How would you change your approach/lifestyle/strategy if you were looking for a high quality girlfriend, rather than living the PUA lifestyle?

WetBigSlap · 2025-08-10T12:37:17+00:00

This is gonna sound cheesy, but if your aim is to have something long term the most important thing is to become the very best version of yourself. It’s important to recognise what you love in life, who you are, and give that 100% of your efforts. Do stuff you think really fits you as a person, become great at it, and find your own purpose. Once you do this, the right person will come into your life naturally.

PUA lifestyle has these things as well, but it’s also a lot of “fake it till you make it” advice that does help in getting you laid for causal things. But for long term, don’t project on to people and truly do what fits best for you. It’s not worth being with somebody that has seen what you’re all about and doesn’t feel it.

No-Compote-2127 · 2025-08-10T15:08:41+00:00

Ask yourself what kind of woman you want and where they would likely spend their time and be there.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-08-10T18:04:03+00:00

Same general approach but the target shifts a bit when you're looking for gf material. Ideally more attractive and more emotionally stable. Also your threshold for waiting for sex may shift slightly. Can wait 4 or 5 dates for the initial lay while you may normally not wait past date 2 or 3 for a casual fling.

ChicoBrillo · 2025-08-11T14:48:25+00:00

Being confident and up front about what you want so that you scare away the right people.

Getting your own life in order so that you are set up for something long term (assuming you're talking about family and kids).

Volunteer or get involved in something that you're passionate about that has a community so you can meet somebody who has shared morals, interests etc.

Strike a balance between having real, fair standards, but not delusional ones like she has to be a 10 and make six figures and want to have sex every night etc.

Ryan_the_Scion · 2025-08-11T16:33:43+00:00

How would you change your approach/lifestyle/strategy if you were looking for a high quality girlfriend, rather than living the PUA lifestyle?

I'm open to something serious and I've noticed: When I approach girls now, I feel my success rate actually INCREASES. So, usually when I meet someone new now, I talk to them as if I'm trying to figure out if they're a good match as a one-life stand, and I find girls are more receptive to such attention than "game", not that I've ever been good at gaming.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-08-10T12:32:48+00:00

I wouldn't change my approach at all. What works is the same

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