Guys, I ran across something really wicked last night. Not once, but three separate times. More on that later...

First Bar, First Set

I was eating dinner with friends when a HB10, HB8, and one guy walks in and takes a seat at the table in front of me. I'm seated at the bar, stuffing my face while PU being the furthest thing from my mind. But then my inner critic double-dog dared me to give it a try.

I got the feeling that instead of acting right away, I wanted to see what would unfold. Shortly later, they are joined by two more guys and a RB6 (Regular Babe). Now they're matched up, but I didn't see any rings or any nonverbal cues suggesting that anybody was paired up. Very interesting. I knew that this set was going to be tough and I would need to make a low-impact approach. So I sat back and observed. I wanted to know which one was the AMOG. Judging from the first inspection of body language and how they were seated, the HB10 and HB8 were both talking to one guy, who I will call “Plaid”. Well, on the way to the bathroom, I walked by Plaid and gave him a friendly nod. He looked down towards the floor, and so I discovered the chink in his armor. He wasn't the AMOG, he just had a high level of perceived value. Then they all moved to the pool room. Now that they were getting cozy, it was time to make a move.

Later, the second guy who I will call “Shark” was holding a pool stick and walking towards the pool tables. I approach him a minute later and offered a game of pool. I racked and broke, and we made small talk as he swept the table with me. Metaphor? Perhaps. I asked him how long he had been playing pool for. Ten years. I asked him who his friends were, he only gave names and that they were “old friends”. No introduction. This is going to be one hell of a set.

So later on, I saw an acquaintance that I had met a couple weeks ago talking to Shark and the third guy, who I'll call “Gatekeeper”. I had already tried to key into the set once (using males as pivots to facilitate approaching), so I tried my hand at this again. So I approach my acquaintance, pat him on the shoulder, and shake his hand—AMOG like stuff. All the sudden, me and Gatekeeper ended up talking about hangover remedies. He claimed that the one can of coke was the ultimate hangover remedy. I argue his point, but later caught on to the fact that I was now qualifying him and jumping through his hoops. Well played, Gatekeeper. His message was now clear: If you want to approach these fine ladies, you'll have to go through me. Very subtle and intelligent. This guy was a natural and he was damn good at what he did. This time, experience had prevailed. I say my goodbyes and ejected.

Second Bar, Second Set

After a humbling experience, I found myself another bar chatting with my friends. Yet, my inner-critic reminded me: “You're not finished quite yet. You're a pussy If you don't approach any one of these three sets”. I just needed to come up with an approach plan. One girl, RB4, had just finished her rendition of “Carry On My Wayward Son” and I was genuinely impressed by the song selection. Bingo, I had my plan and I was off. Another tough set: two guys, HB7, HB8, and RB4. I took the path of least resistance. I sat down at the spare seat closest to RB4 and complimented her on her karaoke skills.

Then we started talking about the band Kansas a little bit. HB8 interjected and introduced herself to me. I gave her some CF treatment for interrupting me, then HB7 joined in on the action and asked “Why are you here? Are you trying to hit on my friend?”. I made another CF comment about her manners, then revealed my true intentions: “I came over to congratulate RB4 on some fine singing”. Turns out HB7 was the alpha-woman, and I had just disarmed her. So I commented on their negativity, and HB8 replied “well you're free to leave if you want to”. I turned and scooted out as if I was about to leave, then all three ladies started laughing. I was hooked into the set.

I decided to take HB7's seat, rewarding her aggressive behavior with some of my own. I looked over at RB4 and asked how they all know each other. HB7 was there with her fiancée who I will call “Beard”. HB8 was here with her boyfriend, “Niceguy”. There really wasn't anything for me here, but I stayed to see how it would play out.

Me and HB8 ended up in a conversation about Greek Mythology and we quizzed each other back and forth. Then I realized that I was running the Eruption Method on her. No, we were running it on each other. She knew how passionate I was about it and kept the topic going as long as possible. I had worked myself into a fine moral dilemma.

