I’m struggling to understand what makes a man attractive.

Murfdigidy · 2019-11-07T00:00:45+00:00

You struggle to find what makes a man attractive because mentally what you are is very unattractive. I'm not dogging you, I was there and I know the feeling.

But let me get it to you straight, the #1 aphrodisiac for all women is CONFIDENCE. Girls LOVE confidence, nothing is sexier to a woman than a man with a high self esteem. He's fun, confident, and interesting and girls magnet to these men.

So the key is to work on your self esteem issues first. First and foremost work on yourself and become your best self. Your best asset is yourself. Don't be your worst enemy, be your best asset. Read books on self esteem and becoming more positive in your outlooks. You're already taking the right steps by bettering yourself and cutting out porn etc.

Confidence is like working out, you're not going to see results in a day, a week or even a month but if you stay consistent and you keep on the right path slowly you'll notice a change, slowly confident will grow like biceps grow when yiy work out. Pretty soon you realize wow I feel good I look good and boom girls pick up on the new and improved you.patience and time is all it takes sometimes

2019-11-07T00:33:08+00:00

Attractive men are first and foremost un-needy.

This "un-neediness" manifests in a variety of other attractive traits: confidence, high self-esteem, social skills, ambition, a higher purpose, etc.

Ultimately, as Mark Manson says, it comes down to your mindset: you need to care more about what you think of yourself than what others think about you.

The rest will come once you have the correct mindset.

FrankyCastiglione · 2019-11-06T23:44:45+00:00

Shark mentality: Swim. Eat. Make baby sharks.

They don't care what the world thinks. They have superior focus and they ALWAYS move forward.

Get out of your head and into a woman's.

iedaiw · 2019-11-07T00:05:18+00:00

So ok what youve talked about is basically the bare minimum to getting into most relationships. There are some where 2 ppl get together because of circumstance or wtv but we assume you dont have those.

Focus on why girls SHOULD date you and not why they shouldnt not date you. That is focus on your positives

yrogerg123 · 2019-11-07T02:51:54+00:00

There's no magic bullet for confidence. It's earned. It's earned through struggle. By trying valiently, failing spectacularly, and learning that failure is not that big a deal.

I don't know if this will help you too much, maybe it will. But I was a child at 20. A scared little boy who had never been with a girl and was terrified to try. At 32 I'm a man, who's had beautiful women, and if I don't choose just one, I will have many more.

But this is not some rah-rah bravado, build myself up with affirmations bullshit. I've gone through tough times in my life, traveled, fallen in love, had my heart broken, burned out of jobs, gotten fired, been addicted, gotten sober. And at the end of it, I'm a man. Men get women.

I look at guys fresh out of college, and they look like children. It doesn't even seem fair that they have to compete with me. I look at their faces and see the fear and uncertainty. Most of them are not men yet. I met a few actual men in my college days, but only a few.

At the end of the day, to be attractive to women, you have to feel like you deserve it. The actions are so easy, giving yourself permission to act that way is so hard. It's hard to explain. I'm not that different from a personality perspective, I have the same sense of humor, I look the same. I dress the same. I had style then, I worked hard then, I was funny then, I made girls laugh...but I'm magnetic now, it's hard to even describe. There's something fundamentally different, I'm just so comfortable being me, so sure that women will like me. I just talk normally to women, but there's something inside me now, a switch I know I can flip. To make it sexual. Girls want to meet the right guy. It's biological, believe that. Women are attracted to men. Believe that too. It's what scared boys forget because they haven't felt it.

You can and should learn some techniques, understand women, all of that. Study meditation, learn to quiet your mind. Learn female psychology, learn pickup tricks. Talk to women, over and over, excel at school, keep at the gym. Be the best version of yourself, work at it, put yourself in tough situations, try and fail, then get up and try again. At some point, hopefully, you look in the mirror and say "wow...that's an attractive man looking back at me, when did that happen?" and then you give yourself permission to actually believe that women should want you, instead of trying to convince them, or trick them, or smooth-talk them. Those last three things will work, they'll get you numbers, even laid, guys have a ton of success just trying, going out, approaching, being persistent, trusting that if you approach fifty, get 10 numbers, 3 or 4 like you, 1 or 2 sleep with you. And eventually that positive feedback, and the feeling that you're putting in work, earning this, getting better at a valuable skill, it will change you. Believe that.

But there's no magic bullet for confidence. And it's a cliche because it is true: confidence is attractive. Women shit test because they want to feel your masculinity, your confidence. They want to feel that with or without them, you will live your life your way. That's what's attractive.

chessman6500 · 2019-11-07T00:36:50+00:00

I’m trying to figure that out myself, I always constantly feel insecure and think that there’s nothing I’d have to offer to a woman then I realize it’s probably being too nihilistic.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-11-07T02:34:36+00:00

I dress nice

I keep good hygiene

I workout 5-6 days a week

I studying in a major I have a huge passion for

These are things for YOU. You do these things presumably to make yourself happy and healthy, not to please others. The fact that you only seem to do these things to try to get a girl, means you're lacking in self-respect, which is repellent to women.

I’m been attempting to curb a porn addiction (currently 90 days clean)

This is a human thing you're struggling with here. It's natural that if you're lacking something like human companionship in the form of sex, that you'd look for substitutes and end up addicted.

The goal here is to develop your social confidence specifically by finding ways to get you out into the world and meeting new people.

Porn addiction is what happens when you think you have nothing to do and stay at home and simulate rather than interact with real people.

....and I attempt to talk to anyway I can.

How do you come up with things to talk about in conversation?

Can you give a DETAILED example of the last conversation you tried to hold with a girl?

anonymous478569 · 2019-11-07T01:00:01+00:00

Zara and Gap is cheap. Buy ralph lauren, armani, gucci etc. You gotta show your wealth for fuck sake. 5-6 days? What the fuck for? 4 is all you need. And cardio to keep that blood pumping so that your cock stays rock solid! What do you study? Doctor? Lawyer? Engineer? Economics? Do not fucking tell me that you are a damn programmer.. at that point you can cut your cock off if you arent okay with buying escorts. Lol porn addiction.. only addiction you have is low self-asteem. Dont blame some show on the internet due to your shame about your sexuality. Own it. Embrace it even.

Oh and also, nothing you said says anything about you. What makes any person attractive? Being physically attractive. Looking healthy as fuck and hot. And its all different. I for example attract girls who want to settle down due to how I look. Of course I hate it. But I also understand that buying an escort is not wrong. You gotta use what the lord gave you my boy! And remember.. odds are.. you only live one time. So do what ever you want in your 20s. Then at your 30s you can be more resposble and settle down etc.

Title	I’m struggling to understand what makes a man attractive.
Author	DreadfulCalmness
Upvotes	11
Comments	31
Date	November 6, 2019 11:17 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dsogzr/im_struggling_to_understand_what_makes_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-struggling-to-understand-what-makes-a-man.1483163 https://theredarchive.com/post/1483163

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