How do you avoid the girl getting the impression you're way above her level and the only thing you can possibly be interested with her is quick sex?

Kancho_Ninja · 2010-10-26T22:38:35+00:00

Tiger Woods never screws around with anyone that makes over $8/hr and he gets laid all the time.

intjpua · 2010-10-26T21:58:00+00:00

Go after hotter girls. Hot girls are not intimidated by fancy jobs or wealth. In fact, they're probably used to dating guys with more of both than you have.

cheddarchexmix · 2010-10-26T23:31:19+00:00

You're not losing girls because they think you're too smart, you're losing them because of not attracting them properly. Talking early on about your job title could itself be a turnoff. I usually don't get into what I do until way late in at least the first date if ever, there are many other things you can talk about with women to build attraction.

AngryAcronym · 2010-10-26T22:21:59+00:00

I've never heard of women bowing out of talking to a guy they were too impressed with. Would you bow out of a conversation with a famous actress?

It may have seemed like they are intimidated by your intelligence, but honestly, you were probably just boring, disengaged emotionally, and the impression they got was of an aloof, social reject.

Hope this isn't too harsh, I'm not trying to troll you or hurt your feelings.

learningmygame · 2010-10-27T04:39:11+00:00

Are you sure it's them feeling dumb, or are you coming off like a prick? There's a fine line between confidence and egomania, trust me, I struggle with it daily. People with our type of jobs are generally successful because of our confidence in our intelligence and professional abilities. As a side affect, that mindset tends to pervade all of our social interactions. One thing to remember: no job is THAT intimidating, especially if they've only known you a few minutes. It's all about how you introduce it.

On the off chance that you actually are intimidating them and not just being a blowhard, then you're not surrounding yourself with the right people. There are women out there that are smarter/more impressive than you, so go find them.

philosarapter · 2010-10-27T13:52:26+00:00

I've posted this elsewhere so forgive me that I am repeating:

Leave girls an opening. With men like you and I, its very easy to intimidate women. I've found that much of my failures were not that I wasn't interesting enough, it was that I was too interesting and they felt like they couldn't compete or that I wouldn't be interested in them.

Tell her some embarassing stories of yourself, trigger her nurturing instinct in some way. Tell her you are completely useless when it comes to cooking, "It took me 20minutes to figure out how to boil water, apparently you need a pan."

People want to feel wanted, and even more they want to feel needed. If you are a complete boss and don't need anything done for you, women will shy off because they feel like they have nothing to offer [except for sex]. I've found it even helps to ask them for favors. They see it as "this powerful successful man needs MY help! omg. this is my chance!"

ThrowawayPUA · 2010-10-27T05:03:13+00:00

Bring them into your world and show them they can be a part of it, without being intimidated. And don't push your "advantages" in girls' faces. Part of the theory of DHVs is that you don't go push your higher status at a woman, it comes out obliquely so it doesn't seem like boasting and become a turnoff.

Pryde · 2010-10-26T22:02:33+00:00

Stop hanging out at the local high school?

Atheizt · 2010-10-27T04:24:16+00:00

I wouldn't say you need to hide what you do but at the same time you don't need to be dropping it early in conversation.

If you are doing this, theres a good chance the reason they lose interest is because you're trying too hard.

As an exaggeration, imagine a woman approaching you and opening with "Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm world famous modern architect" you'd roll your eyes and eject, right?

While I'm sure nobody would actually do that in real life, you may be doing similar - albeit more realistic :p

I tend to leave my occupation out of the conversation completely and the only way I'll even mention what I do is if they ask or if they start talking about what they do and I want to maintain the push-pull. Provided she has a sense of humour I'll sometimes make up a stupid occupation and make a game out of it.

If you're got your priorities right, regardless of whether you're looking for an easy lay or a LTR, you shouldn't be trying to use you job to build attraction. Others may disagree but thats my personal opinion on the subject.

