Hey guys.

So I've been in a weird state of meh lately... I found myself unsatisfied with the girls in my life and having a strange case of approach apathy... I'm going to write another more theoretical post about how I went about fixing that problem. Keep an eye out for it.

Anyway, this is a field report from last night. I meet up with my boy Jewiger from the /r/BayAreaSeddit crew and we check out this awesome new adult bowling alley/bar in our hood. FINALLY a good bounce spot nearby! Thank you, pickup gods :)

We drink there for a bit, make sure to befriend the bartenders (Gentlemen, always do this when a new bar opens in your neighborhood. The easiest time to become a regular is right when the place opens and they don't have a lot of business yet.)

We get in a car and head out to the Marina here in SF (packed with young college girls and bros). The bar we hit up is packed with beautiful, young girls. I get a shot and a beer and decide it's time to start opening some sets.

SET #1: Spanish Tourists

There's a group of 4 girls... 3 of them are quite hot and one of them not-so-much. I go for the low hanging fruit.. Jewiger asks me a question "Is this a Nelly Furtado song?" - I ask the girl the same question. She has no clue. I notice an accent and say "Where you guys from?"

I bring Jewiger into the set and we both plow ahead. The girls say they've been disappointed in the SF party scene so of course we offer to show them a good time. Small talk continues, light kino on the hotter girls, blahblahblah... Set was going OK but the logistics of working a 4-set can get tricky.

Jewiger starts to talk to 2 random AFCs in the bar and we bring them into set. They turn out to be useless and do nothing to engage the girls. Goddammit, learn some wingman skills, gentlemen! We practically handed them a vagina on a silver platter!

Anyway, I see another set in the corner and decide to make some moves...

SET #2

I walk over and open a 3-set of girls, HB8 & her two friends. HB8 is about 5'10" and wearing a tiara. I make sure to keep alpha body posture and stand very close to her (this is very effective - if you're just ever so slightly inside of her comfort zone it will amplify whatever effect you can cause to her buying temperature)

TofuTofu: I like your tiara. I have the same one.

HB8: Oh yeah? Where'd you get it?

TofuTofu: Forever 21.

HB8: Weak. Mine's from Tiffany's. These are real diamonds. trollface

TofuTofu: Wow, you must be rich.

HB8: I am. I'm a princess. I have my own island nation. trollface

TofuTofu: Oh yeah? What's it called?

HB8: Uh... The island of Nicole.

TofuTofu: Never heard of it.

HB8: Yeah, it's tiny.

TofuTofu: I bet I can guess your name. trollface

HB8: I'd hope so, I just told it to you.

TofuTofu: Michelle. trollface

HB8: Wow, you got it. trollface

TofuTofu: You're a snarky bitch, you know that? (Guys, make sure you're calibrated if you're gonna say something like this. And for godsake, say it with a smile)

At this point, her friends try to interrupt the set. I tried something I learned from that Tyler Durden video posted yesterday...

TofuTofu to HB8's friends: Hey, leave us alone. Jesus! We're trying to get to know each other here.

...pause for effect...

TofuTofu: smile I'm just playing. Hi, I'm TofuTofu. blahblahblah

Etc etc. At some point HB8 goes to greet some friends. As it turns out, it was her birthday.

I go back to Set #1 and try a horrible, horrible line that I immediately regretted saying... One of the hotter girls in the group had a crooked nose, just like me. I ask her if she broke her nose as a kid.

BOOM! Guys, don't ever use retarded negs like that. The girl freaked out and leaves the bar. Her friend asks me what I said to her. Do not ever, ever neg a girl about a physical characteristic that she cannot change. I send out my epic fail on the BayAreSeddit groupme and one of the guys sums it up perfectly... "Negs: Giving girls complexes since 2001."

SET #3

I recoil from my epic fail and head to the back of the bar. Jewiger and I notice two girls sitting down next to a bunch of guys. I sit down next to one of them and start talking about the social media marketing business (that's her focus in grad school). Jewiger moves in and plows through with her friend.

After about 10 minutes of conversation and light kino, my girl says, "Hey, I'm dating that guy over there and he looks really jealous right now. Do you mind?" I ask her if it makes her hot knowing her man is jealous, etc... She's into it but her friend is apparently uncomfortable with her boyfriend watching, so we excuse ourselves.

Pop Rocks

I go back to the front of the bar and I see HB8 talking to a bunch of tall bros. I move right in, alpha body posture, and say... "Hey birthday girl, I've got a present for you."

I show her a packet of pop rocks that Jewiger bought and gave to me. FUCKING GENIUS!! She gets all excited and I tell her "Open wide." She leans her head back and opens her mouth and I pour them in. Guys, the sexual energy in this moment was absolutely incredible, as you can imagine. What lovely imagery. Feel free to steal this idea, guys. Fuck yeah.

I then say to her "Walk outside with me so all your suitors don't have to see you give me your number."

She says, "Fuck them." Then grabs my phone from my hand and puts her number in.

God I love snarky hot chicks.

We leave the bar and head home celebrating an awesome night.