Difference between pursuing an F-Close & a GF

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-02-24T20:20:22+00:00

It is easier to set up an LTR once you've already had sex with a woman. In fact, you really have to F-close before you're going to set up any sort of relationship.

But your approach to seduction will set her expectations of the level of relationship. If you take your time and go slow, have several dates etc. before sleeping with her, she's thinking LTR. If you do a quick same night lay, she's thinking ONS or FWB at best.

This is a topic of pua called "Relationship Management." Look on Youtube for some videos of Savoy talking about Relationship Management, his stuff is pretty good. My remark about setting her expectations comes from Savoy's videos.

RandianHero · 2013-02-24T20:46:19+00:00

In my experience, keeping girls in the friends with benefits zone is harder than getting them to be your girlfriend. If you're an awesome guy who's good in bed and fun to be around, they'll want a relationship eventually anyway. It's only a matter of time. Just keep going out with her and fucking. Treat her like a girlfriend even if there is no official label. Eventually, oxytocin will kick in and she'll want something serious.

Groovy_Peppers · 2013-02-24T19:14:25+00:00

You are a lot more likely to develop a potential GF from sleeping with her than not so you are doing that right. Simply show her overtime that you care for her: ask her what her favorite drink/food is and get it for her. Just have fun when you are around her and try to not just think about getting laid all the time. Sounds like your doing well my friend, keep it up.

Soupertramp · 2013-02-25T04:12:16+00:00

Hey man. I wrote the top post about relationships on Seddit. I may be able to give you some advice.

Often, if you are having a hard time transitioning from F-closes to Gf-closes, you haven't built enough rapport. Remember, that 90% of what a couple does is non-sexual, so it's really important for a woman to feel like she can be really good friends with you.

It sounds like you more or less have the attraction thing down, so I would work on rapport, including:

Conversation
Humor
Mutual interest building/linking
Creating memories together

You might even try sleeping with her later than you usually do. And, of course, that's just beginning. Being in a relationship takes work. It's amazing and fun and rewarding, but it definitely takes a little effort.

Let me know if you have any other questions! :)

RonnieLibra · 2013-02-25T07:12:30+00:00

I've had several long term relationships since I've been at this. About 8 years now. The more focus you put on trying to make the girl your girlfriend the less they will want to be your girlfriend.

The funny thing is, the girls I told, "We're nothing serious. We're just friends." are the ones that wanted to stick around more and more, while the ones I told, "Hey, I like you, I'd like to see you more," are the ones that bolted almost immediately.

It's counter intuitive but I think WANTING a relationship falls into the category of Following not leading. In other words, it is her job to want a relationship since it is like a choice to follow the other person. So when the guy wants it, it is like putting the girl above him. Perhaps it is unnatural. I don't know, all I do know is I've had enough experiences on both side to see the patterns.

I remember a conversation with one chick I used to date for over a year. We talked one day and she said, "I want to call this off." and she gave me her reasons. When I responded like, "Cool! That's fine with me. I mean, this whole time we've been together I'm doing my thing and it's cool if you do your thing too. Do whatever you want. We're still cool. I don't want to control anyone. We're both adults."

Soon that girl was back at me, and even sooner she was telling me how it just "felt so right" being with me.

So here's the thing, bro. Keep meeting new girls. Don't smother them, BUT make sure you see them once or twice a week (the ones you like). Over time you will notice that you just so happen to be in a relationship. Eventually the girl will most likely give you the DTR.

Let me give you the secret phrase to say when you are about to have sex with girls for the first time.

Say it if you mean it because you will SEE the chick melt, and she might even remark about you saying it.

"Just promise me that whatever happens tonight, that this wont be the last time we see each other."

Dude, watch what happens.

QuidProQuorcupine · 2013-02-25T00:16:56+00:00

Here's an idea regarding communication: always call.

Panzerfauste · 2013-02-25T02:11:37+00:00

If I don't just want an f-close, I act myself 100% myself and don't actively try to create attraction, just let the attraction make itself and dont go out of my way actively trying to be alpha. I dont want an LTR to be attracted to an ideal. In my eyes this leads to less relationships, but much more meaningful ones which is what I want.

onemessageyo · 2013-02-25T03:02:51+00:00

1) Yes you need to be a little more vulnerable to get a girlfriend. You have to ask her out or make it official at some point, and at that point you will risk sounding needy.

2) Girlfriend is not a close. It's not over once you have a girlfriend, you have to work on that relationship every day, asking yourself "am I being a good boyfriend" instead of "is she more dependent on me than she was yesterday"

You need a middle ground in a relationship. When it comes to closing, it's more about building value above hers. When you're in a relationship you want you girl to think that she deserves you and you deserve her. Trust me I got out of the PUA scene for this very reason. When I would date girls they get clingy as hell, they don't believe they're good enough for me, because I fucking trained them!

So the difference is, in my opinion, is to show a little vulnerability, don't be the cool guy or the guy who's always right, be yourself. You're going to be in hell if you're in a relationship with a girl who fell in love with your PUA persona, and doesn't know or care for the real you.

This doesn't mean become a little bitch. You don't want to flood her with compliments. It does mean you need to be more about the relationship, the rope that holds both of your together, than you are about getting laid. Think about what you want in a relationship, what's important to you, and bag girls as usual while keeping that in mind. I'm sure when you started your PUA path, you knew that a big reason why you were doing it was so that when the girl of your dreams DOES come along, you'll be ready for it. Message me if you want, I've been in your shoes.

TheFuckingWriter · 2013-02-25T03:15:50+00:00

As soon as you change your behavior, you've lost your frame and fallen into hers. Stay your own course with how you fucked her in the first place and she'll eventually fall.

kingcal · 2013-02-25T14:30:30+00:00

I don't think you need to do anything different. I've gotten two girlfriend in the last year just using the stuff I've learned from seddit. The only difference is that when I make an exceptional connection with a girl, not just a physical one, but a deep, emotional one, I'm honest about it. Within the second or third time F-closing them, I'll start a conversation about what kind of relationship they're interested. Both times, they've both felt the same way as I did.

Just be honest. If you like a girl and want to start seeing her, tell her so. Obviously, don't overdo it, but just give her a simple "I like you and I want to spend more time with you" kind of thing.

Title	Difference between pursuing an F-Close & a GF
Author	mrpocket
Upvotes	21
Comments	22
Date	February 24, 2013 7:02 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1956my/difference_between_pursuing_an_fclose_a_gf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/difference-between-pursuing-an-f-close-a-gf.1347942 https://theredarchive.com/post/1347942

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