It always reminds me of everything I desire that's unattainable to me. Here I am having spent the last few weeks messaging tons of women on a dating app. All I have is one I'm talking to who doesn't even live in my country and doesn't have any plans to travel here. In other words nothing.

I talked to several pretty girls who all ghosted me when they heard what I do for a living. The only ones that wanted to talk to me were a handful of really ugly women who were so ugly I didn't want to keep talking to them. And then I go downtown. What do I see? As always. A woman walking with some rich powerful man.

Then a hot couple sitting on a bench cuddling having a great time, an easy fucking life. Then a guy hitting on a woman, my impression is they're both tourists, and she is very happy that he's talking to her, like a level of happy a woman never is when I talk to them.

Then walk past a bar with three super expensive sports cars parked outside, all these hot successful men inside who are being drooled over by hot women. Walking among people in general reminds me of how much the world hates me.