"Improve yourself, have a great life and women will come." - this is what I start to see here more and more often. Don't get me wrong, I like that line of thinking. PUA used to be about learning loads of routines, attraction models, all that. Even though it worked a lot of times, it turned guys into robots. Sure you maybe would get laid if you hit dozens of girls with your canned lines invented by Mystery, but was it natural or fun? I don't think so. But for some time now, nearly all coaches dropped that approach and started focusing on having good frame, confidence and building a great lifestyle, reducing routines and all the complex models to general guidelines what to say and how to escalate. And I think it's a way better style. But as I said - I feel that focus is being shifted to self-improvement... TOO MUCH.

One thing I think was good about old-school PUA style - emphasis on opening. Any book or website stressed that you will need to do it a lot if you want to succeed. They teached you the 3 second rule to make you not pussy out. And now, most material puts smaller emphasis on approaching. Guys new to game focus on all the inner game and self-improvement stuff, approaching doesn't seem as vital to them. But in my opinion it's the most important part of game. Why do I think so? You can fuck up every next stage of the interaction but at least you got to know her. Likewise, you can be flirting, texting and sex god - but if you can't open none of these mean anything. Even in Models, a very self-improvement focused book (and I recommend it very much), Mark Manson wrote that a guy who's a deadbeat without social skills but can approach relentlessly will eventually get laid through pure numbers game, as opposed to guys who are good at everything else but can't. I'm not a fan of spam approaching like that and the whole book is about maximizing your chances with every individual girl you meet, but it's a strong example about my point in this post.

Okay, but where does all my rambling go?

As said at the very beginning - in recent times when browsing seddit I'll often see a post or a comment going like this: "I'm not doing approaching for now. I'm gonna get a good body at gym, get a better job and learn to play guitar. Then we'll see." Well, the drive to be a better person is certainly good. Where is the problem then? I've got a feeling that most people who write this are using this as an excuse to avoid approaching and are expecting women to jump into their arms with their panties already off after they reach the goals.

Guess what?

THAT. WON'T. HAPPEN.

It's extremely rare to be flat-out opened by a girl - it happened I think ONCE in my whole life. And I consider myself better looking than vast majority of guys, even though I'm rather short. But it doesn't happen with my tall good looking friends either. Yes, we all get smiled at and eyefucked in clubs - but they don't OPEN us. It's ingrained in them that the guy should and will approach if he's got any balls. So, what will most likely happen - guy makes self-improvement goals, he may even reach them... and becomes very disappointed, because he still has no success with women - he doesn't meet any new ones he can attract with his new self as he can't approach. He may even think that all of it was pointless, even he now has a better life.

My solution?

Become better by all means, but if you're serious about pickup, start approaching now. You need experience by the time you become ripped/rich/however you improve your life. Don't make your goals a long-term excuse to not do it. Yes, I know it's hard. I still often get anxiety and at the very beginning, it was BRUTAL. When I'm usually the loudest and not giving a shit guy in any social condition, asking a cute girl for directions was terrifying. Shit, I even had problems telling hi on a bus to a girl I already chatted with on a party. Yes, it was THAT bad. But it does get better over time. Some guys become totally fearless, I'm not one of them - my heart still often pounds when going for it. But when later I'm making out with her I don't remember it anymore.

You NEED to be able to approach if you want women without the factor of luckily meeting them socially at the right time. The only reasons you should put off approaching: you have bigger problems in your life than lack of sex and they need to be fixed asap or you've got social anxiety, that is anxiety with people in general (definitely fix this before approaching girls, approaching girls in that state will just make you feel worse). If it's not one of them - go out, no excuses. So yeah, that's my thoughts about this whole thing, discussion welcome :)