Finally recovered from deep depression at (almost) 25 years old. Any tips for me?

Depressed_Perfection · 2015-02-24T15:15:36+00:00

Talk to women, CUNT DESTROYER.

sh0nuff · 2015-02-24T15:36:28+00:00

The advice I offer is to read Models by Mark Manson. It's more of a handbook to confidence and masculinity versus a manual on PUA. Highly recommended

footlong24seven · 2015-02-25T06:25:42+00:00

Your confidence will carry you through everything. It must come from within yourself. You must do the things that build value to your own self. It's different for each person. Generally, working out eating right and reading classic novels helps me build my confidence.

Think about this for a second: You are sitting on a mountain of diamonds; your mind is capable of getting you everything you want. If you truly understand this, you will see the person you want to become as a tangible goal. All you have to do is direct your mind to whatever you want and you will have it. Once you live your life according to the dictates of your ideal self, you will naturally become that person.

Think of it like you are on a hike headed towards a mountain, except there is no trail. As long as you keep the mountain in view, every step you take will be an advancement toward that mountain peak, even if you come to a barrier and have to backtrack for an alternate route. The mind works like that. Set the goal in front of you at every waking moment and your subconscious, actions, and everything else will have no choice but to assist you in that direction. If you can picture the person you want to become, how he walks, talks, etc., you will become that person inevitably. I wish someone told me this shit when I was your age.

SocialAlphaMan · 2015-02-24T22:46:51+00:00

What you got to do is start small before you jump right into cold approaching. Especially cold approaching at clubs and university parties. If you are still at the beginning stages of game, you will need a strong back bone if your thinking about cold approaching at clubs and university parties.

This is what I recommend for you: Talk to the people you see everyday a bit more often. Your roommate, your classmates in your classes, your teachers, and friends. Say hi to a handful of people that you cross paths with throughout your day.

Make people do small investments for you like ask them for the time, if they know where a specific place is (even if you already know where it is), asking a classmate a question related to the class subject. The point is to practice your social skills more and to realize that it's not as bad as you might think. Learn not to just deal with acceptance but with rejection as well. It's part of building experience with women.

Join groups that you are highly interested in and become more socially involved. In fact just join clubs/groups just for the purpose of socializing.

Find a good balance on how talkative you should be. You don't want to all of a sudden become super talkative that a few days later you will have no desire to talk to anyone or to improve your social skills.

Make friends with only positive and ambitious people. Get rid of the friends that will just pull you down in life and won't help you grow.

Get involved in more day time activities rather then night activities. People, especially girls, will be much more receptive to your approach during day activities. At night, everything becomes much more competitive and depending where you go to socialize, both men and women will tolerate less from strangers that they don't know.

What is better then cold approaching is to join peoples social circles. As you make friendships with both men and women and as they get more familiar with you, they will consider you as part of their social circle. Eventually both men and women will introduce you to their attractive female friends if you let them know your interested in a certain girl. Getting girls will be at least 10x's easier this way.

So the main lesson is to start socializing in small ways first. Make it a habit. Also, join social circles that you would want to be part of first. Do this by making friends with the most social guy or girl in that group first. Provide that girl or guy with value, not just through words but help them in anyway you can without a big commitment on your part. As this guy or girl starts seeing you more often, they will get more familiar with you and you will get a chance to get invited to his or her social events. You will have access to their friends including their hot female friends which would be at least 10 times easier to approach, attract and seduce. Last get rid of friends that won't add value to your life.

Have you watched my new video yet? Check it out here: http://youtu.be/CHCdyDSMPHc

EndowedDuderino · 2015-02-24T17:20:29+00:00

Sorry if this might be a little off topic and feel free not to respond, but was there a turning point for the depression. I've felt depression all my life and cant seem to shake it.I also go on this subreddit a lot and it helps me,i have gotten girls straight up tell me they want to sleep with me, but the depression just makes me not even really care and not pursue them. Did you come to a realization or medication?

