Does playing “hard to get” even exist?

DaygameCode · 2025-03-09T22:25:41+00:00

Many men tell themselves a woman is playing hard to get as a way to avoid reality that she simply is not interested.

Many men also tell themselves a woman is playing hard to get because they are desperate and don’t think they deserve better because in their experience women don’t come easy. So they put extra effort on a girl because the think they must in order to “earn” a woman.

So the question is not really “does it exist” the real question is “should you as a man settle for that and play games?”

A man with self-respect and with abundance would say no. A guy who struggles to get women will usually say yes.

MrDownhillRacer · 2025-03-10T09:46:46+00:00

Different people respond to the same things in different ways.

I've found that some women, if they like me, try to make things easy for me by making themselves more available to me, going out of their ways to talk to me and laugh at my stupid jokes, etc. etc.

And then there are some that seem to not want to come across as "too eager" and will act disinterested. I've noticed this is especially common with Eastern European women, who seem less forward and more aloof. The thing that lets me know that a woman is doing this and that I'm not mistaking a genuine lack of interest is if despite being aloof and giving me one-word answers, she's still, like, trying to linger around me and stealing glances at me. Even looking a bit concerned when she thinks I'm about to walk away, like "oh shit, he's leaving now." Then I know, okay, she's not actually annoyed by my presence.

But the vast majority of a time, if she's acting uninterested, it's because she's actually uninterested.

CoachSlyDating · 2025-03-09T21:35:55+00:00

This is a great question.

I think the answer is yes and no. You have to keep in mind that girls attraction operates on a spectrum. Sometimes they are attracted to you as a 9 out of 10, and other times it falls to a 7 out of 10.

Yes, I think some girls have played this game in an attempt to get a guy. Maybe they perceived that guy as higher status than them, so they thought they would raise their status by making it difficult for him. This is rare in my experience. Girls love chasing guys.

I think in most instances girls will give subtle hints that they like you at various points in hte interaction. They ask for your name first. They flick their hair. They give great eye contact. They touch you. They make an innuendo. After all of this, they expect a high value guy to pick up on. They won’t necessarily make it easy, but they make it fairly obvious for the seasoned eye. Seduction is a language that must be learned.

A lot of girls do make it obvious. Late night texts. Asking to hang out, Etc.

If you run strong game, you won’t get the hard to get crap very often.

Dwerg1 · 2025-03-10T06:27:53+00:00

It does exist and she might actually be interested, but it is a stupid strategy.

If a woman who is into me is playing hard to get I will take her actions at face value, interpret it as lack of interest and move on. Even if I figure out she's just playing, I won't be pursuing her, in fact that shit turns me off. Her not getting me is her punishment for this stupidity.

devilkingx2 · 2025-03-10T15:50:12+00:00

Playing hard to get exists but generally it’s:

No interest, which is not really hard to get.
Low interest, she is just barely open to talking to you, so you must jump through hoops and stick the landing each time.
Red flag personality. She just loves to play games and make things hard, or perhaps it’s in her nature and she’s bound to that nature. Either way, even if she likes you your life will be hard if you stick with her.

1 would be like if you ask her out and she makes an excuse and you try to convince her to say yes.

2 would be like if you ask her out, and she expects you to figure out what time works for her as well as what kind of food she likes.

3 would be girls who shit test you very often or give you very hardcore ones. I was watching a video about shit tests and found out that some girls will break up with you and you can “pass” it like a shit test and get her to come back by not caring and waiting for her to reach out.

JustAnotherGorilla · 2025-03-09T21:35:35+00:00

It could be in the way that she might be hesitant to sleep with you but I don’t think she will flake or ghost

MysteryLiezer · 2025-03-10T00:20:23+00:00

What would be worse:

The fact that she was okay with playing “hard to get,” with you?

OR

The fact that you allowed her to?

—————————

That is, why wouldn’t Jeff Bezos ever get caught double texting someone?

Is it because no one would ever make him have to?

OR

Is it because he could never care enough about the people who would?

—————————

The answer, is that it wouldn’t matter, because playing hard to get simply doesn’t exist…

easy-money-sniperr · 2025-03-10T04:26:04+00:00

Yes but she’d still be teasing/playful/flirty with you if she’s not then she’s just not interested

dbootywarrior · 2025-03-09T22:31:50+00:00

I never dated any women that played hard to get

HomelessMilkman · 2025-03-10T11:12:53+00:00

As a whole, it should be fairly obvious that the girl is contributing to whatever extent she feels comfortable (showing investment) but moment to moment, it's unrealistic to expect the girl to be constantly fiending for your attention because that's frankly 'monotonous' .

Overall, there's a big difference between 'playful banter' and 'not interested'. She's not going to intentionally make it difficult to meet up with her for example if she likes you but things you could describe as 'shit tests' occur to add flavour.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-03-10T16:21:53+00:00

Girls sometimes are just nervous. So if everything went perfect they can still just be nervous and put barriers in place for that reason.

Sometimes they just aren’t interested. So that seems like hard to get. Sometimes they are but aren’t really sure on you so are testing you. So that could be on as well

PeperoParty · 2025-03-10T22:25:59+00:00

Yea. I played it a lot when I was younger. It makes some girls go crazy but if you drag it on too long she will end up hating your guts.

Money_Horror_2899 · 2025-03-10T22:27:05+00:00

According to Hollywood's movies and series writers, it most certainly exists...

marcoo24 · 2025-03-10T23:31:01+00:00

It only happens if there is a huge value gap. She sees herself very undervalued against you. It happens to me a lot with ugly to average girls and street whore type. I mean if you really wanna fuck her just call it out why she is doing this and be brutal. Then say fuck off if she keeps playing the game then pull a little. I mean hardcore push and pull. Then she gets brainfucked, afterwards easy to fuck. But dont hang out with that type a lot for your own good.

marcoo24 · 2025-03-10T23:32:21+00:00

Yeap

Rollorich · 2025-03-11T13:40:18+00:00

Play hard to get, become hard to want

InterestingGate7002 · 2025-03-11T15:58:20+00:00

Short answer, yes it does happen, but many guys can't tell the difference between "not interested" and "playing hard to get". Or more specifically, they delude themselves instead of facing reality.

Long answer, it should ultimately be irrelevant because you shouldn't be tolerating women who play games with you. Even if she's interested in you and playing hard to get, say you finally "get" her... then what? When the going gets tough, and it will, she'll just start playing games again to get what she wants. Do you really want to be with someone like that?

Savings-Seat6211 · 2025-03-10T06:00:08+00:00

Hard to get is barely a thing anymore. Nobody really does this besides 1% of girls if anything.

Nowadays if she likes you, she will not play games like that. She'll make it obvious and tell you.

Women are more direct than ever nowadays.

Title	Does playing “hard to get” even exist?
Author	drakeinmycar
Upvotes	32
Comments	23
Date	March 9, 2025 9:12 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1j7htpf/does_playing_hard_to_get_even_exist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-playing-hard-to-get-even-exist.1546084 https://theredarchive.com/post/1546084

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