Is online dating worth it?

DaveYarnell · 2014-01-16T17:05:07+00:00

OkCupid is not like the real world. That's the first thing you'll have to understand. OkCupid plays by its own rules independent from normal life.

First of all, time moves differently there. It isn't surprising to get a response 20 days or 2 months after your last message, then to chat back and forth within minutes, then go another week without a response.

Second, the main thing that matters is your pics. Profile doesn't really matter much, even for men. Your pics need to be from a high def camera, and flattering.

Third, OkCupid is a place where anyone can sign up -- including every creep, tool, and loser on this planet. And trust me, they do. Women who are somewhat attractive get hundreds of messages a day. Every day! They can't even open all of them, much less read them and assess which are the best and prioritize yours to respond to.

So, if you aren't too picky about it then yeah its a very easy way to meet people for a date and often for sex. I have had sex with I think 4 girls whom I met from there. You can meet the ones who are more sexual by just answering the questions sexually.

My conclusion, eventually, was that I just stopped using it. The women enter a mood on there where unless they just signed up they are jaded. They get so many messages, and so many of those are from creeps and losers, that it becomes that you are either a creep or a loser simply because you are on OkCupid after awhile.

Plus, a lot of girls look way worse in person. Jesus, I've had some nightmares about some fat ass ugly chicks who looked good on their profiles. I've had sex with 4, but went out with like 20, and some of those were absolutely the most horrendous experiences where You're stuck there and just want an earthquake or some natural disaster to create a distraction so you can bolt for the door.

jaq_the_ripper · 2014-01-16T16:58:58+00:00

I'm using it as a long-term supplement. Meeting the right woman is just a numbers game and these sites put the odds a little bit more in my favor (even though it might not feel like it). Just keep on keepin on and don't invest too much into it. It can't hurt if you do it this way.

2014-01-16T19:26:10+00:00

women polled on OKCupid were asked "overall how do you rate the attractiveness of men who use the site". 80% said "less than satisfactory". Your chances are much higher if you get out of the house and cold approach.

Edit: your chasing a bunch of girls with stupid expectations.

ThedudeORL · 2014-01-16T16:32:24+00:00

I fucked a lot of broads off OKC. Honestly you may or maybe not meet a cool chick. But holy hell if you looking for a easy fuck by all means not a bad method.

exophrine · 2014-01-16T16:17:47+00:00

Yeah r/okcupid has some good guidelines for making an effective profile and uploading good pics...but you should not at all depend on it as an on-demand meet market.

Orckilla · 2014-01-16T16:31:32+00:00

Very possible. I have had a few f-closes with hb6-8, one was the best lay I have ever had.

Problem is that its a different game trying go get them to bite over the computer. If you aren't in a big city, your chances become incredibly slim.

primeai · 2014-01-16T18:22:22+00:00

The meat market factor of okcupid is very dependent upon the city. You will find some cities where it might as well be adult friend finder, other cities treat it like e-harmony.

joshsway · 2014-01-16T18:47:56+00:00

YES. In caps.

seren1t7 · 2014-01-17T01:36:50+00:00

Good luck man! As someone who used to work at eHarmony, I can tell you it does for many people - but nothing comes with a 100% success rate. I personally used both eHarmony (AFTER working there of course) and OKC and ended up meeting really great people on both. It does take some time though.

It's an interesting adverse selection problem that's really tough to solve -- the market is such that women receive tons of messages from men, and therefore some will get crowded out (even the good ones that match up well have to wait against the pile of shit and creepier messages that women receive.) But also women, for better or worse, send our messages at a lower rate than men. You can't discriminate and offer incentives for one gender a discount or rebate to send messages (i.e. illegal) so you need to find other methods.

In the end, my advice is to wait it out, update your profile, and keep sending those messages.

kingcal · 2014-01-17T03:51:11+00:00

I have had great success there. Yeah, you'll get ignored a lot, but that's just part of online dating. Fill out your profile, take the time to read theirs, and then send a relevant message. If you say something only a step more intelligent than "hey bby u want sum fuk?" she'll check out your profile, and if she seems something she likes, she'll respond.

