How do you distinguish the difference between love bombing and putting in effort?

PlayaNoir · 2025-07-31T03:58:21+00:00

Women that are into you make it easy for you. No need to love bomb or "put in effort". All that is required is for you to be a man with a purpose.

LimbBisquet · 2025-07-31T09:14:03+00:00

You guys really need to learn to play the game. It’s a mating dance. You can’t express too much interest too early on. Way too many men want to jump from a dating app match into a relationship right away. Slow down. Chill. If you are too horny, go jerk off before you respond to a girl.

The rule of thumb is to never want it more than she wants it. Match her interest level and emotional investment and then dial it down just a bit from that. This will ensure that she is the one chasing you and not the other way around. If you want it more than her, if you are too excited and she isn’t, you are chasing her and you have already lost.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-07-31T06:45:06+00:00

If the effort feels equal between you, that's a healthy level of effort.

If you're putting in 60% of the effort and she puts in 40%, that's probably fine too. But the bigger the gap the more problematic it becomes.

I'm not going to put a precise figure, but let's just put it this way; if you're putting in significantly more effort than she is - especially early on when you're dating - you're probably love bombing.

For example, you are always the one to text first, you're always writing wayyy more in each text. You reply wayyy faster than her. You double or triple text - but she never does. You're giving her compliments all the time and she never gives you a compliment back. You tell her you love her constantly but she doesn't feel ready yet. You give her gifts but she has never given you one. You want to be exclusive right away, but she's not there. You want to move in as soon as possible. You want to get married and have children very quick. Wayyy before she does Etc. Etc.

If you feel like this is you - it's time to slow down and back off so that the relationship can be between two people that are equally invested.

ezgih · 2025-07-31T04:24:44+00:00

To me, putting in the effort is sometimes giving the space with compassionate presence. It may look like no effort in disguise. It all includes asking and respectfully caring about the other’s needs. But love bombing feels like the other person is trying to say all the right things by assuming the desires of the other’s without asking directly. And it creates this sense of feeling that if you do wrong or say something wrong, you will be abandoned and you do not have a chance to make things right.

miserablelonelysoul · 2025-07-31T06:49:56+00:00

Can someone explain love bombing to me? How do I know if I'm being love bombed?

Life-Income2986 · 2025-07-31T03:26:16+00:00

Hang on a second, what do you think 'putting in effort' means? Because in my dictionary those two things are so disparate your question makes no sense.

LaySton · 2025-07-31T09:39:03+00:00

IMO love bomb feels rushed and more intense than necessary.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-31T15:47:46+00:00

You are creating a false dillema here. Love bombing doesn't mean that you are putting too much effort and that you need to put less.

Love bombing means that you are rushing things emotionally by acting like you are completely in love with the other person in a way that doesn't feel authentic, earned, organic and grounded in reality.

It happens when you barely know the other person, and you make that person believe this was such huge love a first sight, that you are completely sold on that person, that you can't stop dreaming every day about her, and thinking of future plans, pretty much acting like you are ready to marry her tomorrow, make plans for the honeymoon, have kids already,... even though you've only been seen each other for like a month, or even just a few dates...

It's basically trying to rush what should take months or even years of mutual discovery, and throwing it all at her way too fucking soon without proper buildup or genuine emotional connection.

So this has nothing to do with "putting effort"... It has to do with you either being manipulative, or emotionally immature.

Putting effort is something else like: planning fun dates, taking the time to get to know each other, taking the initiative,... etc It has nothing to do with you making the other person believe that you are 10 chapters ahead in the story from where it should actually be.

costwy55 · 2025-07-31T16:04:37+00:00

Idk a lot of times the term love bombing isn't used correctly lol. TikTok made a lot of terms like that useless.

NatashOverWorld · 2025-08-01T11:57:01+00:00

If it peters put after you've solidified the rlships and only comes back when she's trying to leave you.

Title	How do you distinguish the difference between love bombing and putting in effort?
Author	cryptiiix
Upvotes	39
Comments	12
Date	July 31, 2025 3:16 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mdqseh/how_do_you_distinguish_the_difference_between/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-distinguish-the-difference-between-love.1558541 https://theredarchive.com/post/1558541

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