Having an empty mind/ saying whatever is on your mind?

Brannus · 2013-02-07T02:20:06+00:00

I've not read Tolle. He is on my list of book to read, but I'll take a stab at this.

Normally when people talk about having an empty mind, they do not mean you are brainless. You're not thinking about NOTHING. You just not adding anything to make you lose focus with whatever is going on right in front of you. So instead of getting wrapped up into YOUR thoughts and about YOU, you are actually listening to the other person.

Most people can tell almost immediately when you have ulterior motives or when someone is not actually listening to them (many people call it being present with someone). You probably have met at least one person in your life that you can say just wasn't really listening to you. They were off some where else and you probably felt unappreciated. So it really helps with creating comfort but also trust with the people you interact with.

In addition, this concept of empty mind is more directed towards you not over thinking a situation and/or trying to think 5 moves ahead (and not being present for what they are saying right now). It gets you out of your head. It gets you to a state where you're not feeling anxious because you are afraid of what may happen in the future. It also allows you to let go of something when it happens.

So you're talking up a girl and you think everything is going great. However, she says she is going to get a drink and you never see her again. Instead of going "Was it something I said? Will she be back? Did I do something wrong?", you are going "Hey she is not here right now. I'm going to talk to my buddy again or intermingle with another group.".

It's the fundamental change from worrying about things that (while may matter to you) may or may not be actually present for you. She may have left because you messed up and boring. Or she left for a drink and met up with a friend she hasn't seen in years. Either way, YOU DON'T KNOW! However, you're not fazed by it.

I hope this answers what you are asking. I feel as though I did go a little off topic. However, normally this is a very simple concept that has complex ramifications attached to it (at least in my opinion). So these are just my way of thinking about this concept.

TL;DR: It's not about not thinking at all. It's about stop extraneous thinking which only gets you in your way of being fully present with someone (fully listening to someone). It's meant for you to see what is actually in front of you and not thinking about the coulds, shoulds, and woulds.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-02-07T01:11:04+00:00

"say whatever is on your mind, no mater what it is, even if it's 'you have nice tits' "

Yes, psychiatrists have a term for that sort of condition: psychotic. In this state, people have no ability to stop themselves from expressing every inner thought, no matter how hostile or inane.

BeatBoxing_Abe · 2013-02-07T02:18:04+00:00

This is something your just gonna have to figure out on your own. Its very subjective. No matter how well I describe my state of mind, you will never actually be able to emulate it down to a T.

The fact that you know about the idea of an empty mind is a good start. So start trying different things in your conversations and find out what works best for you. Whatever produces the best, most authentic results for you is all that matters.

InfiniteBlink · 2013-02-07T02:39:45+00:00

To me it's saying whatever is on your mind no matter how whimsical, BUT you do have to have a modicum of a filter as narrow as it may be. calibration is an often repeated term and it very much applies. Try not to filter yourself but be aware of the social context. If you aren't aware of where the line is, test it, you'll figure it out.

puaCurveBall · 2013-02-07T06:08:17+00:00

Having an empty mind is about being present, without thinking about the past or the future.

Thinking about the present, or thinking as you are talking is fine.

nittutt · 2013-02-07T09:49:41+00:00

It's more about being unfiltered. Tolle is saying focus on the present, which mean you can think, but not about the future / past.

Example: You can let your mind think that a girl is hot, but if you don't act on your thought it remains a thought and that's not good. If you say it, however, your thought became your action.

Thoughts like "should i" are focused on the future. Thinking in the way that you describe it now is more about processing than anything else.

I hope i explained myself somewhat understandably.

well_clearly · 2013-02-07T23:04:02+00:00

When I played baseball they always told us you shouldn't be thinking at all while you're hitting. A clear mind helps you not over think things and rely on your preparation for success. You might fuck up but hey, you are much better prepared with a clear mind

ManiacApple · 2013-02-07T01:39:38+00:00

bump

DevonAero · 2013-02-07T01:00:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Having an empty mind/ saying whatever is on your mind?
Author	ManiacApple
Upvotes	13
Comments	17
Date	February 7, 2013 12:02 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1815rr/having_an_empty_mind_saying_whatever_is_on_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/having-an-empty-mind-saying-whatever-is-on-your.1347054 https://theredarchive.com/post/1347054

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