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[–]Catfoxdogbro 18 points19 points20 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Props for overcoming your confidence issues, man!
I can kind of understand how she would be surprised and uncomfortable in the car, she might have felt like it escalated quickly on your part. There are way more subtle and sexy moves to ease into it rather than just whipping it out. You could give her a bit more control over how quickly things progress, like leading her hand to where you want her to touch, helping HER undo your zipper.
Just my two cents, but seduction doesn't end once a girl agrees to have sex with you.
[–]RPSigmaStigma 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
she might have felt like it escalated quickly on your part.
vs
She asks if I want to have sex. she puts the condom on and puts me inside her. she told me to choke her
She asks if I want to have sex.
she puts the condom on and puts me inside her.
she told me to choke her
Yeah, he's the one moving too fast....
[–]Catfoxdogbro 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was making an experienced guess about what she might have felt based on what OP has told us about his actions and her reactions, not saying that OP moved faster than she did.
If OP wants to get better at understanding girls (especially in sexual situations), then this kind of thing is helpful for him to think about.
On a side note, why do those second two things matter? All she'd done by the point OP unzipped himself was ask if he wanted sex. That is the moment we're talking about here. Re-read OP's post, he sets out the order of things pretty clearly.
[–]barbarichawk 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Well the first time is always the hardest. After that it becomes easy
[–]jofwnc3 points 10 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
look, what this guy had was a luck draw. the girl met him because she thoguht he was a hot guy and she wanted to fuck him. he "went with theflow" and that more often than not works out in this scenario.
the point here though is that this isnt an example to learn from. the better pua material is stufff that gets you lasting romantic connections, instead of playing a tinder "numbers game" like what happened here
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He had issues and overcame them. Nothing wrong with that. It's only a numbers game if he is screening for instant DTF. Getting a girl to fuck in the car on the first date is not the easiest pull.
Nice job! Good to get some posts that aren't inundated with jargon. People have been having sex for as long as they have existed. Sometimes you just have to get out of your own way. You have plenty of time to learn how to seduce.
[–]CheeseburgerSocks 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It doesn't necessarily become easy after the first time, especially in the context of sex and dating. It's just the precedent has been set for the individual so they know it's possible Like anything, it takes thousands of hours before something becomes less hard. Easy though, like it seems effortless, it another level altogether.
The first time is the hardest I agree and hopefully it starts a positive feedback loop which only happens if the person continues trying. Otherwise tons of people get lucky and never succeed further.
[–]Locupleto 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Calm down buddy, you are high on getting leid but you are no jedi. Even a broken watch is right twice a day.
Did you get her off? Sounds like you did not. You need to work on that.
And that Cheezy stuff? Well tell me if you don't dig girls cheese - girly girl looks and acts. Don't write "cheese" off. Girls often dig certain things. Just recognize there is always room for improvement.
[–]ThatSpecialPlace 13 points14 points15 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Even a broken watch is right twice a day.
thinks about it for a second
nod of approval
[–]Dole_Bludger 13 points14 points15 points 10 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
She sounds pretty nuts, I wouldn't be too worried about her freaking out about you unzipping your pants or her leaving straight after haha that's just weird.
[–]Catfoxdogbro 16 points17 points18 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I'm absolutely awful at reading girls and picking up on their signals. I don't know if that was a "shit test" or genuinely a fuck up on my part. I don't exactly know what happened, I was too high to know why she was upset. I know I fucked up several times and made mistakes and embarrassed myself
I'm absolutely awful at reading girls and picking up on their signals.
I don't know if that was a "shit test" or genuinely a fuck up on my part.
I don't exactly know what happened, I was too high to know why she was upset.
I know I fucked up several times and made mistakes and embarrassed myself
Seems much more likely that OP made some wrong moves and is just oblivious as to what he did to make her flip out and become upset.
Dismissing the girl as 'nuts' and 'weird' is an easy cop-out from trying to improve. If OP wants to get better at reading girls, he should start by trying to work out why she reacted like she did and actually learn something from the experience so that next time isn't so embarrassing.
