Is anyone else here dealing with ED ?

heckz · 2011-11-26T04:10:59+00:00

r/sex often discusses this. Check there. but i am assuming you have already taken the steps of eliminating porn from your life and getting rid of the deathgrip?

iznou · 2011-11-27T06:18:34+00:00

This kind of makes me want to go on a little rant.

I used to watch porn, from a young age, on dialup AOL. Still images baby!

Well, time went on and I got into harder stuff. Eventually watching bukkake-esque stuff. At the very least I would watch lots of POV porn, produced by the likes of Seymore Butts.

Then after I had a bad breakup with my ex, I realized I didn't really give her the respect she deserved. And one of the reasons for that was my experience with porn, where women are just used as objects.

Now, most women do in fact enjoy rough sex, even degrading sex, and being used as a hot sexy object. Don't let them tell you otherwise, they love it.

But.

99% of porn? Not sex. Really, it's not sex. Sure there might be penises going in vaginas or other holes, but that doesn't make it sex.

You could have a passionate kiss with a girl, or a makeout session, and I would call THAT sex, and certainly moreso than most of the shaved apes you will watch humping on the redtube.

Now, I have found a porn series that seems to fit my definition of sex (i.e. it contains seduction). It's called Netvideogirls (look it up). The scenes are probably all staged but they feel real--the setup is an audition for a calendar shoot. And the guy behind the camera is a natural seducer, and does a good job of getting the girls turned on (remember that in 99% of porn the girl is not turned on, she's using muscle relaxers to open up and KY jelly to keep the action going for the hours she spends on set).

BUT EVEN IN THIS HOLY GRAIL OF PORN you can tell that the girls are having second thoughts. They don't want their most intimate of moments captured on camera. What once seemed fun and exciting usually turns into a mechanical performance for the camera, with perhaps some forced orgasms.

Again, in 99% of porn, you will see at least a male orgasm, and what seems to be a female orgasm, but in both of these cases they are usually faking it. Even if the guy actually ejaculates he's not usually enjoying it because he doesn't really like the woman. And if you don't understand how this is possible then you haven't had enough sex and you need to put down the porn and figure out what's really going on in your sex life.

So I realized that most if not all porn is completely unrealistic and usually completely devoid of passion. And I stopped watching it. Of course I check it out a couple times a month, but so far I have just been completely turned off by it. I would rather masturbate using my imagination. And that's just fine by me, I rather like my imagination.

So if you just take a few weeks to re-evaluate what you actually like about women, being intimate with them, and all the rest, then I am hopeful you will come to a similar conclusion as me.

Trust me, a real seduction involves popping a boner while talking to a girl for no other reason than inexplicable intangible chemistry. Real human chemistry. Something a camera seems to suck right out of the room. (Unless you have enough trust with your partner that the video won't get on the internet, then you might have a bona fine hot amateur porn, but I have seen precisely zero of these.)

Hope this helped.

(edited for grammar and also I don't "really really like" being turned off by porn, it's just how it is, so I changed the wording)

icemagnus · 2011-11-26T21:47:02+00:00

Join r/nofap and feel The difference quickly. Had the same problem. It is no more. Huge huge confidence boost

absurdconcept · 2011-11-26T12:57:36+00:00

Who the hell is Ed?

But seriously, I wish I could help you. Good luck with it.

porny_skeptic · 2011-11-26T20:38:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

abstractpickupartist · 2011-11-26T04:57:10+00:00

Women are more likely to come from your tongue than your dick.

Develop skills.

kojak488 · 2011-11-26T13:15:47+00:00

Have you considered ED meds to get back on your game? Your post implies nothing is physically wrong, so it's all mental. In those circumstances ED meds can be ineffective. I've heard of people having more success with anti-anxiety meds in those cases. Once you get over the initial hurdle of self-defeat you should stop the meds before you mentally become reliant on them.

Epoh · 2011-11-27T08:13:22+00:00

Havent overcome this. Feel your pain man. I rly do

zohan25 · 2012-02-08T06:27:30+00:00

YOO anotherRawAddict, check out yourbrainonporn.com or porn induced ed, its helped me out alot and im fully recovered from ed, check it out

MrProper · 2011-11-26T10:41:37+00:00

Is such a thing possible? Or is it some sort of external blame for internal conditions?

SqueezeePleasee · 2011-11-26T07:43:57+00:00

I know you said it was porn induced but I recommend kegel exercises. I thought I was stuck with ED for a while but these helped me out a lot. Maybe try to fit these in while you keep away from porn. Here's a site with some tips and exercises. http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_60/67_love_tip.html

ihaveabu · 2011-11-28T06:07:05+00:00

Your fingers and your tongue feel better for her than your penis.

WiretapStudios · 2011-11-26T21:08:19+00:00

Porn induced? I don't think so. You either have ED or you don't. I can jerk off 3 times during the day and still have normal sex at night, I doubt porn is your issue. Looking at it less would help I'm sure, but you need to get diagnosed and treated if you really think it's a condition.

Yes, no girl does want an impotent man. Take those words and motivate yourself to do something about it. Don't use them to put yourself into a loop where you keep doing what you already know isn't working.

DocHopper · 2011-11-26T07:45:26+00:00

Title	Is anyone else here dealing with ED ?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	16
Date	November 25, 2011 11:13 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mpbgr/is_anyone_else_here_dealing_with_ed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-anyone-else-here-dealing-with-ed.1325198 https://theredarchive.com/post/1325198

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