I was at a New England casino this past weekend and witnessed something that made me want to post.

I was at a pretty cool club in a casino. One of the guys there was hitting on one of the girls that I was with (about an 8). He seemed to be doing real well with her and eventually made it back to her hotel room where I already was enjoying a few drinks with her friends after the club closed. (As an aside, they stop serving drinks at 2am at CT casinos - FUCK THAT).

So anyways, this guy comes into a room with a girl and sees 3 guys and 5 girls chillen in the living area drinking. Here is where he felt that it was necessary to open to our entire group and try to be entertaining to all of us. So he starts talking to us and it feels like this asshole is trying to do a standup act. He is trying to crack all these jokes about drugs (wrong crowd - this group parties hard and could tell he was a tool) and was just getting crickets, but he wouldn't give it up.

Eventually when it was made abundantly clear to the entire room that all of us thought he was a fucking loser, he went back to the girl he came up with (who lost all attraction by now) then got blown out by her and left.

PUA teaches you to put yourself out there, but a lot of times this is fucking wrong. Do not put yourself out there always. You are never obligated to entertain anyone. If this kid was quiet and just came in and asked what we were drinking or something we would have welcomed him right in. Instead, he tried to conquer our social group.

I feel like this is where a lot of PUA material is wrong. You don't need to conquer anything, that's not the point. The point is to get your dick wet. Be cool, be yourself. Standing in front of an entire group of people trying to win their approval is going to make you look like a clown 100 out of 100 times.

So later, after some success with the girl who invited me up, I went down to hit the poker room at about 6am. So I sit down and the clown from before was sitting directly next to me. We started talking about the girl he was trying to close (I prompted him) and he goes, "Dude, I've been reading a lot of PUA stuff and thought I would be good. I did everything right, I don't know what happened."

(I didn't say the following to him)

What happened is that you stepped over your bounds. Never look desperate to win over anyones approval. You might read and hear all this shit about how Mystery can walk into a group and be the life of the conversation - that isn't what pickup is. You had the girl, isolate. If she tells you to come back to her place quick, don't try to alpha over every guy there...just be cool make conversation for a few and then get the hell out of there.

...This brings me back to the title. The trick to all this shit is to be fearless. Always. When he started performing to our group, he felt awkward/insecure and needed us to elevate him. If he was fearless, he wouldn't give a fuck what we thought and would have just continued to escalate with the girl. This would have won him far more respect from our group than the show he tried to give us. Anything you read that is worth its weight in PUA is basically saying this, be fearless. Don't be afraid to open, don't be afraid to escalate, don't be afraid to want this girl, don't be afraid of who you are, don't be afraid to fail. You don't need help from her friends, you don't need to over intellectualize her reaction. You just need to cup your balls and know that you are a man. Fear nothing.