Time for a field report. Background: I'm the EFC, Exceptionally Frustrated Chump, haven't had a serious LTGF for 15 years, now I'm 52 (although I look young enough that I tell people I'm 42). I live in a college town where almost everybody is 18-22 years old. I'm having a hard time finding anyone my age. I was fairly reclusive since I was taking care of a dying parent and barely left my house for years. Now I'm trying to re-emerge back into society, I don't really have any friends at all. I recently had a devastating relationship with a smart, beautiful, but emotionally unstable woman, I was so broken up I decided I'd better get serious about that PUA material I've been idly perusing for years, and learn how to deal with women on MY terms, not theirs.

I've been seriously going through some material, I especially focused on the RSD videos by Tyler and others. I watched a little bit of The Blueprint before I realized I better go back and do the fundamentals first. So I watched Tyler's Fundamentals (geez it's like 10 hours). Now I'm going through Transformations, I decided I like the RSD approach, I've read the classics from Style and Mystery and others, but they present a lot of canned routines that are getting to be so well known, I didn't want to get busted doing some opening routine that everybody's heard before. RSD tries to make you a natural. I'm not opposed to canned material, if it works. I think I'm mature enough, interesting enough, if I can just open some sets. I decided that for now, I should just focus on opening some sets and then ejecting, I'm not even expecting anything more, no kino, not trying to build attraction or create comfort, and I'm sure not going to try to close unless a girl basically falls into my lap.

So I studied and found some material to help with openings. Here's what I found in the RSD material and elsewhere.

The first thing is, you have to practice on women a lot. RSD says it takes hundreds of approaches (and hundreds of rejections) before you start to become a natural and can learn how women think and react, and how to work them. I was trying to avoid going into college bars, but they say you have to go where there are a lot of women to approach, so bars and clubs are the only places like that around here. So I have to go and I have to own the room, and not be the middle-aged AFC sitting in "death row" (the row in the bar where all the solitary men mill around, staring at the women they are afraid to approach).

RSD Transformations speaker Jeff did an awesome speech that helped me reframe. He said our anxieties are from social conditioning. So get out there and don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks. That's what holds us back, thinking everyone is looking at us and judging us. So we are judging ourselves, that screws us up. We have to be totally indifferent to a woman's reaction, and we have to be totally indifferent to our OWN reactions. That intrigues women. Most men are needy and seeking approval from the woman, they see it from AFCs all the time. But a woman can sense that you're unique when you are indifferent to her reaction. This way YOU control the game, she reacts to you, since she can't get you to react to her. So I decided to go out with a "fuck it all" attitude.

Also the RSD material talks about "fuckworthiness." If you can't get a woman to have "emotional spikes," then you're just not fuckworthy. A woman wants a man that can excite them emotionally. The material says "Men are like an on off switch, wants to fuck/doesn't want to fuck her. Women are like a volume dial that constantly moves up and down. Cause an emotional spike to turn up the dial, women respond to you when their emotions are high. Pump up her state and she is yours."

Then the final thing I kept in mind: approach anxiety is the signal to go into action NOW. Go for it. You can't sit around waiting to get up the courage, just do it, go within 3 seconds. So if you can just open and run around engaging some sets (even briefly) you're building social proof that helps open the next set. Better to have a lame opening and eject early than to sit around not opening at all.

So that's what I did. I went to some college bars, and tried to open a few sets without hesitation or stalling, and generally strut around like I owned the room, to build social proof. I thought I did pretty well. I accidentally stumbled upon a really awesome canned routine to open a set (I'm not going to share it until I work it to death). I opened a few mixed sets. One was particularly good, 1 guy with 3 HB8s. I engaged the guy with the opener, the girls were giggling and were anxious to get into the conversation. I kept ignoring them a bit, this made them even more anxious to interject. Then they tried a few simple shit tests, which I ignored, and did a little kino. OK, perfect, built some attraction, went further than I expected, but I can see this is going nowhere. Time to eject and continue to work the room. I opened a couple more sets, then left. I did this a couple of nights, and gained a little more confidence opening.

