It’s been almost a year since I got out of a 6 year relationship that encompassed most of my adolescence. After breaking up, I realized that I had no idea how to talk to women, I had no real sense self, and I felt no confidence in myself. I was a nice guy/simp. I would fumble what I said around women, constantly filter what I said, and worst of all…I put women on a pedestal. I was scared of messing up all the time, and catering what I said to what I thought they wanted to here

Since then, I’ve become very happy with myself and my results. Here are some things i’ve changed about myself and how they’ve personally affected me.

• Increased self confidence: no longer putting women on pedestals (not worried about texting them back or them hitting me back). I no longer filter what I say. I‘m not afraid of confrontation anymore, i actually thrive in it. (if a girl doesn’t like my genuine self —> NEXT.) I’ve experienced women initiating with me now and I now have full belief in everything I say, which has resulted in more people in general listening to and putting weight on what I say.
• Physical Escalation: I used to be afraid to touch a girl even if I was almost positive she was into me (definitely caused me to screw the pooch with a couple of girls overtime). Now, I incorporate physical escalation into most of my day-to-day interactions, even when not talking to women. I think this has strengthened my currently relationships with friends as well as all of my relationships with women. Effects i’ve noticed are that people tend to invite me to hang out more, more people come to talk to me, girls actually kissing me and girls going out of their way to sit next to me in group interactions.
• Flirting/Teasing: I used to put way too much weight in what I was saying when flirting. Constantly looking up ways to flirt in anything, not really paying attention to the girls reaction as I was constantly in my own head. I’ve fully adopted the idea that it’s not what you say it’s how you say it. I come up with my own lines and own teases and deliver them with eye contact and a smirk on my face. I’ve also learned how to calibrate and ramp up or dial back escalation and flirting based on her reactions. I’ve noticed that I’m just much more comfortable flirting with women. Even if i’m not necessarily interested in them, it just comes natural to me. For example, I was hanging out with a group of friends a couple nights ago. There’s this one girl in the group who I have known for a while. She had a boyfriend, but I noticed that she stayed around me the whole night when I really just felt like I was doing me when it hadn’t ever been like that.

These are just a few of the noticeable effects i’ve seen in my life, but the thing I’ve noticed the most is that i’m now fully living in the present. When I go on a date, i’m not worried about the result anymore. I’m not worried about getting a second date. I just want maximizing the fun i’m having in any given situation. And in doing so, I don’t really care what anyone else thinks of me because I’m having a good time. My mission each day is to be a better person than I was the day before. I still have a whole lot of work to do, but I’m the happiest i’ve ever been in my life. I attribute much of this to what I’ve learned from this subreddit. If you’re still reading this, thanks. I really appreciate you all.