Is it better to keep escalating/pursuing until you get a hard no?

Westernleaning · 2018-06-20T18:52:28+00:00

The short answer to your question is yes. I’d be careful with your use of the word no. Obviously if she’s uncomfortable or not in to you fucking stop even if she doesn’t say no. But I’ve had multiple girls give me a no to a make out say, or sleeping together, and I just kept escalating, and ended up with the pull. Sometimes a girl is saying no to making out in public or it’s just a shit test. One of the things about being sexual as a man is that you’re almost always being physical/escalating, you should be totally unashamed there (unless you’re at work, or if the girl has a boyfriend, or it isn’t an appropriate place).

Remember something, it isn’t just the girl who can say no. You can too. What I mean by that is even if the chick is compliant but you can see she isn’t comfortable or isn’t having a good time you can back off and not force the interaction. At the end of the day this should be fun for everyone.

acquired_ · 2018-06-20T15:28:00+00:00

I'd say keep going but be careful to not slip into chasing/validation

Also an important belief is to assume attraction. If you have to work with something neutral, it's a great way to exercise this belief. That you're used to girls being into you

Sometimes you gotta take the lead competely

ethical_pa · 2018-06-20T16:16:23+00:00

You are doing it all wrong. I know, it's so easy for me to say from here but hey, that's why we come here for advice no? When you are wrapped up in the situation, it's hard to see clearly.

You are overly concerned with how she is feeling and are afraid of making the wrong move. You have to play to win instead of playing not to lose. So assume attraction, make her react to you and not the other way around, just generally go for it without the fear of losing her. It's hard to give specific advice since you haven't described the situation much. Is there an existing romantic relationship? Does she know what your intentions are? Do you want to get her out on a date? Have you ever touched? Kissed? Fucked? What's the deal?

2018-06-20T17:29:37+00:00

Learn to read other signals. You don't want to pursue if they are not interested cuz then you end up looking like a creeper.

GeneralShepard · 2018-06-20T18:51:02+00:00

Who else read this as hard-on

WIA20XX · 2018-06-20T17:57:09+00:00

Are you talking about opening during a cold approach, or physical escalation after a successful (50/50) conversation?

daygamebeast · 2018-06-20T19:40:31+00:00

Anyone here pushed past disinterested behavior and actually got somewhere?

This ^ is mostly about knowing what is actually disinterest, and what is uncertainty, or a "mean poker face" etc.

If she's genuinely disinterested, >2% chance you'll change her mind.

But... most guys err toward assuming she's not into them when she's just unsure or when she's nervous.

daygamebeast · 2018-06-20T19:42:15+00:00

There is the concept of "PLOWING," and I have a suggestion for when/not to do that:

Men should considering PLOWING when they themselves can't easily carry on the conversation.

But if the girl is actually showing disinterest... no, DO NOT PLOW.

Plowing is about overcome our own shyness... not about yammering the girl into submission.

tab13092 · 2018-06-20T20:23:44+00:00

My rule of thumb is always move forward until asked not to, but be respectful/tactful.

Women will be clear when they're not comfortable with whatever it is you're doing/saying and make it known pretty quick. On the contrast as a dude, if this happens just be respectful and resume whatever it is that you guys were previously doing. Don't be ashamed of your intentions, even if they don't line up.

bananagirl910 · 2018-06-20T14:13:51+00:00

Definitely give up if she's not budging. A woman will act keen if she's keen, trust me. However, if this is a woman you've screwed over and she's playing hard to get now, I'd say keep trying if you truly want to pursue her.

Title	Is it better to keep escalating/pursuing until you get a hard no?
Author	oktomato2
Upvotes	12
Comments	13
Date	June 20, 2018 2:05 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8sikdu/is_it_better_to_keep_escalatingpursuing_until_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-better-to-keep-escalatingpursuing-until-you.1448521 https://theredarchive.com/post/1448521

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