It's not rocket science.

called_it_dude · 2014-01-17T06:34:42+00:00

Went from using dating sites to just going out and doing something with my life. Met way more women in reality than I ever did on the net.

I'm not a busy guy, but I'm not going to wait hours for a response along the lines of 'lol IDK!' Talking to women in real life- while harder- yields actual results unlike online dating where you are lucky to get even a look your way.

JohnCooperWrites · 2014-01-17T12:52:15+00:00

I hate online dating. Too much competition. You have to get to know each other well before setting up a date. It's terrible. In real life, you meet a woman and if she likes you, you can see her within days.

But that doesn't mean online dating is stupid. I have a friend who's terrible at approaching women in real life and he's very good at online dating. He has gotten several girlfriends all from the internet.

My only successes has been from approaching women in real life. I suck at online dating.

five_magics · 2014-01-23T02:12:17+00:00

Don't overthink it. No need to think for half an hour before sending a message. Just be yourself and message away. Even if you are just saying "Hi".

Also it's pretty much about the numbers. Don't just send messages to one or two girls expecting them to reply. They probably won't. Just message more and more girls until you get replies. If you do this you'll eventually get replies.

Allanhorian · 2014-03-05T07:30:32+00:00

in my opinion, most of the women are very high expectation. which certainly are away from reality.

GoGreenGiant · 2014-01-16T15:50:11+00:00

That's pretty standard really. Checkout /r/okcupid to learn the ropes.

It's a numbers game, heavily in their favor.

glitch0 · 2014-01-16T22:17:32+00:00

Make 100% sure you're not in any way affected by the rejections you're going to be getting on that site. Treat it as just a really boring and low-effort way of dropping hooks when you have nothing better to do. In the real world, if you were to get continuously rejected on every approach, you know almost certainly you're doing something wrong, even despite the 60/40 principle. With online dating, assuming your profile isn't revolting and you're not saying "hi" in your message, you can't take any of that as a source of feedback, it's just a broken system.

It's really easy to assume that because you're not getting any responses then there's something wrong with you and you slowly turn into one of those "Not responding? What are you a nigger lover? Fuck you then, hope you get herpes" types. Just be careful and keep your distance.

In real life most of the girls that won't answer your messages would count their blessing if you were to approach them. The sick environment of online dating brings out the worst from everybody.

It's decent as a supplement, and I've gotten plenty of dates from it, but the vast majority of your successes should be coming from RL, or it's an indication you're not being aggressive enough in RL and hiding behind the comfort of online.

querookie · 2014-02-14T08:09:45+00:00

Hi there mjkkk! Actually we've had the same problems with the same site. I can't merely have replies with mine. I don't know if it's the site or what but, even my friends are talking about it too. So, I thought it's not going to be harmful or a waste of time if I visit another site. Friendly advice... make sure to know about the site you're currently using and ask some feedback. I would suggest you to visit this site http://getlove4u.net/getlove4u-2/. It totally worked for me! and I know it will on you too. They have sexy, beautiful, mature, respected/respectful and intelligent women that won't ignore you. I have been using this for 7 mos. until I've found the love of my life at the exact site. I'm now happily married with three kids. I don't know if it's luck or what but, there's no harm in trying. The site is legit so, it's no-fake guarantee. Go visit and try your luck now! Hope this helps.

Alexfortomorrow · 2014-01-16T20:55:19+00:00

Nope.

A single real life date/game is worth more than 100k online dating bullshit.

You might use it just for fun, but make it your default method of getting girls and you're fucked.

2014-01-16T18:11:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Is online dating worth it?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	30
Date	January 16, 2014 3:46 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1vd8h7/is_online_dating_worth_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-online-dating-worth-it.1364549 https://theredarchive.com/post/1364549

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