I was out yesterday on campus meeting a bunch of friends, and i had planned to stop in and say hi to my TA from 2 semesters ago (by the end of the class she TA'd for, we had become platonic friends). Two of the afore-mentioned friends are, for lack of a PC term and i use it as affectionately as possible, sluts *(edit:promiscuous, never meant to use this negatively.) (one male and one female). Needless to say, their experience and social perception is light years beyond mine. So I go up to her office, there's a bunch of undergrads outside there at the tables and she's helping them. I think she sees me, so I just walk into her lab to wait for her. friends join me, one of them had a fling with one of the other grad students in the lab. We're standing around, chatting, she walks in, I give her a hug, she has to finish helping one more question, goes back. 2 minutes later, she asks if i want to go talk on the balcony (she smokes). my friends follow, and we're all out there, two of us are isolated, we're shooting the shit, maybe 10 minutes, we go back in, friends walk away, I stand there talking about god knows what (clubs in LA vs clubs in chicago, last call in different cities) and i tell her that we should get drinks. She seems pretty enthused, give her a hug, she tells me to post pics on facebook of my upcoming international trip.

My (*edit) PROMISCUOUS friends tell me based on how she was talking to me and her body language from watching us from a distance, she's totally into me. THEN, we get lunch, are walking back to campus, and she's walking perpendicular to us with a friend. one of my friends (also one of her students) yells a greeting, she turns, waves, and kind of slows down. some dialogue was exchanged between me an her, i can't remember, but then she turns fully towards me, points at me, tilts her head down a bit, and yells for me to call her for drinks after I get back from my trip. And my friends said that she was eyefucking me too, but this i doubt, but then again, i've never been eyefucked before, so i don't really know how to recognize it.

I'm 100% inexperienced, never been kissed, never anything, a few dates, but never pursued anything. My friends know this, and after this run-in with my TA, my female (*edit) PROMISCUOUS friend (also platonic, know her from physics) basically offers to teach me how to kiss. as in, a practical, interactive demonstration. I vehemently turn it down, because by this point I've become a bit self conscious and a bit suspicious that they are trying to make fun of me. she keeps offering to teach me for the rest of the day, and even just now today when I called to wish her a happy birthday.

Interesting fucking day.

SO THE REALIZATION:

I've realized that I've been conditioned from my ethnic parents and my religious background to be completely unoffensive to strangers. This coupled with my natually-sarcastic and shocking style of humor means that I instinctively avoid humor when I meet new people. I habitually avoid expressing IOIs for fear of offending a woman. My conversational style is a very blunt, no bullshit/cut-to-the-chase, but I have to reserve this for the people I know. Consequently, in group situations i prefer to isolate and adapt my humor and conversational level to one person. I have very rarely if ever been seen as an alpha in a group situation. My friends have told me that when I am around new people, I come across as the strong, silent type (strong probably due to the slowly developing physique).

This same group of people has also been telling me that in the past few months, i've been getting a lot more IOIs, i immediately discounted this, i think i've got a tendency to discount and disregard any success I see unless its rubbed in my face. But its true, i know more than a couple girls who are interested in me without a doubt, something i've never been able to say before.

Right now, I think i need to force myself not to worry about offending people and women by expressing interest and being myself.

tl;dr: My ex-TA is probably interested in me, friend wants to teach me (the fun way) how to kiss, and I need to stop worrying about offending women and just be myself.