How do I use this?

Improveandshit · 2012-06-25T17:31:17+00:00

I'm pretty much like you, just 2 years younger... I can tell you, it doesn't fucking help if girls approach you. It just doesn't change a fucking thing. You have to work through this issue in other ways, not learn any tricks, not learn how you can be sure and not learn how you can get girls approach you... Work through social awkwardness and depression. Go see a psychologist or a counselor or something. But they will pretty much tell you all the same things as we call "inner game" here and perhaps put you on some antidepressants which can help you get back on your feet, thats what happened to me atleast.

For years and years, for all my life I thought I was somehow broken socially and could never have a girlfriend. Even though I was approached by some girls I could've liked, I turned them down just because I was too scared. But now I know nothing is really wrong with me, I just happened to start playing Gameboy original when I was 2 years old... And last week I did my first 2 approaches ever:), just casual chatter for a couple of minutes and it was drunk, but its all about small steps!

sonofabear17 · 2012-06-25T16:36:07+00:00

Man up and talk to em, everyone thinks that rejection is a bad thing but it really isn't. In fact, having a chick rip your heart out and soul fuck you is the best thing that can happen. After you've felt the pain of rejection you realize that you can get over it. And it's not that bad. So really you have nothing to lose when talking to girls. And why should you be intimidated, what makes any girl so special? You shouldn't have to prove anything to any girl. You are the prize not her. Just talk to them, I know it seems scary but the worst thing that can happen is they reject you and then you just get better. And with a body like yours you should have panties drippin dude. I guarantee that it's easier than you think.

coyotelime · 2012-06-25T17:09:51+00:00

Think about it this way - by approaching a girl at a bar/club/party/the pet store, you are already showing more confidence than all the others guys in the room who didn't have the balls to go up and talk to her, REGARDLESS of outcome.

And like others have said, worse case scenario you get rejected and never see her again (granted you're not trying to ask out a good friend, in that case take special considerations). What have you got to lose? Nothing.

Do remember to assume attraction until proven otherwise, and try your best to read your target while you're talking to her. Unless there are horrific signs, just go for it.

You've been "Working out restlessly for the last 4 years straight". Now man the fuck up out of the gym and approach some women.

Good luck!

Edit: This mindset requires a lot of confidence in yourself, so make sure you work on that also. Start with a DGAF attitude and forget all the "24 YO kissless virgin" BS. And oh, don't ever tell a girl that.

Hyatt03 · 2012-06-25T16:31:50+00:00

I'll just leave this here...

themanbat · 2012-06-25T18:24:29+00:00

I don't think you really need it spelled out like this, but I'll spell it out anyway, because it can be a confidence builder to go over the basics.

When you see the signs that a girl likes you, invite her someplace where you can be alone and talk. It can be a restaurant, a movie at her place, even a walk in the park where you end up sitting on a park bench together.

You want to sit next to her asap. Even in the restaurant. Just ask, "Hey, mind if i sit next to you? It's kind of loud in here." Or joke about it and say, "I don't want you to have to reach all the way across the table to slap me." Most girls will never have had a guy sit next to them on a first date, and they'll like it. Even if things don't go anywhere, it makes things less like an awkward job interview.

Start physical contact with her as soon as possible. Start with knees. Put your leg/knee against hers. Bump your shoulder gently into hers. If she moves away immediately she want to get physical right now. If she doesn't move it, that means she likes you and wants more touching. Just because she moves away 5 minutes into the date, doesn't mean you she will 10 or 15 minutes in. So don't be afraid to keep trying. Then you can move on by touching her hands. If she has a ring on say, "Ooh, can I see your ring?" Don't wait for her to say yes just reach for her hand. Say, "I like that," or "Very pretty," and caress her fingers for a moment before returning her hand to her. Or ask her where she got it. If she's wearing it, she'll love to talk about it.

Now put your arm around her. I find it's a bit awkward to do it in restaurants sometimes, so after lunch or dinner, ask her if she wants to walk and talk in the park, or mall or wherever. Someplace with couches or benches and not a lot of people. Walk, talk, then sit and put your arm around her. Just slide it casually along the top of the bench while leaning in to talk or listen to her. Then it's just an inch or two more and you've got it around her shoulder. You'll be able to tell right away if she likes it, and if she agreed to walk with you after the meal, she definitely wants you to put your arm around her. Talk more. When she makes a joke, laugh and give her a little hug with the arm you have around her. If she leans forward to get her purse or adjust something, casually but confidently run you hand/fingers high across her back. Everybody loves back rubs. If she's really in the mood for one she might stay leaned forward and make pleased noises. This means you should get to work. Both hands!

