I’ve seen two pillars of advice that seem to be at ends with eachother, at least for me.

One says treat every girl like they’re a female friend you haven’t seen in a while, talk to her normally, don’t be overtly flirtatious, don’t go in with the assumption that you’re necessarily going to get her number or hit it off, just see what she’s like and if you like her vibe then consider asking for her number to hang out.

On the contrary, there’s a school of thinking that says you have to create a strong man to woman connection from the get go, you should disqualify her, touch her a bit and spike her emotions to make her want and remember you. Go in with the assumption that she wants you.

Simply put they’re pretty much mutually exclusive for me. I’ve tried the second approach and it just feels unnatural. When I’m being myself I’m a little bit charming but I’m definitely not doing things from the above paragraph. But maybe if I persevere they will become more natural for me?

What advice would you give to someone in my situation?