how do you make friends?

jsbach123 · 2022-09-15T14:52:19+00:00

It definitely gets harder to make friends when you're older.

On one hand, it might be hard to find girls to date. But harder still is to find good friends when you're over 30. It's not like there's an app to find friends nor can you use cold approaching.

In many ways, once over 30, it's easier to get a girlfriend than to get a new good friend.

Liberaler · 2022-09-15T15:11:01+00:00

Pyramid of creating friendships.

A (base):

accepting yourself the way you are, being ok with yourself
having a positive outlook on life
avoiding negative assumptions about things and social situations you don't know
being okay in your own skin

B (mid-section)

putting yourself out there
curiosity to check out new social groups
being able to become part of a relatively loose group
being able to collect loose contacts
being able to have small talk (with strangers)
being able to connect to people
become a social adventurer, that enjoys checking out new groups

C ( upper section)

you will share a feeling with some of the people you meet and have to be able to act on it and to open up
being able to be authentic
if you do all that, you will just click with some of the people you meet
this is also a numbers game, therefore you need to expose yourself to enough people and social situations

C (tip of the pyramid)

don't neglect the friendships you already have, stay in contact and cultivate the friendship on a deeper level

You can simultaneously work on all levels, that's just how the aspects are interconnected.

Notascoutstillag · 2022-09-15T15:29:48+00:00

Ask people about themselves and let them speak without interrupting

boy_named_su · 2022-09-15T19:50:50+00:00

I'm in my 40s. All of my friends are from the following sources:

work
school (I did graduate school in my 30s)
friends of friends

It also helps to go through a "stuggle" together. whether that's a tough project at work or school or an epic night of drinking, doesn't matter

I'm funny and forthright as well. I'm pretty social at work too. I put in a fair amount of effort to keep old friendships alive

RokuroMonsuta · 2022-09-15T17:40:54+00:00

I am 26,

I am going through my personal development journey. What I can see online, is that it seems like there are a lot of guys that are starving for friendships and a sense of brotherhood.

I think it comes down to what kind of friendships you want for yourself. And then, you have to be a person that those kind of people want to be around.

I agree that strong friendships are built via time, but also in doing crazy experiences. You can meet somebody who shares similar values to you, go on some crazy adventure, and you'll have a greater connection in 12 months than others who have been friends for years.

agroupofone · 2022-09-15T15:39:02+00:00

I find that using fresh eggs and flour really helps.

zapadz · 2022-09-15T16:24:28+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERap8i3qpCw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYp_hBqPbuA

SnooHesitations4922 · 2022-09-15T19:42:40+00:00

Be a decent, empathetic person.

montanalombardy · 2022-09-16T10:57:47+00:00

Get an interest or hobby that can be done with other people.

Find a group that does it.

Go spend time with them.

Even if you have 0 charisma, confidence or social skills, you can make friends through this. Proximity is the best way to friendship.

atomant88 · 2022-09-15T15:22:42+00:00

bro this sub is for game, not for friends

OriginalMandem · 2022-09-15T19:29:58+00:00

It's hard to quantify. Generally a combination of a GSOH, empathy and emotional literacy. One of my friends who I've known over 15 years now, literally buying the dude a cold drink on a hot day without asking first but realising he was busting his ass outdoors at the height of the sun in the middle of summer for low pay. Other people, a shared connection through music. Others, through a natural tendency towards hospitality and being a good cook.

Wazzock_PP · 2022-09-16T01:54:50+00:00

Not trying to sleep with who ever I talk to does it for me. I befriend extroverted women mostly an meet many of their friends that I also befriend.

I don’t like male friends very much. I have a couple good ones but I don’t go out of my way to make new ones. Women are just more fun to be around. Come to find out I get along with the LGBQ community really well. Made a few trans an lesbian friends. Never knew a straight guy could have so much fun s a gay club.

Endlessly_ · 2022-09-16T12:03:23+00:00

I go out to quieter bars where people can carry a conversation or coffee shops and just start talking shit with anyone that looks remotely interesting.

Made a couple of good friends from this actually. Being social is a skill that you can work on. Probably actually have an easier time making friends as a reasonably confident 28 year old compared to when I was in high school/college tbh.

Edit: also hobbies. I’ve become friends with people/made connections at the BJJ gym I used to roll at, at the motorcycle co-op I used to frequent, etc. Making friends at wherever you *do your hobby is easy-mode cause you already have built-in common ground.

Title	how do you make friends?
Author	carelessMan6969
Upvotes	4
Comments	15
Date	September 15, 2022 2:35 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xeyenk/how_do_you_make_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-make-friends.1249964 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249964

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