How to stop this from happening?

TheDoctor_2014 · 2019-08-03T08:59:21+00:00

This is probably something you can't ask online, just because from what you said there's nothing "wrong" with you. From what is happening there is something, but we can't figure it out without knowing you or seeing you in action. Personally I'll suggest you to check if you scare them in some way... Maybe you just act in a really creepy way that you don't notice. This is reinforced by the fact they seem uncomfortable. Compare yourself with someone you think hasn't this problem and see if there is something deeply different in your behaviour. A second possibility may be terrible hygiene or really bad manners. As I told, I can't do anything more than generally guessing, because I don't know anything about you. Try to describe your habits, interests/hobbies, personality and aesthetic if you really want better help from us, because now is really like saying:"everyone is rejecting me, help me"

Zandito · 2019-08-03T09:11:19+00:00

Agree with guy above, if you had a video or a friend that could watch then it may be easier to help. Surprisingly, not trying to find a date and just talking to women as friends may take away whatever the yikes factor is. Women are often programmed/raised to fear men, because many of them notice men sexually undressing then with their eyes from as early as age 10, some girls that develop early may notice it sooner.

Helmet_Icicle · 2019-08-03T10:15:13+00:00

First off, if you don't know what's wrong then you can at least conclude that you lack self-awareness and probably situational awareness. Those are salient areas of improvement.

Secondly, if people seem so uncomfortable around you that they are literally fleeing from you then you definitely lack social awareness and tact as well. So that's also a clear area of improvement.

Furthermore, even if those aren't the actual issues and you're a perfectly normal human being, girls aren't going to consider you as a valid sexual partner if you don't present yourself as a sexual being. Seduction is predicated upon being able to organize and express your sexual energy. If you say something like "I want to be friends first" then A) You're not understanding what dating is and B) You're probably using that as an excuse to avoid fear.

My interests are philosophy, theoretical sciences, theology, literature, etc. I am quite conservative but tend to distance myself from political conversations unless absolutely necessary. I do not avoid necessary confrontation and have strong convictions on certain issues.

It's possible you're boring.

Generally, girls really aren't into that. People in general (especially people who are into that) don't use that material as idle conversation. Especially at your age group, people don't hang out and just talk about Christian doctrine or Maxwell equations. If that's what you're into then you need to go where that is, like a study group or academic frat or something.

I don't like the idea of "numbering" my level of physical attractiveness. Different women like different types of men.

Post a picture then. It may be unfortunate but you could just be short, ugly, fat, boring, and weird. You can't do anything about the first two but you can absolutely be short, ugly, fit, fun, and witty.

Edit: spelling

IllusiveMan2186 · 2019-08-03T09:25:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sunsinclair · 2019-08-03T10:16:35+00:00

If you're very cerebral, one thing that might be happening is that you are not being sexual enough. The scariest thing to a human is not knowing what someone wants. If you kind of ask someone out without sufficiently have telegraphed interest and tested mutual interest, it will shock her and she will run away. Imagine someone who you had no idea was interested in you, you barely even knew they were really sexually active, suddenly asked you out. Now imagine that you're also 60% as strong as this other person. That's kind of what it's like. Also some level of flirting gives you both chances to initiate and to say no (generally in gentle non-verbal way that is generally temporary at least until she really does reject you). Doing this dance is important because unless she gets the chance to rebuke you a little bit and see that you can stop without emotionally falling apart, then she really can't trust that you're not at a minimum socially inept and at a maximum a psychopath.

Putins_bishop · 2019-08-03T10:39:41+00:00

Maybe you're acting too cerebral with girls? Not that girls don't like ideas, but for them to see you romantically, you have to get to their emotional core

FoolinaSwimmingPool · 2019-08-03T09:13:34+00:00

Women tick with hormones and instincts more than logic so what you say or what you do doesn’t matter that much but how you do it matters. It’s Probably your posture, tonality or any other non verbal communication tool.

IllusiveMan2186 · 2019-08-03T10:43:50+00:00

Coming from another student, I have noticed that the classroom setting can be difficult for people - like me and apparently you too - who are not very "natural" and tend to be introspective (I'm assuming you basically mean quiet-by-nature).

Maintaining your game can be tiring. It's easy to run routines and be interesting the first few times you meet a girl in class, but maintaining that impression over the long term takes constant effort, made harder by you actually having to learn the stuff you should be learning in class anyway. Game is often not pragmatic, and work/class tends to bring a person towards doing things the most efficient way possible which NEVER is the most appealing way.

The classroom is only sort-of a social setting IMO. Keep at it, but remember too that game is easier when you don't have to maintain it over the course of a semester. You might be better off starting in purely social, one-and-done settings like parties/lunchtime/walking to class/etc.

Also...Hinge/Tinder should be your best friends. Stage a few good pictures, use game in your lines, and take advantage of the slow pace of communication and the fact that she is on there to meet guys.

eyesopen1111 · 2019-08-03T12:16:54+00:00

If you can’t tell why women are not responding to you in a more emotionally positive way, then you need to work on your emotion intelligence, listening skills, situational awareness, and GAME!! Finding a wingman who's successful with women to watch you and give you tips would help. If you can afford a dating coach, then try that.

ZabuzAli · 2019-08-03T13:00:05+00:00

One thing that I haven’t seen mentioned at all in this entire thread is your looks. Are you attractive... Do you play sport/compete. Do you go to the gym. Are you lean. Good haircut. Strong jawline. Prominent cheekbones.

As much as people sometimes like to imply that looks don’t matter, they do. Girls are just like men - they get turned on by attractive humans of the opposite sex. You can definitely improve your looks to become attractive to at least some women, but you have to put in the work. Going from unattractive to attractive is night and day.

Rule 1, Be attractive. Rule 2, Don’t be unattractive

Hope this helps

FairAnalyst · 2019-08-03T13:25:34+00:00

I’ve hung out with a lot of guys doing cold approaching game. Some very attractive to non-attractive. Some fashionable and some not.

The only thing I’ve seen that dramatically impact how girls perceive a guy to the point where they would run away or constant denials of dates boils down to vibe.

Specifically two, one is the creepy vibe which is usually the result of bad posture and personal space issues, the other is too serious vibe, the person discusses heavy topics without smiling or sounding like they’re enjoying the conversation.

The biggest factor to vibe is one personal actions that make up their personality. The rest can be considered minor modifiers at best - such as hygiene is fashion, etc. That’s why we try to drill into people’s head the basics of approaching such as eye contact, smiling, and playfulness, because having those basics eliminates the worst vibes that zero out most guy’s chances before they even get a chance to game.

ntipz011 · 2019-08-03T09:43:32+00:00

Get a coaching man.

Whether online or on-site, you need someone to dedicate time to you because by reading your post it seems like you're a fine regular lad

TrevBD · 2019-08-03T12:26:27+00:00

Just kind of throwing this out there. Sounds to me like you approach them in a fully logical state I’ve learned that this bores women to the core because they like to socialize based off emotions if you approach in a cold emotionless manner it won’t lure them in unless it’s a woman equally into socializing intellectually which 99% of them aren’t. So try loosening up get rid of some of the stoicism add a little emotion/excitement in your words see how it goes and again I’m just guessing all this based off what you’ve said maybe you already do, no way to tell online like the others have said.

Title	How to stop this from happening?
Author	IllusiveMan2186
Upvotes	10
Comments	41
Date	August 3, 2019 8:43 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/clgm7y/how_to_stop_this_from_happening/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-stop-this-from-happening.1475224 https://theredarchive.com/post/1475224

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