I’m (M28) dating a girl (F28) for about 2 months. She’s playful, warm, and I can tell there’s mutual attraction. Things were going well until we started talking about exes. I mentioned how my ex of 8 years cheated on me. After that, her texting slowed down and she stopped initiating conversations. This phase lasted about a month.

Then she texted me saying she thinks we should “just be friends.” I reassured her that I’m over my ex and just wanted to be honest with her, but she said she’s “too old to deal with other people’s baggage” (her words). She also said it’s okay if I’m not willing to just be friends. Initially, I tried to continue reassuring her and suggested we keep exploring things, but I got the sense she had already made up her mind, so I accepted it.

Interestingly, on the same day she asked me for lunch — something we’ve done a few times before since our offices are close. During the lunch, her behavior was almost identical to how it was before our “serious talk.” She even suggested playing the hand game “chopsticks” while we were waiting for our coffee, apparently to keep herself awake. Then, about two hours after we returned to our offices, she texted me saying she spilled milk on her hand and made a self-deprecating joke about it - which seems a little attention seeking?

I’m confused because her words suggest she wants to just be friends, but her actions — playful, comfortable, and seeking small interactions — seem to indicate she still enjoys spending time with me and feels some connection.

Why her words and actions don’t seem to align? Could she still be interested, or is this just her way of being friendly?

Female perspective is very much appreiciated!!