I've decided to document every night out, no matter how good or bad, so that I can look back on my progress over the coming months. Documenting allows me to better analyse and understand so that I can integrate what works and discard what doesn't to my inner game.

It's not written like a standard FR, mostly because I usually don't remember everything that happens. I do try to make it as readable as I can. All feedback on stuff I could have done better is very appreciated!

I wanted to try some swing lessons, so I went this place where they offer free trial classes. I get there and it's almost empty. I'm particularly high-energy that day, so no matter, I'm still going to have fun! I open the only other guy there. He tells me he has already taken the class and is just there because he wants to introduce swing to a girl friend of his.

The girl friend arrives (HB8) and the class begins. Because he's already taken the class, the guy proposes that I practice with the HB8 so we do so. At the end of the class, we decide to head to a swing lounge so that we can try our new dance moves! The guy receives some kind of emergency call and he needs to eject, but he proposes that I go with the HB8 (I learn later they barely know each other).

On the way there, we meet another swing dancer going to same place we are. I initiate the introductions. This guy is new in town and is essentially me before I found seddit. He's a young guy, taller than me and possibly better looking with a good education and a bright future in front of him.

We get there and the 3 of us sit at a table. Already, this guy is trying to display high-value by talking about his education and how tough engineering studies are, but in doing so, he's qualifying himself to us so I let him do his thing. I also happen to be an engineer so the urge is strong to mention it, but then I remember everything I've read about qualifying yourself to others: Don't do it!

She seems interested by his demonstration of HV, but I don't know if it's just politeness or genuine interest. In any case, it comes to a point where he mentions a company he's interning for. I use that opportunity to mention a funny story about me interviewing for that same company (really happened).

Of course, they ask me what I do, so I let them know, very casually, that I was an engineer. The story served 2 purposes:

  1. Never once, did I mention I was an engineer until I was asked. I answered because it was relevant to the story I was telling, not because I was trying to qualify myself to either of them, especially since this guy had been trying so hard all this time. Dropping it casually let them know it was no big deal for me, and that I didn't use it as an angle to interact with people.

  2. I was able to tell a funny and slightly inappropriate story, making both the guy and the HB8 laugh. And because it was slightly inappropriate, it let them know they could open to me, because I had opened to them first.

Here's a summary of some of the events that happened for the rest of the night:

  • I invited and was invited to dance with/by several girls there. It served to show I wasn't intimidated by new things even though I had never danced swing before.

  • I danced a good portion of the night with the HB8 even trying some new moves the other girls had taught me and even inventing/improvising my own. It served to show I was interesting enough so that other girls wanted to show me the stuff I didn't know.

  • I kino-ed every chance I got. At some point, I saw her trying some new moves with a guy there, so when she came back to sit, I high-fived her for being so brave. When she told me about what she did, I also high-fived her for trying to qualify herself to me.

  • I opened everyone there including guys, because opening random people gives me energy. It's like feeding a virtuous circle where every interaction you get gives you the energy to open even more people.

  • I tried to avoid all boring conversations about work/life/weather and instead focused on making fun jokes and teasing the HB8. At the end of the night, I did ask about her work, but because it was at the end of the night and I had built enough interest, the question did not seem forced, nor was it boring. It was genuine interest about me wanting to know what she did for a living. One of the most important thing Neil Strauss said (to me anyway): 'You can't hit on a girl until she's attracted to you.' The same applies here. Timing is everything.

  • I #-closed soon afterwards. She did not ask for my number (I like them to ask for mine, because that's an IOI). I sent her a text right away with my first name in the text and nothing else so she could have my number.

She sent me a text later with 'wrong number' immediately followed by 'kidding, BinmanPUA, noted!'

I replied with 'You do have a sense of humor after all! I had fun tonight!'

She replied with 'After all? I'll show you some after all! I had fun as well!'

I did not reply. I don't know if this was the best course of action. I tried to keep it simple and ended the conversation with her texting me. I was trying to tease her with my text and try to get her to qualify to me some more. I think it was moderately succesful.