I want her to be attracted to me. To my confidence, personality, social ability and to a lesser extent, my looks. Material possessions and career should have nothing to do with it.

getyourshineon · 2010-10-27T06:29:34+00:00

From personal experience, I think that guys in your position (high-status guys) do tend to give off the impression that they're only interested in sex, because it's what they usually get. But a woman doesn't walk away from a high-status guy if she believes he's truly attracted to her (but we are afraid of being rejected just as much as you are). Just try to be genuine and don't be quite so subtle about your interest. If she knows you want to get to know her, and you're as high-status as you claim, she will not run away.

philosarapter · 2010-10-27T01:35:58+00:00

Show them faults, fake it if you need to. Take them bowling and throw a few gutter balls. Misspell words when talking over text. Tell a story that shows you making a dumb move. You could hunch over a little to not be as intimidating. Don't take it too far just enough to make them feel more comfortable. Drinks at a bar should help too.

failsmath · 2010-10-26T22:53:03+00:00

Are you sure it is really the same game that is working on the other women? Is it possible because inside yourself you think 'I want this girl' that your outward behavior is actually changing due to this? I find I do this to myself sometimes. If I really like a girl's personality, I will fuck up even if she is an HB6 or something. I seem to do better with girls who would generally be considered better looking than the (theoretical) 'interesting' HB6 if I don't find them interesting. Don't get me wrong, I am still learning and seem to fuck it up as soon as I decide 'I want her' with any of them....so maybe this is the problem for you as well.

Edit: changed some confusing wording

2010-10-27T12:44:42+00:00

Why the hell do you want to do that?

Their embarassment plays to your advantage. If they feel they're being boring and dumb they will strive to validate themselves... and that's the field you want to be playing in.

throwawayrarst · 2010-10-27T12:59:13+00:00

IMO the biggest thing you can do is be interested in what she does. If you talk with her about her interests, dreams, goals, etc. with the same passion that you have about yours then you will be set.

Kancho_Ninja · 2010-10-27T13:49:10+00:00

A relevant example, I hope.

A friend of mine was out dancing last week and was approached by an older sugar daddy that was fun to dance with but was making creepy comments like "let's fly to Vegas tonight. I have a private suite at such-and-such, blah blah blah"

She finally told him something like "I'm an RN, my house is paid, my car is paid, and I have plenty of money in the bank. I'm not a whore, so quit trying to buy me. "

MuchMouthen · 2010-10-27T19:04:22+00:00

I have what is considered a fairly interesting life, a job title that puts me in the "smart" category in peoples minds and the biggest problem I have recently is that girls, when they discover that, become embarrassed about their lifestyles and blow themselves out of the interaction.

I seriously doubt this is what is really going on. Even if I was an MD or billionaire tycoon (or whatever), I wouldn't give a girl an honest answer to the "what do you do" question immediately. I think it's a test to see if you will take her lead, and if you answer it, you are just taking the bait. When it does work, it only attracts the girls who want to be with you for the wrong reason (i.e. golddiggers). When you need to put it out there right away, it comes across as needy, like you can't wait to tell them. If you make up something silly instead, it will have a LOT more impact later on when she finds out that you have such a cool life.

It's hard to not share when you have a lot going for you, but it's also a sign of weakness. Stop selling what you do, and spend your time and effort on being funny and interesting, and then when she does find out that you're a superstar, she will be that much more turned on when she realizes you didn't need to tell her your life story the second she meets you.

Bouncers and bartenders get laid a LOT more than physicists. Talking about work is boring to women, and it is just a way of saying "I'm the same guy who talks at you every time you go out to a bar and tries to impress you, blah blah blah". If you are the guy who doesn't take the bait (even better, go the opposite way - "I work at Wal-Mart. I'm the employee of the month right now. It's totally badass."), you will stand out. That's important. Warm up to that shit. She doesn't care. (yet)

I am even at a point when I call a girl out as boring if she wants to talk about her own job too quickly - as if she never stops working and has no social life.

monkmonkmonk · 2010-10-27T14:45:59+00:00

This is what you want to happen you dumb fucking troll. Eliminates all but the finest bitches.

Of course, I know you're typing this from your parent's basement with a three day old neckbeard, so fuck off.

Comments