[–]RPSigmaStigma 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Yes and no. Yes, in that this isn't exactly abnormal. No, in that just because it's not abnormal doesn't mean it's reasonable. A mature, emotionally well adjusted person would communicate their feelings like an adult instead of pouting and fleeing without explanation.
[–]Catfoxdogbro 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Good point. However, I think you're making an unfair judgment of her handling of the situation considering this was a one-night stand with a guy she just met. Put yourself in her shoes.
You've had a one night stand, the guy 'fucked up' and 'made mistakes' (OP's own words), you're upset enough to want to leave and walk home by yourself, are you really about to lecture this guy WHO YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW about what he did wrong?
It's a difficult situation, how can you make such brutal judgments as saying she's immature and not emotionally well-adjusted -- especially based off a one-sided story?
[–]RPSigmaStigma 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Flip the genders and think about it. Imagine a woman posting this story about a man.
Also, sure it's a one-sided story, but I've had similar experiences. Girl seems really in to it, has hot, kinky sex with me, then just gets all weird out of nowhere and leaves for no apparent reason. Obviously we have no idea why she got upset, she might have a very good reason, but there's a reason why so many men are befuddled and frustrated with women who act on seemingly mysterious, uncommunicated emotional reactions. A lot of women are woefully inept at communicating their boundaries and feelings.
[–]Catfoxdogbro -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Oh good, we agree that based on OP's post we have no idea about her reasons for becoming upset and leaving, so logically now you understand why making harsh judgments about her character based on OP's story is unfair.
However I understand that it would have been easy for you to make a judgment like that seeing as you have an anecdotal idea about women's emotional and communicative abilities which has made you resentful. You should work on that.
[–]RPSigmaStigma -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Notice I didn't say "all" or even "most", but "a lot". We could dispute the prevalence of this problem, but I doubt you would deny that it is true in at least some cases. Obviously neither of us can project our experiences universally, but to brush my experiences off as if they don't count or are skewed is a bit hasty, don't you think?
However I understand that it would have been easy for you to make a judgment like that seeing as you have an anecdotal idea about men's emotional experiences and perspectives which has made you dismissive and combative toward men who's perspectives you don't share. You should work on that.
[–]Catfoxdogbro -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I haven't made any generalisations about men's emotional experiences and perspectives. I'm being dismissive and combative against your perspective. You're the one who is making claims about an entire gender.
And no, I don't deny that women are emotional and uncommunicative in some cases. In the same way that all humans can be emotional and uncommunicative.
[–]RPSigmaStigma -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're the one who is making claims about an entire gender.
What?
You see, the only way I can imagine where you even got that idea, despite the fact that I said nothing of the sort, and even explicitly clarified that that's not what I said, is that you've lumped me in to some stereotype of "bitter men" or something.
[–]came_on_my_own_face 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I wouldn't be surprised. Nothing he claims to have done is classy at all.
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe you can suggest some ways to be classy instead of just putting someone down who doesn't have experience?
[–]onathevicious 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sex with crazy chicks is the best sex.
[–]RPSigmaStigma 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's all fun and games until someone gets accused of rape...
[–]Contrebis 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Honestly if you think it's already done, why not just text her and ask why she left? Might not be the best advice but atleast you will know for the next girl you encounter!
[–]ThatSpecialPlace 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For real, OP could do it for the humor, seeing as he doesn't have any plans on seeing her again.
[–]fco1811 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
HAHAHA, beast man, congratulations on overcoming your confidence issues, a big fucking high five from LA.
[–]the_mk 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well you didn't have to deal with her after you got laid, haha. Good job bro, keep it up and make more scores!
[–]SnarkyFella 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't date the girl at work if you like your job. If you dont give a fuck about the job, go for it. Im sure you know it's a bad idea in the long run. Girls are everywhere. Congrats man.
