OK this is the second half of Mission 17, from Friday night. The first part, "Unhappy Hours" was a tale of my attempts at a new venue, Happy Hour at a couple of bars I frequent. I was dejected after the results, and chastised for my negativity. What I don't think you guys in seddit give me credit for is working hard to get beyond my comfort zone. Don't forget I'm 52 years old and not in the greatest health, so when I head out into a freezing cold night with wet hair from showering before an online hookup (that flaked) it is easy to get frozen to the bone, overtaxed, and have my energy level drop below suitable levels. No wonder my state sucked.

But I rested and regained my composure later that evening. I decided to go back out to my usual place after that sorority private party broke up at 10. But I got a bit of a late start. I got there about 11PM.

I decided to dress up, same outfit as last week, black dress pants, red shirt, and my killer black cashmere jacket. It was cold so I added a white scarf, it looked quite fashionable. I decided I needed to give off a more sophisticated impression and ditch my 12 year old punky leather jacket. This was some advice from "Secrets of Dating Younger Women" by Dean Cortez, he suggests that you should be proud of your age and your obvious sophistication, younger women are attracted to that, and may even think you are out of their league. So you flaunt your advantages and differences, especially in a venue full of 22 year old AFCs.

So I get to the club and get immediate proof of this theory. I get a whisky from the bar (holding it below waist level, as suggested, it will make you look less defensive) and casually scope out the place. There are a few hot girls here. One group of guys has blocked out an inconvenient spot with the bar stools put in the middle of the main bar traffic zone. I circle around it and the are a 5 set with 4 guys and one girl. The guys are passing her around and she's sitting on their laps and playing all of them like chumps. I sidle up to the bar and set my drink down, immediately the girl approaches me. She must be only 21, she has a beautiful face but she's dressed dumpily in a wrinkled t shirt and jeans. She has an attitude, she's friendly, but she is totally wasted and her speech is slurred.

Girl: Hey now what is the deal here with you? You look like a perfesser or sumpin. What are you, a perfesser or sumpin?

[She's pressing right up against me so I grab her and pull our hips together at the side. Now watch me blow this set.]

Me: No, not a professor. Just an eccentric genius.

[Wrong move, I am qualifying myself to her. Well, maybe not, I am trying to be the older, sophisticated guy. I probably should have done the "I work at Taco Bell" routine. Or maybe role played, "Yes, and you are late for your tutorial. I ought to give you a spanking."]

Girl: Genius, eh? So whass your theory then?

Me: Theory? Sorry, my theories are too dangerous for the public.

Girl: Oh. [seems disappointed]

Me: So what's your theory?

The girl's face brightens up and she starts blabbing drunkenly here, throwing some random terms like "social political environment" and it appears she is trying to sound sophisticated but deliberately poking fun at it. It's hilarious. I put my hand to my chin and try to look like I am seriously hanging on her every word, and she's getting into it. She is hanging all over me and I am kinoing back. She gets so worked up she spins her head a bit and her eyeglasses go flying off her face, down onto the floor in the middle of the 4 set of guys she's been playing. She looks and one of them grabs it for her. Now watch me really blow this with a neg.

Me: Your looked much more intelligent when you were wearing your eyeglasses.

Girl: Oh that's OK, they've got them for me.

And she turns around and runs to grab her glasses. One of the guys grabs her and sets her on his lap. She tries to resist weakly. Oh well, end of that set, AMOGed. I am probably better off. Later, I see her scamming shots off some chumps.

Well that was really interesting. I think I am on the right track.

After this bit of social proof and preselection, I am being eyed by a group of hot women on my right. They are older than the college crowd, maybe late 20s through early 40s, extremely well dressed, this is my target demographic. But they are putting on their coats and getting ready to leave. Soon, they are out the door. Oh well. Time for a venue change myself, maybe I will see them later.

I head over to Tavern J again. I wander around, and watch the chumps on Death Row as usual. The shot girl cruises past them and teases them. I circulate around, and oddly enough, everywhere the shot girl went, I found some change on the floor. I go to tease the shot girl, "hey I've noticed, everywhere you've been, I keep finding loose change on the floor. I think guys are so anxious to give you money, they're dropping it right on the ground." The girl looks at me wide-eyed, smiles, and puts her hand on my arm. She is speechless, and she looks around her on the floor, ha. I walk off and leave her smiling at me, no sense in pestering her more while she's working. I've done something I never thought I could do, I stunned a hired gun. OK, I am getting pumped.

[continued]