Get your arm around her again. At a couple of points in the conversation you lean in real closely to tell her something quietly, and then lean back again. This teases her and makes her think about kissing. As you continue to talk look at her eyes, then her lips. Then her eyes and then her lips. And think about kissing her. Imagine yourself doing it and how awesome it's going to be.

Then you lean in. She'll lean too. Keep the arm that's holding her, around her. The other hand bring it up and place it gently (but firmly) behind her Head/neck. Maybe gently brush the hair out off her face to clear the way for the kiss if it feels natural. You might hesitate for just an extra second when you're baerly hovering above ground zero. Then kiss her. If your worried about technique don't be. You're a natural. But just in case: Gently at first, but then a little firmer. "Peaches," and "plums" to start, but no "alfalfa" unless she starts it. Don't be afraid to make a very low quiet satisfied "MMMMMMMMM" sound. Ladies love the idea that their kisses are delicious. If the kissing lasts longer than 30 seconds (and it will) move your free hand around a bit. Lightly caress the side of her neck. Run your fingers gently along her collar bone. Slide it from her neck down her arm (to avoid the appearance of trying to grab some boob way too soon) but then slide it along her waist and hip Keep it clear of "danger zones" of course, but don't be afraid to caress and pull her in closer. Counter-intuitively, great kisses are generally established with good arm work, and relatively simple lip movement.

If by some miracle she actually doesn't want a kiss (maybe she has the never kiss on the first date rule firmly engrained) she'll just turn her head. If she does that just laugh a little, apologize and compliment her. Something like, "Haha, sorry, you've just got such nice lips. I wasn't thinking." Then talk for another five minutes or so and then try to kiss her again. If she turns her head again, apologize jokingly again and say you need to walk around a bit to cool off. Then take her home or back to her car or where ever. It may just mean she wants to wait for the 2nd or 3rd date, so don't give up yet if you really want her. Just ask her out again.

If for some reason the moment doesn't arrive sitting down, (say the park or mall was too crowded and the screaming kids were not conducive to the mood) just lay one on her a little later. When you walk her to her car or apartment or wherever. She'll have been disappointed that she didn't get kissed on the bench, and the end of date kiss will be a pleasant surprise/relief for her.

Internet dating isn't necessarily a bad place to start. Use a paid site though, because it proves they are serious about meeting someone. If a girl has gone to the trouble of paying money to contact you, and responded to your messages, and met you somewhere, she's often even more lonely and horny than you are, so go in for that kiss.

phallic_audio · 2012-06-25T16:36:12+00:00

all of us here in this sub writing reports and posting has been to where you are exactly. In that light, you need to make sure you hammer these ideas in your head.

-no tricks.

-do the grind.

-rejection does not kill you.

themanbat · 2012-06-25T18:40:37+00:00

Most girls that are worth having will not approach. They want to to be pursued and feel desirable. Look deep inside of you. You are a wolf on the prowl. You do not want to be fed like a pussycat. Go pursue.

eXXaXion · 2012-06-25T19:53:42+00:00

Dude

If you're at the gym, and you can't get one more rep, do you go home dissapointed?

You KNOW that not getting that rep or hitting that weight is fine, because you're not going to stop until you get it. Remember when you were first starting at the gym and you were probably discouraged a bit?

Pickup is like the gym. A girl rejecting is like not hitting your max or getting that last rep. It's not failure. It's one step on an INFINITE endless road that only goes upwards.

ir-1 · 2012-06-26T00:56:28+00:00

First of all, I'm not the specialist around here but I'm learning and getting better. I am above average looking, but I was very picky with girls. I thought. I had always excuses for girls and the the girls I liked seemed out of range. So where am I going? Yeah, I talk a lot more with both of them girls. The ones that normally didn't get my attention or my approval, because she didn't liked the same music,is too "slutty" or <insert bullshit reason> and the ones I think that are out of my league. The thing is, I don't care any more. I don't need them, and I don't want to impress them or entertain them. I want to entertain myself and they have to impress me. Okay, she's hot but is that all she got? I talk to woman so much more just to talk. I talk shit, real shit. I approach a woman and asks how she folds or rolls her toilet paper if she's taking a shit. Just to laugh at the look of her face because I don't care what she finds about me. Boys, just wanna have fun (Not only girls.) And yeah, women take shits too, you know. You don't need the girls, they need you. Girls need boys too. So, don't give a fuck and talk, and enjoy. Talk like you want/don't care if you're getting rejected, because you don't. She stinks (poops too).

Whatever, I'm going to the bathroom.

2012-06-26T01:41:46+00:00

Join /r/nofap

Auzie · 2012-06-26T02:52:32+00:00

This thread is funny

Title	How do I use this?
Author	eXXaXion
Upvotes	14
Comments	53
Date	June 25, 2012 4:13 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vksdm/how_do_i_use_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-use-this.1334657 https://theredarchive.com/post/1334657

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