Recently a girl stopped talking to me after a few months because she was visiting a friend in another state and they facetimed me; I was trying to be nice and say how sexy they looked sitting together. Then I admittedly sort of crossed a boundary but I was clearly, 100% joking when I told the other girl "If Kacie ever breaks up with me you should call me." Kacie was right there listening and I thought she would laugh it off like my sister and her friends laugh my jokes off and tell me to go fuck myself. Kacie did not laugh.

I can appreciate that maybe I wouldn't like it if a girl said that to one of my friends she just met but I truly believe I would laugh it off and not even think about it, especially if that friend was only facetiming from several states away. I'm also positive I would pick up on the humorous tone.

"That girl is like 6 states away from me, how could you possibly think I was serious? I was just trying to be nice and make your friend feel good, I didn't know what to say!" I later protested. Apparently, I crossed a line; according to Kacie I was "planting seeds" and how I treat her in front of her friends is "one of her big things."

I'm sad we never closed but I'm glad she's gone and I'm grateful for what she taught me; I'm not the problem.

After she left, I realized this was not the first time I accidentally tripped an emotional landmine of hers and, in retrospect, every thing seemed to be "one of her big things." Everything I ever said to her, would be met with "Uhhhh... what do you mean?" And I would have to explain myself and the underlying humor beneath every joke only to then have it explained to me why it was not funny even though I thought it was very funny.

I'm thankful to Kacie for teaching me that I literally have no standards for a woman's personality and never have. I would just be more than happy to dedicate my time and resources to any woman who I was physically attracted to and who reciprocated interest in me. The ironic thing is 95% of the time all those women were analyzing my personality.

I would just ignore things that killed me like girls refusing to eat seafood ever (which I love), being overtly materialistic, or being Republican. I have dated a number of women who were not terribly "Open" in psychological terms and it is probably not best for me.

Basically, I have decided that if a woman can't tell that I am joking and always gets offended I have to walk away from her because it will never change and she will break my spirit and joy. Maybe I am an abrasive person? I have to accept that I do not mesh well with very sensitive people and I can't make them be something they are not.

The hard part about being a funny guy is that everybody loves you when you hit or when you tickle their spine with dark humor but everybody HATES you when you miss. One off color joke that landed with the friends can make a girl stop answering your texts. Nobody realizes how all you really want is to keep up smiles and a happy vibe for everyone in the room.

I don't deserve to be with someone who just sort of "puts up with" how I am, I need to seek out someone who embraces and complements my way of life.

I am not willing to involve myself in an endless cycle of apologizing for who I am and what makes me happy or what I think is funny, and you shouldn't either.