[FR] Where did I go wrong?

porphyry3 · 2011-09-25T16:29:37+00:00

I guess, you should disqualify yourself before inviting her home, especially if it is the first night. Like, "Let's have a drink/Let's see a movie at my place, and, no, we are not going to have sex. I am not that type of guy."

Also, did you try to build comfort before inviting her? You might have gone deep in seduction without building enough assurance that this wasn't going to be a one night stand.

Just my few cents. Oh, I too screwed up last week by inviting a girl home, without even making out. Have a look at the emotional progression model (mystery's method). It may give you interesting insights.

BM_BBR · 2011-09-25T17:26:13+00:00

Be happy you dodged a bullet, she sounds crazy.

choc_is_back · 2011-09-25T17:51:57+00:00

"Whoa there, I just asked because the drinks are free over there. You're thinking about sex way to soon here!"

SomeguyUK · 2011-09-25T23:11:56+00:00

She wanted it.She just didnt want to feel like a slut. You should have made out in some way that you didnt want to sleep with her, but given her some other excuse to go back to your place.

Anyway she sounds like a kinda messed up chick so dont beat yourself up.

frogma · 2011-09-25T18:15:52+00:00

I bet she wanted it. Despite what she said. Girls say stupid shit sometimes.
You need to give her plausible deniability. She already made it pretty clear that she didn't want you to just "invite her back to your place"- though like I said, girls say stupid shit sometimes. So you give her plausible deniability by inviting her back to "hang out" or "have some drinks" or "watch a movie." Make it clear that you aren't pushing for sex.
Once you've made it clear you're not pushing for sex, that's when she'll open up for you.

Though in this case, either way, she's a bitch for responding like that, and she knew exactly what she was doing. She probably didn't do it on purpose, but it's still shitty.

One thing though- she was leading you a lot. If you had taken more of a leadership role, you probably could've bypassed some of the bullshit.

theubernoob · 2011-09-25T18:47:23+00:00

Get over the number scale and get over the lingo. What you need to take away from this is you completely misread the situation. All the shit she told you should have pointed out that: 1, she likes to get down and 2, she is self conscious about appearing to be a slut. You went for a walk and made out and immediately asked her if she wanted to go back to your place, I don't know if you know this, but just because a girl kisses you doesn't mean she is going to sleep with you especially if she is self conscious about looking like a slut aaaannnnnnndddd you verbally ask her.

I'm impressed that you actually got her to make out with you and then even more impressed that you actually managed to fuck it up in the end.

Anyways, what you should have done. I won't go into anything before making out because whatever works works and there's a lot to cover, but hey, you got to making out some how and that is generally game over if you know what you're doing. How your thought process should have gone:

We're making out, sweet

I want to bang her

She doesn't want to seem like a slut even though she is

So I probably shouldn't make her feel like a slut

"So like insert personal question here"

If I just play this shit cool I got this

"Blah blah blah make joke laugh laugh laugh"

Now just to lean in and kiss her some more

Lets see what these hands can do

Ok, on the ass and shes cool with it

Gotta work the back

Start kissing the neck

Boob grab

Ok, all these things have been met with no resistance, where can we go to be alone

If you do meet some kind of resistance you gotta judge where she stands. Some times she just wants to talk more, some times she just isn't down for that on the first date or whatever. You just have to feel it out.

sillymallard · 2011-09-25T22:32:58+00:00

It seems like you followed her lead. I know, because I'm an AFC and did the same thing a few weeks ago and wasn't able to escalate. She also seems a bit nuts.

turtle_thunder · 2011-09-25T16:29:02+00:00

crazy bitches man....

2011-09-25T19:24:01+00:00

What could have got you the girl might have been to set up a day 2 instead of the pull. That may have been what she was hinting at with the whole "regrets the next morning".

Or just have her lead the whole way (since she was doing so anyway) and just enjoy the moment with no expectations/regrets (i.e not go for the pull or day2).

But these things happen, don't let it get you down. The issues were mostly on her side.

Fullonraping · 2011-09-26T01:28:10+00:00

She was testing you. You "had" the balls to straight out ask her if she is down to fuck... and so she tested your ass. She: "You gonna fuck me tonite?" You: fumbled. She: left. You should have: "Yeah slut you gonna get dick tonite!" And grab ass, make out, lead by hand towards your car/place.

To be honest you will probably not be able to pull this^ off just yet. So with the frame you've built you should have went with: "Hey dude you mentioned you liked: movie/video game/book/puppy/goldshlagger... I have some at my place lets go check it out." She could: "I am not going to sleep with you". You: "Nah you crazy, what kind of guy you take me for... I never put out on first date, we just going to chill." That's it buddy.

Lesson: If bitch is in heat you gotta be able to handle the heat if you want to get wet.

Title	[FR] Where did I go wrong?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	September 25, 2011 3:58 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kqwn8/fr_where_did_i_go_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-where-did-i-go-wrong.1322960 https://theredarchive.com/post/1322960

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