I’ve been studying game for almost a decade now, and I’ve noticed a weird trend of guys quoting Ross Jeffries (via Neil Strauss) claiming that “the main tenant in seduction is to leave a girl better than you found her.” The idea being that if you’re getting involved in a situation you should be the kind of guy that, for whatever reason, leaves a girl better off than before she met you. Ironically, one the first uses of “leaving things better than you found them” was from Robert Baden-Powell, the founder of the Boy Scouts, and now it’s being used by a bunch of dudes doing everything they can to seduce women.

While it’s nice to be noble and all that, this concept is centered around only one thing: relieving the guilt associated with dedicating a lot of time and energy to fuck a lot of women. It’s something that most people don’t understand. It’s so weird that even guys that are really, really bad with women don’t want to hear about “the seduction community” as so many posts illustrate when bringing methods to their friends. Like it or not, a lot of people think being part of seddit, the community, a PUA, or whatever, is wrong. And Neil Strauss is interested in making it more acceptable to mainstream culture so he can sell more books and product.

I do this to fuck. I think back to my early 20s, before I learned seduction, when I would go years between having sex, and the hopeless desperation I would go through. There is nothing worse in a man’s life than not being able to fuck. That is my main tenant. And my biggest improvements in seduction have come the more I’ve gotten in line with that. I unapologetically seduce women. It’s what I do.

But this idea to “leave her better than you found her” creates a ridiculous internal conflict within any guy that would hope to improve his success with women. Truthfully, I’ll date women 3, 4, or 5 at a time. I leave a lot of details ambiguous about my life, who else I’m seeing, what I do, what I want, what I want from them, if I’ll ever commit, or whatever. I do specific things to get women back to my place. I even have specific strategies in how to have sex with a woman even if she says “no” while we’re fooling around (we’re talking LMR here). Any and even all of these things, if I were to spell out clearly with anyone that isn’t in this community, would find absolutely repulsive and even morally reprehensible.

But they all have been proven to work, and make me attractive to women. And to me, that’s all that matters.

“Leave her better than you found her” is a way for guys to make what they have to do more accepted with the people that they’re doing it with: “what do you mean you completely stopped giving a girl attention when she said she wouldn’t have sex with you, which you know through experience then directly led to you having sex?” -- “Well, don’t worry, I’m going to leave her off better than I found her.”

This is what I’ve learned about women, they are completely unpredictable creatures with a whole set of baggage and drama dragging behind them that weighs them down worse than an anchor. Dealing with them and trying to sleep with them is hard enough without putting the added pressure of having to improve them as well.

I, for one, lay no claim on any other person’s feelings or emotions. She’s in this crazy shark tank known as dating as much as we are. She’s going to do whatever she needs to do, as much as you are. Generally, guys who seek out seduction are nice guys to begin with, so it’s unlikely they’re going to do anything too harmful to a woman anyway. I’m not going to go out of my way to hurt her, as much as I’m not going to go out of my way to help her. I’m going to do what gets me laid. Period.

This doesn’t mean lying and cheating is the right thing to do (unless it works), or the be cruel and fucked up is the right thing to do (unless it works), but let’s be totally honest here, the men we were before we learned seduction would never have been capable of doing a lot of the things we do now, and we do what we do because we’ve seen that it works to get us what we want: success with women.