Got flaked on twice this weekend. Pretty down about it

SlevinLe · 2021-09-27T08:42:53+00:00

She told me she wasn't looking for a hookup and I reassured her that I wasn't either and I'd want someone and something consistent

This was your first mistake, telling her you want something consistent. The proper response for this kind of situations is always "hey, let's have fun together and see where it goes".

I set up a date with her 6 days later

Second mistake, you don't set up the next date right on the spot. You want to wait and let her contact you, you want her to wonder about you. If she doesnt, after 3/4 days after the first date you call her to set up a date.

We agreed on watching a movie over my place (I still live with my parents but I have the basement to myself.

This was just a bad date idea, you cant talk while watching a movie, you cant create rapport, you are not looking at each other. You should meet her out for at least the first few dates, get a few drinks and do something light and fun. The date you proposed sounds like a bf/gf stuff, which is obviously what you are looking for. You scared her because you went too fast. And if you live with your parents, dont invite her at your place untill she is officially your girlfriend.

A couple hours before the date, she says she's been exposed to a patient with covid and needs to get tested. Which is understandable. She said can we reschedule for tomorrow? And I told her that's cool

How can she reschedule for tomorrow if she doesnt even know if she is positive or not yet? This was an announced flake for the reasons I explained earlier.

The following day. I sent her a text saying "I'll see you at 3"

Dont confirm dates, its just a way you give the girls to flake on you.

Fast forward to 3. No reply or no show. I sent her a message around 3:30 "Hey are we still on for today". No reply.

You dont do this either, I know you think you should do something but the best thing you can do in this situation (that you created) is go on with your life and ignore her. Do nothing.

She was rude yes, but you fucked up first. If she is still interested, she might contact you in the next weeks, If she does, set up a date. DONT and I repeat DONT be a butthurt because she flaked on you. Just tell her in a gentle and firm way she was rude and you dont tolerate this kind of behavior.

If she doesnt contact you, act like she is dead to you. She wasnt that interested anyway.

Good luck man

TheSunshineMan · 2021-09-27T01:32:55+00:00

Too early to tell..

I wouldn't message her again.. for at least 48 hours.

See what she does..

Electronic_News_8247 · 2021-09-27T09:48:15+00:00

Spin more plates

Dazzling-Being245 · 2021-09-27T01:32:57+00:00

She’s ghosting you but she’s a coward and won’t tell you she’s not interested. You probably didn’t do anything wrong, that’s modern women though. She’ll probably text you when some douchebag uses her, just ignore it and keep grinding. Don’t let it get you down brother.

ugglygirl · 2021-09-27T01:24:13+00:00

That sucks. Plus, it’s super rude. Even if she apologizes, do not set another date. Wait and see if she does before moving forward. Don’t reach out.

SpiritDragon · 2021-09-27T02:39:48+00:00

I've learned to not make too many assumptions in these situations, but that is kind of strange.

Since you are both on iPhones, does she have that thing enabled where you can see if messages are seen/read by the other person? If so, it might be worth to just shoot a small "Hey, you okay?" type thing (acting as if the assumption is she may have had a car accident or something) but that'd be it. No chasing after her, or anything of that nature. If it shows she's seen it but still no reply then yeah, she's a ghost and might as well delete the number.

If she does reply, great, it sounds more like genuine concern (yay for being concerned about a fellow human being) than insecurely chasing after her. No real loss as I see it. Still, be weary of her pulling any shit in the future. Fool me once/twice and all that.

The only other situation I can think of would be her phone broke and she needs to get it replaced. If that's the case then it is literally impossible to contact you back (and if she needed the GPS for directions then she couldn't have made it to the date location either to tell you in person). It's unlikely, but shit happens at the worst of times. If that is the case, I'd expect to hear back from her within the next couple days when she gets a chance to have it replaced.

Either way, no reason to not keep looking for the next girl in the mean time. What's the worst she can do do? Get mad that you thought she ghosted you and actually ghost you? That's the default course of action at this point so zero threat potential.

OpinionatedIMO · 2021-09-27T01:55:26+00:00

I don’t know about where you live but here, the cell service is unreliable and if you happen to have a different type or phone than her (you have an iPhone and she has an android) it’s not unusual for messages to not go through. (Both ways). You are depending on the reliability of your network to decide if you message went through. For all you know, she relied and you didn’t get her message saying she had an emergency come up or something. Is calling her out of the question? I can’t tell you how many missed message misunderstandings I’ve had via texts.

dalen52 · 2021-09-27T11:08:15+00:00

She’s lost or is losing interest. Just be patient and eventually she will see you were the better match. Hopefully by then you’ll move on.

Canadian-Seductioner · 2021-09-27T12:21:18+00:00

Off topic: Honestly, the covid excuse is so convenient that at this point, it's much more likely a lie than a real excuse. If a girl brings up needing to get tested for covid, I just take it as an obvious sign of flaking and forget about her because every time a girl has used that excuse on me, she has always either flaked or ghosted afterwards.

On topic: Girls want to avoid any kind of confrontation (rightfully so, there are lots of creeps and fucked up guys out there) so they will make excuses, continue to string you along, and delay rejecting you until the absolute last possible moment. And even when they do reject you, it's always done indirectly such as through flaking or ghosting.

The key is to understand this and not let it get to you. Have lots of other options available so you can easily forget about her. Start learning to recognize the signs of disinterest from a girl and move on quickly when you see them. Doesn't matter how great of an interaction or first date you had with her, things can change so quickly in a girl's head. Best to not get your feelings involved until you make it to the 3rd date.

ProfessorZoom80 · 2021-09-28T06:35:09+00:00

Dont use dating apps.

Title	Got flaked on twice this weekend. Pretty down about it
Author	ColdBeing
Upvotes	7
Comments	40
Date	September 27, 2021 1:19 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pw6q3n/got_flaked_on_twice_this_weekend_pretty_down/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/got-flaked-on-twice-this-weekend-pretty-down-about.1275453 https://theredarchive.com/post/1275453

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