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[–]norwegiandoggo 395 points396 points397 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
If you must control or manipulate your partner to stay with you. It's time to let go
[–]ImJustSo 126 points127 points128 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sleep brain totally skipped the "If" and hoo boy does that change the meaning.
[–]lalitbhardwaj793 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol same
[–]RockinMadRiot 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
To me love is selfless and freedom, if anything selfish comes into it, then it's no longer love. Love by definition is selflessness.
[–]Masol_The_Producer 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Love isn’t anything but what we want it to be. What suits us is what we come to define love as.
[–]RockinMadRiot 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What do you define it as? You have more curious. Of course, everyone is different.
[–]Masol_The_Producer 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Love is basically a stronger word for like.
It’s what you say to someone when you want to be in a romantic relationship with them or when you want to keep it.
[–]TarzansNewSpeedo 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What's really hard is being on the other end where there's the third factor of intimidation. Have a marvelous terrible example with my old man. It's not fun, and trying to move away feels like using a potato peeler to remove your own skin with the way he digs in on almost anything and everything
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]musterkin 51 points52 points53 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
My parents’ marriage hasn’t been that good. My father is very much dominant over my mother.
Now I recently got into my first relationship and this is something I told her. Because yes if she’s doesn’t feel free what’s the point of love.
[–]Dominus-Prime- 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Which means if she wants to leave you’re not gonna try and stop her
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
If you let a girl leave she will always come back. If you don’t let a girl leave she will lose respect and never come back.
[–]BrownThunderMK 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
While the message here is overall good, life is more complex than cool sounding one off quotes like the one above me.
[–]datkrauskid 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you let a girl leave she may sometimes come back.
[–]musterkin 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly
Yeah, it’s my FIRST, we’re exploring each and life together. Whatever happens we’ll face it.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
life is not a disney movie
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Another similar version says: “If you love them, set them free”
[–]Lorik_Bot 34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think the meaning is very different, one says that your love should not feel like a restrain but freedom itself. The other one is more of letting go as far as I know.
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They are two sides of the same coin, they’re both based on the concept that you can’t force someone to love you. The fact that you let them know they’re free and thus letting them go is almost the same thing.
[–]musterkin 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
And if they come back that means nobody loved them so get rid of them.
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lol, that makes sense to some extent, but I wouldn’t base a rule on that ;-)
Yeah, it’s just a funny statement, I read years ago (with troll face meme).
[–]hrishavkant 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree to this to core
[–]Dominus-Prime- 44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link
Problem is- most guys in this sub are clingy and needy to any girl who gives them attention.
This advice is very advanced. Love, is quite easy to do. You can love just about anyone. It can be given freely and boundlessly. But most guys have a covert contract and see love as transactional. This is because they are still in a lower state of neediness and hunger which leads to expectation. They have this bc they don’t know themselves, for, if a guy knows himself and is a man, he doesn’t need anything from a woman.
A Man can have numerous lovers, bond with them, care for them, love them all but not grasp at or try to possess them. It also requires setting the stage that these women are on his chessboard and he decides who gets to the inner circle of trust and respect. It’s takes time. However, this leads to the one problem of management. It becomes a second job maintaining these connections. Some women will love spending time with a man (because it’s rare) and not care so much that she is in competition for first chair. Other women will put up with it for a short time and say “I deserve better” and leave. And this is fine. They are all free to come and go as they please. Those women with that attitude will find themselves often going for a nice “Kevin” who fauns over their every move. Eventually they will become bored with the lack of emotional challenge, stimulation and variety.
The secret hidden in this quote is the “go free” part. When a man allows to let a woman go it takes the power out of their pussy. Whatever’s left are whatever qualities she brings to the table. A man can see clearly what is valuable and what isn’t once the power of her pussy is taken away.
[–]chuckvsthelife 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I broke up with someone once because I loved them and could see she was miserable being with me. That was shitty but you know what she’s happy now. The person she wanted me to be in order to be happy wasn’t me, but she also didn’t want to do the breaking up so I had to do it.
Love isn’t about making yourself feel good. Lots of guys are here trying to complete themselves and make them selves feel good through emotional attachment. You got to be good for yourself and just enable partners to be happier through your care and live for them. Just my 2 cents.
[–]Dominus-Prime- -3 points-2 points-1 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I hope you didn’t understand me with my example. The women who are in your life are there because they want to spend time in the presence of a man. If they are miserable you are doing it all wrong. The idea is you treat them all very good. Love them if you choose. Then it’s up to them to compete for first chair in your orchestra. It’s best if they know about one another. If one or more get pissed at the idea usually it’s because they want your full attention and have low self esteem. They’ll say “I have too much self respect to do this” but the reality is that it’s the fighter who truly believes they can win, who stays in the ring despite the odds.
[–]crystalcastles 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
How do I move to a higher state?
[–]joeydeth 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Find your mission/purpose.
[–]Dominus-Prime- 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Work on becoming a man and make sure you’re not simply copying what you think is a man
[–]crystalcastles 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
"work on becoming a man" is pretty nebulous, could you recommend more actionable steps?
[–]Dominus-Prime- 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s nebulous bc it’s a time consuming affair that takes years to accomplish. An actionable step would be allowing yourself to be genuine without fear of being disliked. Another is to get your thoughts, words and actions in sync with one another
[–]crystalcastles 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Any books you'd recommend?
[–]Dominus-Prime- 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A good one is Meditations by Roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius.
[–]The_Sir_Galahad 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What a great quote.
I think this is why most men fail in relationships and dating.
Needy men are the most unattractive to women.
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
It's repeated a few times in Corey Wayne's "How to be a 3% man". Definitely worth reading. A few times if you haven't already
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's really cheap, I bought it on my Kindle for like $10. But the author provides it for free on his website.
https://understandingrelationships.com/free-ebook
[–]barragan14 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’ll take the pdf too if you have it
[–]Dominus-Prime- 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Dude it’s like $3
[–]vordster 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Can you send me a pdf of $3?
[–]golicwarrior 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Can you send me a pdf ?
[–]disbitchdathoe69 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So true!! I loved him so much and trusted he was doing what I was. He was so free he never even thought of me or what we built together. One day I will heal.
[–]Joshd_47 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Unconditional love at its finest. If you loved someone, you’d let them go, no attachment. Any done in attachment has a degree of lust, fear, greed, imbalance or scarcity
[–]Shashankmiller 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My friend is a natural and always girls really crave him literally... He said to me once that the only way to keep a person, if that's your goal, is to let them go if they want to.. I've seen his gf going mad over him bcos he gives so much freedom that she actually stays glued to him.
[–]ahmed_1dhari1 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I feel like I'm afraid from the whole world to even think to touch her, how can i just don't think this way🥺
[–]LucianU 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If I understood you, you are afraid you will lose her?
[–]ahmed_1dhari1 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Always 😿
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like this. I’ll remember for my next relationship.
[–]notathr0waway1 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My mom never did that with me and that's why I am almost estranged from her
[–]sexy-sage-hatake 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
how can i make my partner feel more free?
[–]barragan14 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nice! Worth it
One piece ??
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]norwegiandoggo 395 points396 points397 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]ImJustSo 126 points127 points128 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]lalitbhardwaj793 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RockinMadRiot 25 points26 points27 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]musterkin 51 points52 points53 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dominus-Prime- 16 points17 points18 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]BrownThunderMK 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]datkrauskid 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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