[FR] Talking to random guys at a party

grazzhoppa · 2010-08-22T11:51:30+00:00

College parties aren't the place to make "2nd dates" or short term friendships. People go to them to get free alcohol, make out, possibly have sex. The parties you described seem to be in this category. Possibly, the party scene may not be for the type of guy you're looking for.

That said, you shouldn't stop going. The more you go, the more likely you'll encounter someone who you're attracted to.

I don't feel like I used any PUA stuff other than just approaching people

That is 90% of the game. If you're really trying to get a particular guy and want to be more forthcoming, make a lot of light touching and eye contact while talking.

sensical · 2010-08-22T12:59:25+00:00

If you keep going out and keep trying to improve your mental state, you'll eventually get rid of the anxiety and start having fun.

ShamelessKarmaWhore · 2010-08-22T13:12:38+00:00

English student here (well recent graduate, but I still remember my first week), you seem to be on the right track by actually going and talking to people. What worked for me making friends at University was going out (even during the day) and just starting a conversation with someone along the lines of: 'hey, I don't really know anyone we should be friends'. Hopefully most people won't turn down the chance to make a new friend and while you are talking try and see if you have any plans that coincide, or even just try and make plans.

This probably won't help since our drinking age is 18 and our plans consisted of saying: 'pub?'

Also, just give those girls you were talking to for ages a ring and try to hang out. You have the number, why not use it?

anonymous_hero · 2010-08-22T20:21:57+00:00

If you're really a girl, it's enough for you to not be fat and/or ugly. Then you just sit back and wait for guys to approach you.

But, if you really are a girl, and you're approaching guys, I'd like to thank you on behalf of my gender - what you're doing is really great!

He mentions that he thinks Asian girls are cute, which may or may not have been an IOI.

Oh believe me, it was.

2010-08-22T13:17:00+00:00

If you're not just trolling, (which is a possibility, a girl should not be having this much trouble) then I guess your posts are admirable and you're making an effort. However, PUA material isn't meant to be used by women! Guys aren't out there giving shit tests or looking for alphas or judging value. They just want to get laid, and some are also looking for cool, laid back girlfriends.

The problem here is that you want to use tactics that were made for men to seduce women, and you want to use them to make casual friends with men and women. If you approached this with the entitled mindset of a girl (I'm a girl, I can get laid whenever I want, guys want to talk to me, etc.) you'd have a lot more success.

My advice is to go for direct approaches from now on. Just tell people that you don't know anyone, and they'll respond because they want to add you to their social circle.

Here is a great podcast by two PUAs about how to infiltrate existing social circles, or how to make your own group of friends. Here's the second part.

Sed_noob · 2010-08-23T14:14:06+00:00

Wow really? Props to you if you're for real. I've never had any Twese girls come up and hit on me in college. But yea I agree with everyone here, it's should be easier for girls especially if you go out, especially at keggers and such.

If you're looking to make friends, the easiest way is to join clubs on campus. First of all you guys would have at least one common interest so there's something to talking about instead of trying to open w/ various strangers just to find something in common. Having the same class is also easier than just attending some random parties. Go up to a someone attractive in class and say something like "oh man I haven't even study yet.. this mid-term is giong to be a killer... our professor is such a hardass... do you think this is going to be on exam.. blah blah blah.. So, my advice to you is to seek friends on campus. It's also possible you meet some guy at a party that you also see in class.

Cheers and goodluck

Weaponized_Dairy · 2010-08-22T16:19:48+00:00

This might sound sexist but girls don't need any of this pick-up artist stuff. If a girl isn't getting attention it probably means one thing: she's out of shape. And that's fairly easy to fix.

karmaval · 2010-08-22T11:40:48+00:00

Hm, assuming your story is real:

PUA is not intended to make friends.

Initially when reading your story and thinking you were looking for a pick-up, I was wondering why guys AND girls have to read up on PUA in order to get together. This seemed totally illogical.

I guess making friends is easier if you join an activity.

DrCE · 2010-08-22T18:50:06+00:00

The only thing worse than the awkward, absurd "field reports" posted by the guys on seddit are the ones posted by girls.

7oby · 2010-08-22T11:30:09+00:00

You should also consider setting up an OkCupid account, there's a subreddit for critiques at r/OkCupid and you can do well there. Good pictures and a good profile means that your barrel will fill with fish.

Title	[FR] Talking to random guys at a party
Author	seducingguys
Upvotes	7
Comments	17
Date	August 22, 2010 9:37 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/d41db/fr_talking_to_random_guys_at_a_party/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-talking-to-random-guys-at-a-party.1311446 https://theredarchive.com/post/1311446

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