During this time, HB7 told me that she was seven months pregnant and ready to lactate all over me if I didn't give her seat back. I comment, “I don't even know you that well, that is a little too intimate for me.” Now I was teetering on the line between playfully aggressive and plain rude. I asked for a chair and Niceguy pulled one out and placed it right next to the seat I was in. I thanked him, then Beard turned to me and said in a low growl “I think you should move”. We locked eyes in the fashion that rams lock horns. I wasn't looking for a fight so I excused myself for a brief tactical withdrawl to help clear the air of the negative tension. I had a full beer waiting for me at my friend's table, so I check in with them to see how they're doing. They're having the time of their lives chatting with the two women at the next table over.

I return to the set and sit in my new seat and continue talking mythology with HB8. I was digging myself deeper. I knew she wanted me and that the relationship wasn't that solid, but she wasn't in a position to express that. Instead, I wanted to focus on extending my social network instead of trying to swipe Niceguy's girlfriend right from under his nose. I didn't become a PUA to shit on people's emotions. I excused myself to grab my phone.

When I return, HB8 had moved into my seat and Niceguy was occupying her old seat. So I had a good conversation with Niceguy and RB4 with the feeling that something wasn't quite right. I said my goodbyes afterwards and ejected.

It wasn't until later on that one of my friends pointed out that they were slowly pushing me out the set towards RB4, the only single one in the set. I had been dragged out to the front gate again. But dammit, it took all four of them to play Gatekeeper.

Second Bar, Third Set

Feeling amped up from the last set, I was ready for a more direct approach. My target was a blonde HB7 in a 4 set with a guy who looks just like Steve Tyler, his girlfriend, HB9, and RB6. I walk over and approached Steve Tyler directly and pitched my opener, “Hey guys, is this where the party's at?”. I had used this line at least twenty different times before with varying degrees of success, but this time I had nailed it. It was very congruent, almost like I was in a Zen-state.

HB7 had walked away seconds before my approach, but I didn't feel too committed to sarging her. I stuck around for a little fluff talk. Then, I saw something new about this group dynamic that I had failed to see in the subsequent sets. Steve Tyler was pawning me off on RB6. He was the Gatekeeper. But I had that feeling that I was about to have a Gregory House-style epiphany and I stuck around to see how it was going to play out.

HB6 started talking about her previous abusive relationship. At this point, I would have pattern interrupted towards a better topic, but I listened. I felt her sheer sincerity and directness radiate like sunshine. She had opened up and made herself absolutely vulnerable to me. Although I understood that I was being pawned off on her because I was perceived as a threat, I saw her as a human being—open and naked. There was a part of me that really admired this. But, I understood it was still game time.

Later she asked me to dance. If you didn't already know, I have two left feet. I hesitated and hung out on the sidelines. Then I went straight for the dance floor. She had made herself vulnerable to me. She deserved an opportunity to see me in a vulnerable situation too. Then we continue talking afterwards by the back door. She huddled close to me when it would open and let a cold draft in. I now knew what this was—mutual trust. So I gave her some sincerity in return. When the subject of dating and relationships came up, I told her that I wasn't ready for a committed relationship. I was relieved to find out that she shared the same sentiment. She then asked me if I had experience with older women. I nodded in affirmation.

However, the conversation was about to come to a screeching halt. I saw that my friends were about to leave and my time was limited. I got the #close and told her I'd text her sometime within the next few days.

Analysis

Since this one was so long-winded (lol), I'll make it quick.

What is a Gatekeeper? It's just a more subtle and intelligent AMOG. All social groups have at least one, or sometimes multiple people can collectively engage in this if the perceived threat is great enough.

How do you get past the gatekeeper? Think Greek (like the Trojan Horse). Come bearing gifts. You must have something to offer to the set in order for the gatekeeper to willingly let you in. You can do this through exhibiting DHV's or showing up with a pivot. Or you can find a niche role in the group and fulfill it, which is what I didn't do in the second set and what I did in the third. Or you can go in guns blazing and AMOG the Gatekeeper. Either use a distraction or use brute force.

The gatekeeper will only be as strong as the collective social power of the group. If the set is full of alpha men and HB10's (like in my first set), the gatekeeper will be strong.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's about time I give my fingers a break. Stay classy, Sedditors.