[–]Kraz_I 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sex with a stranger in a parking garage tends to be awkward and embarrassing no matter how you handle it, unless you manage to find a girl who's a REAL freak. I wouldn't worry too much about having messed up. Honestly, the best way to avoid embarrassment is to get her in a more private place, like your room or a hotel if you can't do that. Maybe spend a little more time getting to know her before going trying to get laid.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She asks if I want to have sex. And of course I do. I start to unzip my pants, and she flips out.
I laughed a little at this. Don't take it personally, maybe you'll find it a little funny too.
It came naturally.
It sure did.
Looks like you reached a huge milestone. Good on you. These experiences will serve you well, good and bad, because it will shape you into a true character and identity that you can - and will - be proud of. Assuming you continue to work on yourself.
Keep it up.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Ah... so you know the two rules then =)
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Which two rules?
[–]TTrui11 points 10 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Be attractive
Kinda lame and guys with low self esteem use it as an excuse when they don't get matches on Tinder.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This. And when you point that out on the tinder sub that maybe having a bit of game has something to do with it, you get downvoted into oblivion by those shouting THE RULES THE RULES
Every single 'successful ' pickup thread on /r/Tinder. Fucking pisses me off.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So how do you get matches on tinder? Ive used a good quality picture of me in a good fitting suit and still get no matches. Its definitely rules 1 and 2. Tinder is based off pictures. There is no game when it comes to getting matches. Its all about who's attractive.
Thank you. This has been my experience as well as far as matches go. When a conversation does start, it's easy from there.
[–]adamsmith93 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
1) Be attractive
2) Don't be unattractive
[–]ResistingTemptation 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh jeez not this bs again
[–]iceman58796 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I thought this joke was done...
[–]Mrdontsmilemuch 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
That's badass bro and she was Asian/freak. Lucky mofo~~~ congrats amigo!
[+]qidaninhuman -15 points-14 points-13 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That is racist and uncalled for. Not all Asians are freaks.
we were biting each other she told me to choke her
we were biting each other
Jesus, people are so quick to assume RACISM!!!
[–]Mrdontsmilemuch 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol what? I'm confused:/
[–]ThatSpecialPlace 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm a pretty good looking guy and I got a ton of likes.
Not that it really matters, but how good looking do think you are? (1-10 scale) Because it sounds the Asian chick plenty of opportunities to turn you down, and you got a bunch of matches on Tinder.
[–]Jord5i 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Meh, getting matches with average looks is also quite doable. Also don't forget plenty of research shows we (humans) severely overestimate our looks.
[–]ThatSpecialPlace 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So you mean I'm even uglier than I think I am? :(
[–]Dyablo66 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Congratulations! And I think it brings an interesting point about Tinder/online dating. It seems frowned upon in this sub, but I actually think this is the easiest way for an inexperienced guy. As Good Looking Loser says (really legit guy IMO) - if you're virgin/inexperienced, get laid a few times from online dates, then start cold approaching as your confidence gets built up. Else, you're likely to get discouraged very fast.
[–]WhosCountin 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you have good pictures, then yes. I started this way though without many good pictures and it fucked up my confidence SO HARD out of the gate. Tinder is a dangerous first move unless you are very good looking and/or great at presenting yourself through photos.
[–]Dyablo66 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I absolutely agree. That is the biggest pro of approaching: if you have good personality, you can present it right away. It doesn't matter online. But with enough effort in making your photos great (most guys have terrible ones, so you can really shine here even if you don't naturally look that great) and hitting the numbers (unfortunately a big part of online), I believe most guys can find a cute girl. But it's still easier and less overwhelming when you're a beginner with no sense of entitlement
[–]boarder_states 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm glad you found your way to get what you want as your authentic self, and not by following a rule book like a lost little sheep (which a lot of people are doing). Good on you!
[–]Unattractive123 -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ok all I could read was 'finally'. come on. 22 is not that bad for being a virgin.
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[–]Catfoxdogbro 18 points19 points20 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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