2015-02-24T21:46:27+00:00

Try not to think of yourself as cute. Try something better.

willzef · 2015-02-24T14:58:12+00:00

My opinion would be to just try to talk to women. Don't expect anything, just try making conversation.

Starship_Ogre · 2015-02-24T16:27:55+00:00

Don't get into lying to sleep with women. It's much better when it's meaningful.

Improve yourself, get a few hobbies, get joy on your life. Build yourself and they will come

2015-02-24T16:49:48+00:00

Well, you can always just mass approach girls (with some help from the side-bar). Even if you seem inexperienced on the first 5-10 girls you'll definetly get better at hiding it after that :p

EndOfTheUniverse · 2015-02-24T17:05:18+00:00

I left uni without taking my game to the next level, one of my greatest regrets.

The advice I would give for Uni game? Don't fixate on talking to more girls, talk to more people period.

See a group of people talking about something cool that you're interested in? Go over and introduce yourself, and shoot the shit. Uni is such a friendly place that people won't zone you out, and would entertain you.

Why do I say this? Because the name of the game during Uni is to get invited to parties. And how do you get invited to parties? By knowing alot of people.

So wherever and whenever you are go over and talk to people. Honestly, people don't mind that much.

And don't worry about crashing and burning, just worry about not coming across as a creep. No-one's gonna take the piss out of you for being rejected. They will take ignore and whisper behind your back if your inauthentic and come across as creepy.

The strategies I outlined above got me so much social proof during Uni, that I rarely had to worry too much about Game, which was a blessing and a curse.

autist_pua · 2015-02-24T19:35:00+00:00

I'm in the same situation and what's working for me is Tinder, especially girls who initiate conversation first. I'm still new to the game so I can give only a few tips: DON'T BE NEEDY, this is a big problem for insecure guys. Start dating as many girls as possible so you aren't thinking about & messaging the same girl 24/7, you will only look desperate and just lose her, even if she is doing the same. Showing insecurity is the worst thing you can do, example: girls usually shit test me by mentioning some other guy they are going to see or something similar, if you show any jealousy here it's game over and it's best to move to another girl. If you go Tinder (or similar) route, chat as little as possible (you can only lower your points in the long run), get her number and get her to come to your place to watch a movie or something. I do that and it has worked every time so far and always leads to sex. But I have failed to do everything else I said to do in this post.. Working on them now. Haha.

Not2original · 2015-02-24T20:06:59+00:00

/r/seduction has some helpful advice to get you started. Take only what works for you and your personality as a base and then modify and do what works for you.

AnUnknown · 2015-02-24T21:13:09+00:00

Ask yourself; what does my dream girl(s) want in a man? Then work on becoming that person. The rest falls in to place naturally.

I know. That's as contrived as canned answers get, and it severely oversimplifies the problem, but it really is the truth, and at least for me, is exactly what I needed to do.

For me, my dream girl treats her body well - whether that's eating somewhat balanced, living an acceptably active lifestyle, or some combination of them. In my mind, a girl like that probably wants something similar in a man, so I started thinking about what eating well meant to me and what I could do about my sedentary lifestyle. Started cooking - actual cooking raw meat & vegetables, etc - for myself on a regular basis. Started trying different exercise activities until I landed on something that worked for me.

My dream girl is also self-fulfilled. I'm not interested in replacing my "me" with an "us," rather I'm interested in "her and I." I want a relationship where we can still be individual. So, I thought about what that kind of person would want in a partner and thought they probably want somebody who has other things going on in their lives (besides work/school) and somebody who's too invested in living that life to jump at the drop of a hat to receiving a text message. So, I worked on getting other things in my life, and I started focusing on living in those moments and stopped checking my damn phone all the time.

You can go down the road of trying to "slay some broads," for which all of this is much too slow and simply going for broke with approaches and other "PUA" game is the more successful route. It'll work for that, and might get your dream girl in bed; but unless you figure out how to become the person your dream girl really wants to be with, you're never going to keep her.

