I've recently started reading Magic Bullets. At one point they briefly say, "Don’t let other men touch you without responding." However, they don't really explain this. What is the proper way to respond?

Tenmagnet · 2012-04-06T14:21:21+00:00

I helped write Magic Bullets and I'm a senior instructor for Love Systems, so I think I'm qualified to answer your question.

Anyway, here's the deal. Touch is one of the ways that human beings establish social dominance, but also social connection. So when two people touch (like a handshake) it's friendly (and equal), but when one person touches another, and the other doesn't touch back, it establishes a dominance vibe.

Here's a photo that illustrates what I'm talking about. See how Putin looks "beta" in this photo.

Guys will often come up to you and try and pull a move like this on you, throwing their arms around you. So what do you do? Just do it back. Not aggressively, or in a pushy way, but if a guy throws his arm over you, throw your arm over his.

Now sometimes a guy throws his arm around your shoulder, and you do it back to him, and then he does some other back-slappy kino thing, and you do it back, and then he keeps trying, and if you keep doing the move back it will turn into a three stooges routine. If that happens, just roll your eyes at him (or the girls) and let him do his thing. He'll look dumb.

Does that answer your question?

themoor · 2012-04-06T14:22:21+00:00

I ran into this and responded immediately... though I definitely was not NON-reactive.

How about some critique fellas? Here's my (short) story.

I'm at a crowded bar seeing some live music with a buddy. Some dreadlocked hippie dude is making the fool all over the dance floor (which I am about 5-10 feet behind, just hanging out, not gaming anyone). Anyway, he comes bopping through the crowd and when he gets to me, he grabs both ends of my scarf (it was winter) and does this sort of pulley / back-and-forth with it while swerving into my body space.

I immediately swung my right arm through my scarf and tossed his hands quickly aside. Took my right hand and shoved him in his shoulder and pushed him about 5-10 feet away with a motion of "get the fuck off of me", though without actually saying it. I did it sort of quick, not thinking about it, ninja like (whatever).

I'm not a fighter and might have even gotten my ass kicked. But I'll be goddamned if I'm going to stand there like a chode and let some asshole fake-dance with my scarf while I stand there like a frozen statue, even if he is trying to be fun and playful with several people there.

Because fuck that guy.

Later, he tried to sort of confront me with, "dude, what the fuck?" I had to explain to this ass that a man does not do that to another man and any and every man has every right to demand other dudes not invade his space and mess with him like that. He's like, "A man????" trying to cut me off. I'm no macho ass, but dammit, there's somethings you gotta do if you are to maintain yourself respect. I can't imagine what I pussy I would have felt like (and looked like) if I let that pass without doing anything.

Thoughts?

2012-04-06T18:42:44+00:00

I think it should be pointed out this primarily relates to strangers because when my friends do it to me, it acts as a good social proof to women.

meistaiwan · 2012-04-06T14:47:32+00:00

That's very interesting, dogs will do this as well to establish dominance or correct behaviors.

damndirtyape · 2012-04-06T13:04:31+00:00

could you give us a link to it?

depends if youre a man or a woman, i suppose.

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