I thought I would write about shit tests. Specifically what they are and what it means if you pass/fail them and how it is very important that we reframe the word "Shit Test" to what they really are; "Frame Tests."

Now I'm sure every one of us has encountered many "Shit Tests" out there, because you know, you're out there getting those online dates, approaches, and social circle wins out there and making things happen; right?

But just in case, here's a reminder of the classic lines that try to throw off every other guy:

"You're too short for me."

"Do you say that to every girl?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Is that your pickup line?"

"You're too young/old for me."

\Guy asks a question "Why should I tell you, I don't know you?"*

"You we're doing so great"

etc. etc. etc.

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Before you read on, I wanted to add what u/recyclablebanthas said, because it's very important:

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1

People usually go about their daily life interacting with people and gravitating towards people they want to be around.

Most people don't exercise the direct awareness of their process for this.

They just act the way they act because of who they are and/or whatever their current emotional state is, and people filter one way or the other according to whether they want more of the interaction they're having or not.

These sorts of "tests" are often not deliberate. This small detail is important, because a lot of guys who are frustrated with social interactions often ascribe deliberate malice to things that are not deliberate.

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First, the reason I believe that "Frame" tests should be used instead of the old school wording and way of looking at them is because they are absolutely a good thing and in fact, you should be welcoming shit tests.

Why?

A girl will only challenge your frame IF you have broken into her world and have made a significant emotional impact on her.

She is trying to determine whether or not you are the "lover" or the "provider" type of guy

Regardless of whether or not you pass or fail a given shit test, IT SHOULD BE SEEN AS A POSITIVE on your end.

You have spiked up enough emotional relevance in her world in order for her to even give you a shit test, so.....

Just by the act of a girl giving you a "shit" or frame test shows that you are now emotionally relevant to her.

- The second reason why I believe we should change our thinking about "Shit" test to "Frame" test is because of the negative reactive state it induces when you hear "Shit".

Yes, she is challenging your frame, yes she is essentially giving you shit.

But that doesn't mean we are going to be emotionally reactive to her or what she is saying.

The biggest mistake guys make out there when given a "Shit Test" is to become emotionally reactive to the girl - and this is a trap that many wings I've seen and I, myself included, rapidly fall into.

The moment you get emotionally reactive to the girl, the moment you start losing attraction in her eyes.

Why is this?

A cool, composed guy who sees a lot of beautiful women on the regular is not going to be emotionally reactive to any given girl. He is going to be fun, playful, care-free, joking, and free from outcome.

The moment you get emotionally reactive to her, the moment that entire frame goes out the window.

Wording from "Shit" to "Frame" helps convey the test as a positive; something to be welcomed and not be emotionally reactive to.

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So what is she really doing when she is giving you a "Frame" Test?

As mentioned before she is trying to determine whether or not you are the "lover" or the "provider" type of guy.

Now being categorized as a "Lover" or as a "Provider" is not necessarily good or bad in the whole grand scheme of things.

You can get success from both being the "Lover" and the "Provider" frame.

It just depends on the context and it heavily depends on your style.

See; there's an even worse position than not being categorized as either a "lover" or "provider" and that is neutral.

A guy who is neutral is neither, yet is also neither emotionally relevant in her world. Being neither, you haven't even gotten on the girl's emotional radar yet. - which brings us back to the reason why "Frame Tests" are actually good - If she's testing you, you are becoming relevant in her world.

So Frame Tests should absolutely be welcomed.

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More on the "Lover" or "Provider" frames.

The "Lover" is a guy that she sees as a guy with very high sexual value - these are the typical guys you see getting girls left and right; and have a problem with commitment and sticking around. These are the guys that girls are constantly crying about and worried about. The ones that have 5 baby mamas and can't seem to return phone calls and text at reasonable times (So I hear).

In a weird dystopian world, this is the guy who she will get with in a one night stand with relatively quickly.

On the opposite end of the spectrum:

The "Provider" is the guy that she sees as a guy with high "comfort". And by definition, she is highly comfortable with this guy. This is the guy who will go out of his way and "provide" for the girl. This is the guy that she can go to when she has problems. Because he will take care of her; will it be financially, emotionally, you name it; this is the guy that will provide. He will even call her and/or make breakfast the next morning after screeching bedframes. He only has 1 baby mama, and he's here to stay.

In a weird dystopian world, this is the guy who she will raise the kids with, and he is also the guy who she will make wait to have sex with.

**** But before you judge girls on how shallow this categorizing system might be, when was the last time you've seen a guy call a girl a "slut" or "angel"? And no, I'm not talking about the last time you were screeching bed frames, I'm talking about just out and about in your regular life.

My point is, as guys, we have the same shallow categorizing system. If she acts/dresses a certain way, the average guy will categorize her into one of the two simple opposite categories.

We're all human. The Game is a Two Way Street.

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A side note: Whenever you ask a girl relationship advice, it's usually coming from the frame of the "Lover"

ie:

Guy: asks "How do guys become attractive to girls?"

Girl: *Pictures the "Lover" guy who has no problems with "value" and has somehow developed a magical disappearing act the next morning\*

Girl's Response: "I think guys should be nicer to us."

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So why are these two dichotomies important in "Frame Tests"?

It's because every time you pass or fail a shit test, she is closer to categorizing you as one of the two.

and depending on what frame test it was and if you passed/fail said test, she will have more information about what type of guy you are.

Now the classic frame test is the ones above, challenging on whether or not you are the "Lover"

ie

"You're too short for me."

"Do you say that to every girl?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Is that your pickup line?"

"You're too young/old for me."

\Guy asks a question "Why should I tell you, I don't know you?"*

"You we're doing so great"

BUT

A frame test can also be challenging on whether you are a "Provider"

ie

"Do you open doors for girls?"

"Do you pay for meals?"

Are you readily available whenever she wants?

I can think of many more tests, but these "Provider" tests are more subtle, and if passed, convey that you actually are actually that; a provider.

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Interestingly enough, if I asked you, what is a girl's ideal guy then based off of the information I just gave you?

Answer: A girl's ideal is actually a guy who embodies BOTH categories/qualities/frames.

ie:

The guy with very high sexual value; but against all odds, is actually willing to stay and provide for her.

You can get success from either frame of being a "lover" or "provider". Just know that the "lover" will get more "one offs" and the "provider" will get more LTRs. They are neither good nor bad in the grand scheme of things as long as you embody a little bit of BOTH. -

******HOWEVER* As we all probably know - Being extreme "provider" with little to no value in her eyes is VERY inefficient; and will result in being placed in a lot of "friendzones" - especially with younger girls -- But, being extreme "lover" will get you the opposite

The most important takeaway from this is that you can get success from both frames, it's just going to be faster and more frequent if you are seen as the "lover"

And as PUAs we try to lean more towards the "Lover" side. - That's why we strive to Pass frame tests. And by virtue of passing frame tests, we convey that we are the attractive high sexual value "lover" type of guy that she wants to sleep with

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Now on that end, how do you pass shit tests? Well I'll link a post from the old r/seduction archives that gives one way:

https://web.archive.org/web/20110720001717/http://www.reddit.com:80/r/seduction/comments/iq6nx/common_shit_tests_and_how_to_defuse_them

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If you can think of more; please say so in the comments.

Till then,

Cheers