm in the same boat of being hyped that I actually did it cause 99% of guys would never even try.

I'm a 8-9/10 at my peak. Closer to a 6-7/10 now cause of covid weight. I go for girls who I'm not interested in, way below my league, just cause I'm there to dance and have fun. Some of the more attractive girls have an insane ego, and this makes dancing near them a higher chance of feeling creepy.

I will say I'm sober. I think if you're a bit tipsy most people won't see you as creepy, just drunk. I don't recommend doing this though cause you're using a crutch. I've heard that eye contact is the best way to approach. I often danced by a girl for half a minute and then asked a simple question. If she blows me off or doesn't respond I just tend to move to another part of the floor cause it's not worth it.

Also at the end of the day who cares. Just respect people's personal space. If they think you're a creep, who gives a f about what they think. You went out to grow as a person, so building confidence by not giving a f will happen naturally.

MyCityGameQuestions · 2021-09-26T08:09:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AerieIll3707 · 2021-09-26T00:26:34+00:00

What you should have done is completely ignored that look and kept dancing for a bit. She gave you that look because she's testing you, and you failed

Entire-Part1066 · 2021-09-26T20:09:38+00:00

The more you get that look the better, it builds character. Think of it this way, when you are unfit, running 2k's is difficult, but if you run 2k's everyday at some point it will become easy. The same with any sort of social awkwardness, judgment or rejection, at some point you are going to just be numb to it. So welcome it, welcome rejection.

Electronic_News_8247 · 2021-09-27T09:35:57+00:00

Rule #1 don’t be a creep. Try a bar next time & settle in by talking to people. Other guys at the bar, bartender, etc. Let people approach you dude. It takes time though.

DAB999 · 2021-11-13T09:14:52+00:00

The problem wasn't that you went out alone IMO, but your game, it was how you behaved. What if went to the club with a bunch of friends and you approached the girl just by yourself?

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	32
Comments	17
Date	September 26, 2021 12:04 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pvilbj/i_went_out_alone_for_the_first_time_and_came_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1275536 https://theredarchive.com/post/1275536

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