I posted about this as a video a month ago but I feel like it would be good to do a written version.

One of the traits that is rarely discussed on this forum or in the pick up community in general is vulnerability. Not only is this a trait that women consistently find very attractive but its something that ALL of us on this forum must be when we come here and post. Its an insanely important trait, which luckily women also find attractive. However most people try and avoid it as much as possible, (especially spammy pick up artists, who are far too quick to label other men as “pussies”). A big reason for this is fear of being seen as needy, which is a legitimate fear that I had when I was starting out years ago.

The key to being vulnerable but not needy is when you are being vulnerable with a girl don’t ‘need’ anything from her. If she can tell in your voice that you want her to feel sorry for you or fix your problems, then this is needy and not at all attractive. What is attractive is showing your human side and being ok with your insecurities. Not seeking her validation.

Women always have a kind of fantasy around the “wounded warrior.” Being vulnerable, in itself, is not attractive but the wounded warrior is because he already has other things going for him. The warrior is strong, but the wounded warrior is also human and humans we can connect with.

So, the next time you are vulnerable with a girl e.g. (admitting that you were nervous or scared in a situation) if you say it with confidence she will assume that you are that warrior who feels real emotions but has a handle on them. Women are NOT looking for emotionally unstable men.

People who are emotionally unstable are like babies, in that they require attention and cannot fend for themselves. Women don’t want a baby they want a man.

I got this wrong so many times by pretending I had all the answers and coming off as a complete asshole rather than someone who had the guts to tell a girl he liked her. It took me years of doing this pick up stuff for me to be comfortable enough to be able to say “I like you” to a girl and not need any validation return. In fact, I wouldn’t even utter those words, period. I was getting a new girl every week and still didn’t have the guts to be open.

It’s funny how you have to have confidence to be vulnerable but that’s how it is. Practicing this has allowed me to deal with my issues and connect with not just girls but also people in general. It sounds insane how this could work for hot girls even when you are out just trying to get laid but being able to be open and connect with someone on a personal level rather than being huddled in your own shell makes so much of a difference.

These days I get laid more than I did back then with not even a third of the effort. I had all the other aspects of game down but being vulnerable in the right way showed the most improvement. The way I got better was I practiced being more vulnerable with those around me. I used my close friends and family first as they would not use this as an opportunity to attack me. I then focused on being more open when I was out and not pretending like I always had all the answers. It took a lot less energy, was more enjoyable and improved my results.

Not being able to admit when you are nervous, or sad, or unsure of something is a sign of emotional immaturity. I really think this topic should be explored more but here is what I had to say about it and here’s a video I had on the subject a little while back https://youtu.be/gJUEYZV6GqQ. I come out with more videos on topics like these every week, along with infield stuff as well. Consider subscribing if you feel like this could benefit you.