I need some advice (college).

dGasim · 2011-12-19T05:34:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Funalol · 2011-12-19T05:42:20+00:00

In the house parties, I go out of my way to make sure people are having fun. I always get people laughing.

There is your problem. Try having fun and others will soon follow.

BCgirlsarehawt · 2011-12-19T07:54:03+00:00

I have a friend who is the best example of a gentleman I have ever known here at my university. He treats girls with full respect, has high moral values that he adheres to, and is one of the best people to be around. It gives a very positive aura to those around him.

At the same time, these qualities he possesses also define him as a leader. He is well spoken and is very charismatic around girls. Now, women find him very attractive even though he is not the douch/alpha type. He will go out of his way to take care of a friend, but he is a leader as well and women find him very attractive.

Patting on your head in my opinion is not a conscious form of condescension by the "patter" by at the same time, it displays you as subservient, after all, you're not the one doing the patting.

One thing that would make a big difference in your quest to become the type of man you want to be (considering I'm making this constructive criticism based on your brief post, after all, I have never met you, therefore do not know what type of personality you have or what social behavior you exhibit) is to act in congruence with your beliefs. You sound like a good person, exploit your good qualities, but also, when talking to girls you find attractive, don't be afraid to be move your interaction towards a more sexual turn. There are a lot of good post, good reads in the seduction community. If you want to know what type of actions you can take to exhibit an reciprocal attractive response from women, read up on some of the field tested (proven to work) things people in the seduction community have taken the time to write to help people like you and I achieve a social proficiency in attracting the opposite sex. You'll find a pattern of behavior that goes beyond the superficial tactics employed by people just getting into "game."

From my experience, girls like men who are completely sure in their actions, don't hesitate, and try your best to be comfortable escalating your interactions with girls to elicit attraction. Of course, different ways in which to do this have been written about in thousands of posts. So, my friend, work on yourself by reading up some more on this seduction stuff, and go out and try this shit out. I suggest you write about your attempts, and there will be a lot of guys who were once having your troubles more than willing to give you some constructive criticism. Good luck.

marco161091 · 2011-12-19T10:37:33+00:00

I go out of my way

There's your problem.

lepuma · 2011-12-19T05:48:37+00:00

You don't have to be mean or anything. Or change your good-guy-greg nature. If I were you, I would read up on some neurolinguistics. The pat-on-the-head you mentioned is a subconscious display of dominance, but is not necessarily condescending. It is more like them giving you approval, which would unfortunately make you appear less attractive to observing girls. Brush up on these hidden social cues, be a nice guy, and display your dominance through understanding and demeanor.

wahooyahoo · 2011-12-19T08:06:00+00:00

Check out "Conquer Your Campus"

darkenspirit · 2011-12-19T11:38:17+00:00

Dont go out of your way. Dont do things for people because you want to make them happy or whatever, do things because you want to do it.

Next time a girl pats you on the head, gentle grab her wrist and then pat her in the head back in a playful manner and reverse the role.

LilWayneTrain · 2011-12-19T14:28:28+00:00

you definitely dont need that kind of attention. if other males dont respect you, or you dont respect yourself enough to have this not happen... how is a girls sposed to resepect you at all or take you seriously when no one else is?

the best and most unawkward way to play this off is when they reach to pat you on the head, knock their hand away and in a deep black mans voice (with a big joking smile on your face) say something like "check yo self be fo ya wreck yo self" or just something funny a pimp would say to a hoe lol... i know it sounds crazy, but its quite comical and it gets the message across without any tension afterward (remember they have to know you are joking, otherwise you might piss someone off).

redditorfor16days · 2011-12-19T14:48:49+00:00

since they're probably 'validating' you, you could just turn around and pat them on the head and tell them they're a good kid, and you know they'd do the same. and then brush their cheek with the side of your thumb like you're a granny going to to pinch them, and smile.

(EDIT: in other words, invade their space with inappropriate affection. this shows that you're comfortable being in their space and taking liberties. it can also get you punched in the face.)

or, as others say, work on your body language. checkit:

http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/toc.html

2011-12-19T16:30:09+00:00

I'm basically a college guy who would do as much for his friends as what Good Guy Greg does on a regular basis. In the house parties, I go out of my way to make sure people are having fun. I always get people laughing.

You're framing this the wrong way. Don't go out of the way to make others happy. Do things that will make you happy. Look out for number one. Trying to make other people laugh and giving the impression that you go out of the way to make everyone happy can seem desperate, like you're always trying to get approval from everyone.

preruntumbler · 2011-12-20T07:38:07+00:00

I feel like if their petting your head its a subtle way of telling you to calm down. Like your trying too hard. Its one thing to have a party where everything is going well for everyone on its own, but if you try to force that...it wont work out.

my 2 cents

puapsyche · 2011-12-19T14:55:15+00:00

The key is to stop caring so much. If you stop focusing on what people think of every little action you do, suddenly, things don't matter so much to you anymore, and you can just focus on YOU having fun and enjoying yourself and you won't appear so uptight about things.

assholebiker · 2011-12-19T16:44:30+00:00

In the house parties, I go out of my way to make sure people are having fun.

Try going to a house party and not doing this. Observe.

I always get love and respect from other friends in public surroundings (DHV right?).

Not if you're doing what you're doing for that love and respect. Try going a week not doing things for the reactions you get from people. Observe.

Try these little experiments and see if you can't learn a little bit about why you act the way you do.

dGasim · 2011-12-19T13:04:12+00:00

The attitude you wrote is not alpha. Search books on becoming an alpha male. I personally read this one and started implementing to my life (http://www.amazon.com/How-Become-Alpha-Male-Successful/dp/1411636600 - there is a torrent for it too) and I see a lot of success (e.g I get opened all the time), so I will recommend this for you. But any other one you find will work too. Its all the same.

smokinshep · 2011-12-19T17:23:10+00:00

Cocky but funny. It works every time.

Why do all the girls go for assholes? Who knows, its probably some weird daddy issue no one really understands. The fact is though, that girls go for assholes.

So how do you be an asshole with out being a douche? I don't like being an asshole, and neither do you. It really is counter intuitive. But once you figure out the concept, life's doors really open up. Not just with women, but with everyone.

Confidence.

What I see in a lot of guys, is the inability to turn a girl down. Tell that bitch no. I know that doesn't make much sense, but believe me it's the quickest way to flip the script on the ladies. It drives them nuts. Have the confidence to know that turning this girl down, won't result in being forever alone. Women spend there whole lives turning down guys. And somehow they don't know what to do with themselves when you tell them no. I don't blame them, they get looked at, and hit-on, spoken to, showered with pleasantry's. When you have the pick of the lot, it becomes really easy to be picky. I think its time we change that around. The trick is to convey the notion that you have the pick of the lot, even if you don't, no one else has to know that.

It has something to do with social dominance. Or even better, I think the laws of supply and demand apply here.

Now, remember Cocky but funny. Simply being a dick isn't going to work by itself. You have to follow it up by being funny, or charismatic. Think arrogant humility.

This is just step one.

Title	I need some advice (college).
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	35
Comments	46
Date	December 19, 2011 4:36 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ni45r/i_need_some_advice_college/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-need-some-advice-college.1325997 https://theredarchive.com/post/1325997

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