Kissing on the first date...

Biscuitsbrxh · 2024-11-04T02:05:22+00:00

If I really like them and there’s chemistry, I’m always going to go for a kiss or a make out. If I’m not feeling it I’m not gonna force it

Idgaf662 · 2024-11-04T01:49:48+00:00

Yes being a gentleman always pays off. I’ve had those first meet ups end in passionate kissing from just saying a simple “well i had a good time i we can do this again sometime” a simple hug transforms into her kissing the shit outta me lol

cassidy-sinatra · 2024-11-04T07:21:14+00:00

I’ve had this bunch of times my advice if you think she really has dating potential don’t kiss on lips just hug but if the vibe is there and you kiss go for the close

Quartrez · 2024-11-04T06:32:14+00:00

I'm never into a girl so fast that I'd feel like kissing on the first date.

FiftyNereids · 2024-11-04T11:24:18+00:00

The key is really feeling the vibe and not forcing something that isn’t there.

The girls who you kissed but didn’t go on a second date probably weren’t into it, because if they were you would have gotten a second date.

I used to think there was a rule to it and that kissing on the first date meant something and gave you brownie points, and if you didn’t your chances of a second date are lowered. The fact of the matter is, it isn’t true and these “rule of thumbs” don’t really work.

The trick is to be adaptable and to be able to read the room and chemistry. If there’s natural chemistry and you’re getting along pretty well, you will find going for the kiss not to be very difficult compared to a date where there is barely any compatibility at all.

If she’s into you the kiss is the icing on the cake but if she’s not, trying to force a kiss will not save a bad date, or make her suddenly think differently of you. In fact it may even make her more repulsed, feel the “ick” or think you’re creepy because it doesn’t feel right to her.

Meanwhile while you experience a temporary delusion of “winning” because you scored that kiss, you end up never seeing her again, so it ain’t a win at all. Easiest thing to do with best results is to learn to read the room, go on a good date and only escalate when there is a green light. Kissing would be a form of escalation, but escalation only works if she’s into you.

mkkpt · 2024-11-04T12:00:50+00:00

I agree with u/Biscuitsbrxh great succinct points. I'm just going to waffle on below if anyone's slightly interested.

seem to be noticing if you don't have a long first date planned or aren't trying to take her home same day, kissing on the first date seems to work against me if you can't take them somewhere private.

It's great you're kissing on dates and closing, but in my humble opinion, I think your question is not that important, it's tertiary. What happens during and after, it can depends on how the chemistry is built, where you both are at, what's going on in her life. I've had insane chemistry with someone, but they just weren't over their ex. Or I haven't been feeling much chemistry and they are super into you. Or they aren't that into you but still want sex. Younger girls seem to have a lot more turbulence in their lives, so I wouldn't think too much about it from "did I kiss her, did I get laid?"

What I think is more important are questions like, how was the chemistry? How do you think she experienced and felt during the date? Were things a bit awkward / uncomfortable / unsafe for her at any point? How was the venue? Did I make her laugh? Did I actively listen to her well? Did I tell some stories well? What did she react to positively / negatively? How did you feel about her? What mental map have you got of her life, emotions and experiences? Did you escalate when you were feeling attracted to her? How was I feeling during the date, was I in a positive/good state? How have I been feeling the couple of days prior to the date? How do you think she felt, as she left the date? I have some level of control over this, and I takes steps to improve it over time.

It's more about what's sustainable for you and focusing on "converting high percentage plays", doing what works for you, minimising mistakes.

first date seems to work against me if you can't take them somewhere private.

You might need to reconsider what private is, haha.

You should have at least have the idea of the logistics for a venue change to one or two places, that are close and somewhat private. It could be a stairwell, behind a building, her house, a hotel nearby, behind a tree, in the car, behind a car. Obviously you're doing this in situations where the chemistry is super high, you're not forcing her or being too aggressive (you listen and respect her no's, go hard on her yes's).

Usually they don't do a second date if I kiss on the first date and don't sleep with them that day. However, if I play distant on the first date with little to no physical touch they are pretty eager.

Having said all the above, if your goal is to try and get laid as much as you can (which I do not recommend, but I have done), I'd question if you're being too aggressive or non-congruent. What are you feeling? Are you feeling emotionally attracted to her? Do you feel like you're enjoying her so much, she's so pretty, you HAVE to kiss her? Or are you feeling horny and trying to push the situation and make her horny, isolate and have sex? Women will ask about the latter and will shit-test you. I really recommend you look at the date in it's full context though and try to improve on what you can.

letsbehavingu · 2024-11-04T12:06:35+00:00

Maybe the kiss kills some anticipation, maybe there’s a way to leave her wanting more. I told a girl recently after she left in a message I wanted to put her in a car and take her home, that seemed to leave her hungry to reconnect. I haven’t noticed the pattern you are talking about, maybe your dental hygiene or kissing style can be improved ?

Themrhalo3freak · 2024-11-04T04:51:09+00:00

You want a good middle ground, kiss them on the forehead instead on the first date, even if you think you can try for the normal way. Trust me

Title	Kissing on the first date...
Author	HedgehogOk3756
Upvotes	9
Comments	8
Date	November 4, 2024 1:12 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1gj2lwi/kissing_on_the_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/kissing-on-the-first-date.1534569 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534569

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