How do you guys maintain conversation with the opposite sex with nothing in common

IANAPUA_Yet · 2017-06-13T16:31:45+00:00

How in the world could you have nothing in common with someone? You're both human, right? You both breathe, eat, sleep? You're in approximately the same geographical area, same generation? You've had some schooling, worked a bit?

If you truly think you have nothing in common with someone, the problem is almost certainly that you're not very good at finding commonalities. Work on your general conversational skills.

But if you truly don't click with someone, move on. There are billions of people in this world.

P.S. Exploring differences is a lot of fun too. Don't forget to do some of that.

Woujo · 2017-06-13T15:26:39+00:00

You don't. Find somebody you do have shit in common with.

boss413 · 2017-06-13T16:39:51+00:00

Two things: First, I tend to have non-fact-based conversations--I try to keep conversations involving as few facts as possible. I like to run The Cube or Strawberry Fields, run through scenarios from a Zombie Apocalypse, do the OkTrends first date questions, or just play Would You Rather. This kind of conversation tends to be more entertaining, as well as giving you the opportunity to steer it more toward sexy things, telling stories, and giving validation.

Second, redefine having something in common:

https://www.reddit.com/r/SocialEngineering/comments/5g0ax4/these_3_skills_will_completely_change_your_social/

accountrel · 2017-06-13T21:19:33+00:00

You need to show interest in her hobbies, activities, lifestyle, background, family, etc. She does in yours.

if she talks about how much she loves ballroom dancing... be inquisitive about this. If you know some shit about ballroom dancing, try to sound informative. Maybe your cousin teaches it. If not, ask questions, "What makes you go to ballroom dancing each week?" A good open, "I've never done ballroom dancing before, maybe you can teach me? Do you teach guys with two left feet?"

Perhaps you've done something kinda related, "I did take Capoeira [Dance/Martial Art] classes for a bit and it was fun. "I've wanted to do classes again but it's been hard to find time, would want to try a class sometime?"

Above was a real scenario from a date I was on.

Make sense? Shows you don't necessarily have ballroom dancing in common. You are willing to try and accept her passions.

If it is not possible for either of you to show interest... yeah likely not going to work.

This idea that lots of hobbies in common will magically keep people together and attached... is utter BS. Some people think they are looking for themselves in a partner. You need to find someone that can compliment, guide you, and support you. That doesn't mean they need to share all your passions and interests.

There was a Seinfeld episode where he meets a girl just like him. He thinks he found the perfect women and asks to marry her after a week. Then Jerry realizes... he doesn't like himself so why would he want to be with a women like himself. :)

Yin/Yang of life.

People should think about... would you really want to be in a romantic relationship with a carbon copy of yourself? :)

Ragondux · 2017-06-13T15:23:03+00:00

The less you have in common with her, the more you can learn from conversation. Unless you're just uninterested in what girls might have to say in general, but that would be a bit strange. Please give more details, why do you have nothing in common?

Remix73 · 2017-06-13T17:34:44+00:00

Ask her about herself. You don't need to have anything in common. Be interested in learning about her. If you can't manage that, then she should rightfully be disinterested in you.

DaygameCoach · 2017-06-13T20:18:17+00:00

Work on your conversation skills and if necessary interests/hobbies (and even improv skills) and this will happen less.

DirkDieGurke · 2017-06-13T16:35:47+00:00

So this girl agreed to come over for the 4th date, knowing it would be for sex, but I was so unattracted I basically blew her off. I didn't feel us clicking, and her drama was not worth it.

Do yourself a favor, find somebody that makes you smile as soon as you see them. You deserve somebody that knocks your socks off.

When you find somebody that is a match, you won't struggle so much to keep the conversation going, because you will want to know everything about them.

Title	How do you guys maintain conversation with the opposite sex with nothing in common
Author	Jimmothy2057
Upvotes	13
Comments	16
Date	June 13, 2017 3:11 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6h0h3a/how_do_you_guys_maintain_conversation_with_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-guys-maintain-conversation-with-the.1428883 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428883

Comments