How is it possible ?

norwegiandoggo · 2024-10-26T17:08:13+00:00

It's normal to be nervous when approaching a stranger to hit on them. When women see this, it signals maybe a lack of confidence, but it signals two other qualities

You're a normal dude.
You're probably a safe dude.

If you approach confidently, they will see the confidence as a plus. But they may wonder: Why is he so confident doing this? Is he always doing this kind of approach? Is he a player or a pick-up artist? Is he a scammer or trickster? Is he a narcissistic psychopath? Sometimes being nervous and insecure makes you more believable and trustworthy.

Anyway. It doesn't matter how you ended up here, let's just try to improve the approach. What is your approach?

Mantagena · 2024-10-26T17:08:08+00:00

It's your desperation. You show it that you had no luck in a while and are doubting your skills. You see it will snowball upwards when you manage to have Sex against. It's just a subconscious lack of confidence and desperation.

Elbynerual · 2024-10-26T17:22:39+00:00

Have you tried learning seduction? It works really well compared to cold approach. You know, since cold approach requires literally no skills whatsoever.

Chicagoj1563 · 2024-10-28T00:13:38+00:00

You may be giving your power away with direct approaches.

The frame should be you are a high value guy, she’s a dating prospect, you’re not sure yet so you are talking with her to find out more. She has to win you over. She will level up by dating a guy like you.

When you go direct she has nothing to chase or qualify to. She already has you.

If she’s attractive, every other guy is doing the same thing one way or another. She has them too. She knows she attractive. It’s boring for her.

Mobile_Rooster1516 · 2024-10-28T18:22:47+00:00

Cold approach is dead brother. I am from one of the biggest cities in north america. I make above average & have great style (haircut, physically fit, dressup, etc.) and still I got 0 date, I repeat 0, from the last 200 approaches. Daygame seems to yield the worst results though. Bars, clubs, etc still work. I dont think girls are welcoming to cold approaches anymore, at all. May be most of them have been already approached by multiple puas, which made them unwelcoming to any further cold approaches, whether you are good or not. I got some numbers, but all of them flaked. I can understand, they might be suspicious or afraid or something. I kind of challeged myself 2 years back that I will get gf through cold approach and I am still single. All my friends who asked me not to try it, have got girlfriends in other ways. Some through tinder, some through clubbing, some through friends' parties, but not even one through cold approach. I know it might have worked for some people, but unless its a social scenario like parties or bars or some events, I dont think it will work anymore. Good luck!

Mobile_Rooster1516 · 2024-10-28T19:23:42+00:00

Dont listen to any of the advice here telling you to improve your game. Cold approach doesnt work these days, period. If you want quality women, at least physically, you have 5 options. Work/school, activities/events, friends, clubs/bars and online. Never cold approach from now. I can guarantee, you will lose way more than you gain. Girls are not fond of these approaches anymore, they might laugh or talk to you when you approach, but they will flake 100 % guarantee.

No-Philosophy5461 · 2024-10-26T17:27:19+00:00

So just saying do you want to hookup to a rando? 🤣

There's gotta be a bit more effort than that

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-10-26T18:50:40+00:00

I can explain, this is typical.

When you were shy and indirect you came off as more outcome independent. It's actually better to be a social moron than to always say the "right" things and approach the right way because the social moron carries less "try hard" energy.

This is what gives the illusion of "beginners luck"

the seduction information out there is intentional misdirection.

You want to UNDERsell yourself. As u get more reps and get less shy and more open it's easy to start trying to apply strategies and try selling yourself, either verbally or through your behaviors.

Focus on what arouses women. It's no secret that perceived preselection is the most arousing trait, but no one knows how to demonstrate it even when they have it...it loops back to outcome independence. If you don't care about getting somewhere with the girl, her ego assumes the only way u possibly can't care is that u are preselected by other women...which makes her feel physically safe with you.

The most basic formula to stick to is to remain less interested in the girl than she is in you. Doing this will check your neutrality and dumb down your behaviors in the right way, and u will notice u will be more like what u were in the beginning. Even in a romantic relationship u need to be less attached than the girl is to you.

I personally don't cold approach because that in itself displays a degree of outcome dependence. I let interactions happen organically by being equally social with every type of person as I move about, sometimes a hot girl I made some dumb comment to or chick that interjected in a separate convo happens to want to get to know me and I make it a mission for her😂

Practical-Macaroon38 · 2024-10-27T03:45:41+00:00

You probably come off as “too scripted” or not authentic enough, especially if you’re asking for their number within 1 minute.

Mix in some potential lack of confidence or a hint of neediness (where you need to prove it yourself) & women can pick up on that.

The indirect approach worked better for you because you’re able to maintain a cool, fun conversation without showing instant desperation.

It also probably helped you improve the overall vibe that you give off & allowed you to build some rapport during the conversation.

Stop forcing cold approaches atm. Take a break from them or start mixing them in with indirect approaches again.

You seem to be tying your results heavily to your ego since you seem so hesitant about trying indirect again.

yerkab · 2024-10-26T17:08:06+00:00

curious to this as well

Memnon1 · 2024-10-26T18:19:53+00:00

In the game there are various "styles" direct, indirect, super confident, slightly shy etc. All these styles "work" for certain men and with certain women. If you had a style that was working for you, why did you feel compelled to change it,? And once having change your approach style your results did a 180 degree shift why haven't you gone back to what had worked for you in the past?

Approaching women you should know women play less attention to WHAT YOU SAY and are scoped locked on how WHATEVER YOU SAY MAKES THEM FEEL. It takes more than saying words you think projects confidence. The FEELING women get about that presentation must be congruent. It's not what you feel about your confidence, but does your entire approach congruently create the impression of confidence in the women you approach.

Active-Koala3169 · 2024-10-27T07:43:15+00:00

What I Can say is this…I’m not a pro but 7 years ago I got into cold approaching hard. Got a few hook ups and ended up with a LTR for 5 years.

Once we broke up I dedicated weekends etc to cold approaching and no results in a year im Australia where in from. Went to Europe and within 3 weeks I got laid from a cold approach on a bus.

Not sure if it has to do with society now days but with online dating etc it might have some affect on it.

SnooMarzipans8858 · 2024-10-27T14:26:33+00:00

Im not a pick up artist or anything but I think it’s time for you to focus on one. For instance, once you find someone that you actually like and can see a future with, dump all your efforts into getting into a relationship with her.

Title	How is it possible ?
Author	Brave-Damage-49
Upvotes	8
Comments	53
Date	October 26, 2024 5:05 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1gcpqg0/how_is_it_possible/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-is-it-possible.1534384 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534384

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