Sedditor829 · 2015-02-24T21:55:17+00:00

For me it was learning how to be friends first. A lot of guys I feel like want to learn how to seduce girls when they don't even know how to talk or have a conversation with a girl. Try that first, learn how to be comfortable around them. Being comfortable and relaxed having a conversation with a girl is IMO the most important thing you can do outside of showing interest.

2015-02-24T22:10:18+00:00

Trial and error. You can spend a lot of time you don't have reading/listening to video or you can get out there and meet people. I don't think your issue is only women, i don't think you're the most popular guy either (no offence) so your entire social skills needs major work and you can work on that by approaching people, joining clubs, developing hobbies besides just working out. You need to think big, more macro than just living off the basis of you wanting a 'girlfriend'

good luck.

SoldierGenerale · 2015-02-24T22:43:43+00:00

I've read the other guys advice and it's good but not very practical.

Listen up, this is what you're gonna do.

Go to www.rsdnation.com
JOIN an inner-circle group.
This is going to be group of guys that go out and meet women in your city.

MOST of these guys will not be good with women. The guys that run the group however will usually have good game. The friends of the guys that run the group will sometimes have great game.

It doesn't have to be a rsd inner-circle group. Frankly any pua group will benefit you greatly. Rsd is just the one I know most about.

This is a loooooong process. It will take roughly about 5 years before you start having sex with girls that are models. It's also going to be tough but ride it out. It's harder to be depressed when you have crazy amounts of sex and abundance with women ;)

HappyMexican · 2015-02-24T23:30:19+00:00

First and formost, you have to want to change and be willing to do anything to achieve it. Really focus on your goals here and what would you be happy with. Sleeping with 10? 20? 100? Or just finding one girl to hang out with.

Second, I reccommend joining a Swing/Salsa dance class or club. It really helps break down barriers, like touching, confidence and ability to deal with social awkwardness. Seriously, your ability to plow though feeling like a complete baby faced noob at dancing directly correlates with your ability to deal with social situations and becoming a unshakable confident person. If you can make looking like a fool on a dance floor fun for your partner you are dancing with, that really helps with dealing with women in general in any situation.

Plus picking up girls phone numbers is way easier in this type of environment. Its totally cool to chat while practicing.

2015-02-25T03:27:17+00:00

you're ego died man, shit happened to me. One day I way thinking about killing myself, cried and finally I just gave up. Everything was nice after that. It was like the first time I was breathing for a LOOOOOONG time

Tips for depression : It will come back. You will start feeling down again, just ignore ANY bad thoughts that comes to your mind. DO NOT entertain ANY negative thoughts. It will get rarer and rarer that you feel down.

Most likely after a depression your life sucks, because you have passed the majority of your day depressing and not doing a shit because you could not do anything. Work on your life, Improve yourself. Set yourself goals.

for the women part: dont expect to be good right now. Learn from failure and enjoy victories. Keep approaching and make it a habit.

Emphasis on your strength and be really vague of your weakness. ''Are you a virgin?'' ''Not as much as you''. Never ever take a girl seriously, make fun of her, act as if she's a little girl. In fact, every girl are just little girls. Go date her and act accordingly. Act as if she doesn't know anything. If you want to kiss her, do it, show her how to do it. Lead her.

AnalStorage · 2015-02-25T02:44:01+00:00

I'm in the exact same shoes except I'm 19. Go online dating and use throw away girls to practice. Odds are they'll be attached to you more than you are to them because they're just practice girls. Don't think about being hers while on the date. I notice as soon as you go into that mindset they lose interest. Also passively bringing up things you own of value turns them off. Women don't want a provider. They already have 100 guy friends that do that

Title	Finally recovered from deep depression at (almost) 25 years old. Any tips for me?
Author	Cunt_Destroyer_420
Upvotes	17
Comments	28
Date	February 24, 2015 2:52 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2wzrln/finally_recovered_from_deep_depression_at_almost/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/finally-recovered-from-deep-depression-at-almost.1384446 https://theredarchive.com/post/1384446

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