[deleted by user]

loofyd · 2021-05-25T13:03:11+00:00

The advice of meeting women out means to practice talking to them. Public speaking doesn’t come by reading books, it comes by actually talking to people. Machines aren’t built only through studying. People learn to make and fix machines through actual practice and implementation. People don’t learn to drive cars by watching youtube videos or reading books, they learn by driving an actual car.

The advice here in Reddit isn’t shit. It’s advice to practice asking women out to get rid of that fear of women. It’s practice to smoothen the tongues of those whose tongues get twisted when in front of the girl they like. It’s to get used to being rejected that one can finally look rejection in the face without flinching.

Building oneself up is good advice, but so is practice. You can be the most accomplished dude in the world, but that still doesn’t mean you won’t get rejected. There will always be that girl that just won’t like you. Many men in this subreddit seem to be reeling from rejection or the fear from it, hence they need experience to get used enough to receive it without batting an eye. Cold approaches come with a lack of emotional investment. Hence, the less emotional pain the initiator will be receiving for a failed approach.

I think you’re misunderstanding the advice given here. It isn’t about getting as many girls as possible to get a quick relationship. It’s about building up the experience and confidence to finally be able to make a meaningful approach. It’s not about the end result but the journey.

In a sense, the advice here in this subreddit is actually similar to your advice: it’s about building oneself up through experience. Read about those that post their field reports here, these guys aren’t becoming more insecure over the fact that they they’re lonely. In fact, they’re slowly becoming more confident. They actually lose their insecurities of bumbling or making a fool of themselves in front of a girl. They learn to keep their heads up even if they’re rejected. They gradually learn to see women as normal human beings that they can hold normal conversations with. By opening their eyes to the number of women they can talk to, they stop idealising the girls that they’re into.

jumpinsnakes · 2021-05-25T12:46:26+00:00

So seriously good luck on your hobbies they're important. But the vast majority of women expect men to approach hands down.

What you need to be doing is becoming completely comfortable being social with strangers in all social situations. Cold approaching is fine but you need to be in socially warm places like park, bar, festival, markets and then approach women who are showing they are at least amenable to socialize. If a you are a girl's type and can hold a conversation and get to know her, asking for her number is second nature.

It is a numbers game because what percentage of women you are attracted to are actually into you, or are neutral and can be charmed into liking you? I'll be generous and say 20% ie 10% are into you and 10% are neutral.

Since women only rarely make it obvious they are into you, you have to take the risk of rejection to strike up a conversation with a socially warm woman and see if she is into you or could be charmed into liking you.

Or you could just hope for serendipity which greatly reduces your chance of meeting a woman where the mental and physical attraction is mutual.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-05-25T16:02:14+00:00

I don’t assume “cold approaching” or asking her out as chasing. I’m just going up to someone to start a convo. Chasing would be like pursing after getting turn down or being left on read for days and keep texting, now that I don’t co-sign at all.

If a girl likes you makes it easy as fuck.

RareRaf999 · 2021-05-25T11:49:27+00:00

I appreciate the perspective. You get more bees cultivating honey than just trying to capture them on their own one by one.

2021-05-25T15:40:40+00:00

till now i was focusing on myself or rather i was happy with my life and never dated anyone even tho few girls were hard crushing on me but i was not interested in them also never chansed anyone (not a single Girl) because i used to think that it should happen organically but now i regret not trying becouse i am grown ass man and never had any experience with a girl. If i have tried then definitely i have gained some experience. So I think it should be balanced becouse everything is important in life so Focus on your self but also try to put your self out and try- fail and gain some experience. Aslo its definitely number game becouse even if you are brad pitt there might some girls who don't like you so with number you can learn more suff and meet girls who are into you

Alive-Doughnut2345 · 2021-05-25T17:57:19+00:00

This post is everything... I need a career and a life. Not a woman.

g1096 · 2021-05-27T03:00:32+00:00

Working on your game is part of working on yourself IMO.

Just because you go out and approach women doesn't mean you prioritise it.

It means it's part of your life you want to improve, not that you put it above everything else.

Work on yourself, and part of that means working on your game.

Where's the sense in working on yourself, career, hobbies, passions etc. if when faced with an attractive girl you become a quivering bumbling mess because you never spend time practising that skill?

It's like doing MMA and never training jiu jitsu- sooner or later your gonna end up on the ground, and when that happens, you'll wish you trained jits.

bman0920 · 2021-05-25T19:34:49+00:00

Man I’ve been prioritizing myself for the past 10 years…shits gotten me nowhere

StarRevoir · 2021-05-25T17:08:57+00:00

You're all virgins on that subreddit, right?

Just stop thinking and let things unfold naturally. If she likes you, you'll see it.

Nervous-Abroad4422 · 2021-05-27T12:58:33+00:00

I swear y’all just type shit for the fuck of it, hot men get all the attention from women so women put themselves around hot men so they will see if they click. If you’re ugly, learning the piano isn’t gonna help you.

I stopped chasing women for 10 years and not a single woman gave a fuck lol

Ashido_Komaki · 2021-05-25T18:40:54+00:00

We have to bust our asses to get what we want in life. If I want to look like my fit actor or celebrity guess what imma have to work hard to do it.

icuredumb · 2021-05-26T02:44:08+00:00

Bro, I needed to read this today. You're so right!

fvckCrosshairs · 2021-05-26T05:09:14+00:00

Numbers game doesn't mean "chasing" all the time, it translates to knowing how to and when to move on from a girl, keep trying until finding the ones that stick. Agree with everything else though

Dakessian · 2021-05-26T13:26:30+00:00

Choosing signals, if a girl gives you choosing signals it’s normal to approach her.

ThrowRA-bonsai · 2021-05-28T02:05:59+00:00

Finding a partner should be secondary to your main life.

I dunno man. You are effectively rejecting your hard-wired natural purpose by taking this stance.

"Find food and fuck." That is literally all your brain is concerned with. There is no escaping it. Every living animal on the planet is motivated by the imperative to mate.

I do, however, agree that you shouldn't bother chasing women. Chemistry is the only thing that really matters. If a woman wants to be near you, you will never have to chase her. If she doesn't want to be near you, you are barking up the wrong tree. The goal is to identify chemistry and leverage it, not create chemistry out of thin air.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	60
Comments	27
Date	May 25, 2021 7:02 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/nkji2o/stop_chasing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1283838 https://theredarchive.com/post/1283838

Comments