Another night, a Wednesday (yesterday) was kind of dull. Most bars were relatively empty or had almost no women: a sausage fest. Forget that. Then I stumbled across a really crowded bar, overflowing into the street. Time to go in. I decided to skip the canned material, it was not going to be hard to open when it's so packed, women are literally being shoved into your face. Ha. It wasn't hard to just be a natural. Sample: in line at the bar trying to get my first drink, it's crowded, HB8 is next to me. Opener: "Man it's crowded in here. Every other bar in town is dead. What is the deal here?" HB8: "Oh it's country night every wednesday. It's always packed!" Me: "Country? Oh no! (kino-hand on arm) They should have warned me!" HB8 [giggles]. After an opener I did a little chitchat and I was surprised at how engaged she was and happy to chat with me. Apparently it does not matter if I'm old enough to be their father, if I can emotionally spike them.

Now this place is really NOT my scene. I hate country music, and I especially hate mixing with a bunch of 20 year old redneck guys. But I have to engage the room. So I mixed it up, moving around the room. Sometimes I'd have trouble moving around, so I had to "ping" guys (tap on the shoulder) and get them to let me through. Stand tall, be the alpha, I'm coming through. Oh that was great. I used to be the AFC who waited until others let me pass. Now I am the Alpha, get out of my way. Age probably helps here. I occasionally used these passing interactions to chat with all-male sets and build social proof. With just a couple of strolls around the room, I own it.

It was hot, I found a cool spot under the only functioning air conditioning vent. A few girls would come up to it, feel the cool blast, and you could see them shiver and then smile, enjoying it. I opened a few of these girls, even the hot waitresses were hanging out around me and the cool air vent. If anyone saw these womens' reactions, they must have thought they were just in ecstasy even coming near me.

Then, I blew it. I saw an HB9 sitting alone in a booth. She was scowling, sitting there texting, there were 3 other half full beer glasses on her table. Obviously her friends abandoned her. She looked like she wasn't enjoying the scene at all. Then I noticed her glancing at me a couple of times, I think she was intrigued, watching me and the women near the air vent. I thought I should approach, but I totally froze. That was the problem: I thought instead of acting. I ran through a few approach methods in my head, and then I realized I'd frozen up, I already blew it, I should have just gone in with guns blazing. This was an opportunity just made for an opening, and I still had approach anxiety.

Oh well. Every failure is a learning experience. And I've been learning how to open, done pretty well at it too, up to a point. Opening the rare HB9 will come more easily with time. I am just learning how women work in these social situations, and it is surprisingly easier than I expected, now that I have some hours of training videos behind me. And hours more to watch!

Now here's the downside: I am not much of a drinker, I don't really go for the bar scene. Drinking is bad for my health, too many calories, and too expensive. I'd go out every night, but I'd go broke quickly. I'm trying to scope out the bar specials, but they are usually the scummy bars in town with scenes I usually avoid (like $1 PBRs during Cubs games.. yech, I hate PBR and baseball). But I have to practice opening sets, and these are the places where the women are. Hell, I live on the edge of town so I'm blowing more gas money than I expected, just getting into the bar district night after night.

So that's the end of my first FR. I have all the negatives I could possible handle: I'm too old for this crowd and don't fit in, I'm broke, I haven't got the trendiest clothes, etc. But I am tall and good looking, a good personality, I have the material behind me, and I can keep my state up and do a decent approach without tripping over my own two feet. That puts me ahead of 99.9% of the whole room full of AFCs. And now it's about 6:30 PM, time to shower and dress for another night on the town. I used to avoid this, now I can't wait to go out again, regardless of the results. The more mistakes I make, the more I learn. And it's going better than I expected, I'm not really making many mistakes. Maybe soon I'll even stumble into a close, even though I don't feel ready for it yet. That's in the RSD material too: "The more you get rejected, the more you get laid!" More approaches means more rejections, and a few successes too. So I am outta here, off on another mission for the evening. Now YOU should stop reading this, turn off your computer, and get out there too.