How to stop rejecting myself?

Therocksays2020 · 2021-12-02T21:55:08+00:00

You seem to be focusing on eye contact my advice to you would be to switch your focus to interaction a woman can eye fuck you to death but unless you approach it’s pointless.

Instead of focusing on holding eye contact. Just say hello.

You need to do just step one. I don’t believe you need to hold eye contact to exert dominance or anything silly like that. You need to act on the fact you caught their eye. Does that make any sense

WoundedWisdom · 2021-12-02T23:08:36+00:00

Hey friend. It's going to be OK. You're feeling something that most men probably feel at some time or another. We just don't talk about it, because men aren't supposed to talk about this stuff. High five for being vulnerable and asking the question. That takes guts.

I'm a 45m childhood trauma survivor with a boatload of internalized beliefs about myself and other people. I've been unpacking them as part of some intensive therapy, and I learned some interesting things when I tried to address basically this same question in myself: how can I have self-confidence (and get rid of this crippling self-doubt)?

Here's what I've learned: you have to be in tune with that part of yourself that is fiercely, unapologetically on your own side. That part of you that can stand tall and say "I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks or says - I want to do this thing, and by God I'm going to do it."

Get to know that part of yourself, and what it feels like when he's in the driver's seat. He's your self-confidence. And eventually, when he gets comfortable, you'll be able to shoot your shot AND roll with the results, whatever they may be. You've got this.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-12-02T22:15:05+00:00

It's your ego stopping you, because it is scared of embarrassing itself. You have to convince your ego that the only thing worth being embarrassed over is being a do nothing Bitch, because the outcome wjll always be embarrassing for you.

Leviathansplunge · 2021-12-02T22:30:45+00:00

As men we have an internal mechanism that makes us kick ourselves in the ass when we know we have an opportunity and don't take the chance, it can cause a chain reaction of repetition because we are afraid of this feeling more than the possibility of failure itself. Best thing you can do is raise your sense of self worth, which involves alot more than being good looking. Bring as much gain to yourself as u can and show all the love you got to your family and friends and everything else will fall into place, with a fulfilling, abundant life you completely won't care about what any individual woman thinks, which my friend, is the answear, they are attracted to the guy that don't care and don't need no woman, good looks is just a bonus.

vardarac · 2021-12-03T04:00:14+00:00

I can’t even bring myself to fucking smile.

This is stupid as hell, but when I was learning how to not be a depressed sadsack all the time I would practice by looking in the mirror thinking of something really dumb that I found funny. Make sure you're smiling with the eyes and the cheekbones and not just your teeth.

If you can develop the habit of doing that slightly shortly after making that eye contact, only people in a bad mood will outright reject you without getting to know you at least a little.

And if they do- it doesn't mean you're shit as a human being, it just means your marketing skills need more practice. That could take weeks, it could take years, but make peace with it. Everyone moves at their own pace and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Pleural_Mesothelioma · 2021-12-03T05:23:03+00:00

I kid you not I had this exact same problem. I just started staring back to assert my dominance and talking to them either by saying “greetings!” Or “salutations fellow starrer” and the ridiculousness would further assert my dominance.

I am the eye contact king, bow before me haha!

Jawsumness · 2021-12-03T05:41:37+00:00

Hey bro. Honestly this sounds like my story and I’m the same age as you. A book that helped me was the “anecdote to happiness”. It teaches u to really not gaf, and embrace negativity rather than push it down. Your going to be nervous, everyone is. But, you have to understand that it’s all in your head. Any event can be judged in a positive or negative light. Embrace your faltering emotions and talk to her. I have trouble with this too so ur not alone

evetrapeze · 2021-12-02T23:56:44+00:00

Open your mouth and say hi

Redis_Sara · 2021-12-03T03:04:34+00:00

I suffer the same syndrome handsome but shy

furikakke · 2021-12-03T03:52:51+00:00

Have you ever heard of EMDR? a technique used in therapy where you expose yourself to the stimuli that is scaring or embarrassing you until you no longer have the undesirable reaction — numbing yourself to it.

Might sound silly, but maybe you could practice holding the gaze of women, then smiling and imaginjng how you’d approach, in private wirh some girl on your laptop and basically “train” for real life.

Not a therapist. Just in therapy.

Cards_s · 2021-12-03T05:05:38+00:00

Just nod up, like it's a friend. If she likes you she's will smile, laugh or do something and that's when you take your shot.

Like saying what's up, but not in cocky way, just like you already know her.

Just be sure she's making eye contact with you before you nod up.

If she rejects you dont take it personally or get embarrased, shit happens and you need to do it constantly so you get comfortable for the next girl.

Hope it helps!

Revolutionary-Lie552 · 2021-12-03T13:00:27+00:00

Give up pornography and masturbation and I promise you that you will be great 👍

Outrageous_Fill3231 · 2021-12-03T15:37:20+00:00

Wait, so you’re telling me when girls look at me, it’s not because my forehead is big? Am I hotter than I think?

Comand94 · 2021-12-03T19:42:04+00:00

Don't take life so seriously. You don't need to "conquest" a woman just because it seems that she finds you attractive, go talk to her to have a fun conversation with another human being, drop all expectations. After s while of talking, when you are no longer strangers, if the vibe is good, it will be way easier for you to decide on what you want to do with her and what should be your next "move" - maybe you don't vibe at all so you become acquaintances, maybe you do vibe and become friends or go on a date, who knows.

NoOutlandishness9892 · 2021-12-06T01:12:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

RetardedGit · 2021-12-02T22:56:23+00:00

Just go to a party and you'll get ass lol

earsurgery9 · 2021-12-03T00:16:51+00:00

you should clean up on tinder. Give it a shot!

Evolutionarybio · 2021-12-03T02:21:47+00:00

Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Smile, and say something friendly like “nice day out, right?” or something like that. The other person will respond with a smile and say something. After a few minutes of talking, be up front and say, “you are incredibly hot right now, we should go back to my place.” It’s tough, but you CAN do this! Just have to pony up. (And you probs have a higher chance of success because your good looking).

SushiMuchWow · 2021-12-03T05:29:23+00:00

Now I’m curious as to what you look like. 🤔

Title	How to stop rejecting myself?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	56
Comments	43
Date	December 2, 2021 9:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r7i8js/how_to_stop_rejecting_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-rejecting-myself.1271379 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271379

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