Losing the game

jeckylshyde · 2011-10-03T20:33:16+00:00

time management my friend, as a pharmacy student i feel your pain. Seems like theres never enough hours in the day. If the anxiety is getting in the way of productivity, theres no harm in seeing a doctor for prescription help (also been there). Set aside a night to go out, friday/saturday is probably best and gives you time to let loose without getting too far behind in work/school.

open in the halls, before class, after class, in line at supermarkets. It works on game, and no strings attached. keep trying and good luck.

WolfInTheField · 2011-10-03T23:26:20+00:00

Look- you need to get your priorities straight. I hate to say this, but consider the option of putting seduction on the back-burner, just applying it to friday/saturday nights and maybe some random moments outside, and letting it rest apart from that. I guess your main problem in this situation isn't with Seduction, it's with school. The stress has your mindset going destructive and negative, and that's your actual problem, not the lack of approaches. Do a bit of meditating, reframe your experiences, and find ways to deal with the stress. Jeckylshyde was right, time management is a big part of this.

Zuggy · 2011-10-03T21:40:58+00:00

This is going to sound a bit assholish, but try to get your beta friends to come out with you. By having my beta friends there I tend to try and show off. They see how I game and that it's possible to approach and get laid. When they feel up to trying themselves I try to play wingman for them. I'm a little weak on how to be a wingman, but that's a different issue altogether.

Essentially it's win-win. You work on your game, they try to up their game because they see that you have fun doing it.

I'm not in grad school, but I am an undergrad taking 18 credits so time management is important I find if I'm exhausted a small nap before going out is the thing. When I say small I'm talking just a short 30-45 minute nap.

2011-10-03T21:42:43+00:00

I bet you probably spend a lot of time in the library. That's a good place to open while studying. But like everyone else is saying, open in the halls, supermarkets, coffee shops. Every bit helps.

2011-10-03T23:00:13+00:00

"I don't have many friends here yet and the ones I do have are ultra beta and don't go out or anything."

If they won't come out w/ you or are no fun to go out with, go out alone. I've had my best luck doing that, because you basically have to approach girls or you have no one to talk to. :) I honestly should do it more often, but I enjoy hanging with my buddies so I don't often get to.

So give it a shot and have fun! And the sooner the better, man.

toast23 · 2011-10-04T00:52:49+00:00

iltg

arkitip · 2011-10-04T05:29:46+00:00

You are just at low. I read some where around here that social interactions take a course for people like us. Being that we are not mPUA's we will find our selves at highs and lows. One month you are getting every girl you want, and the next you have nothing, not even your confidence. I have come to accept this as fact, but I also accept that it is up to me to break out of the slump and move on. Naturally with school in the way it is tougher to bring women into your life so you will feel like you are at your low. It is hard to study for school and study game all at once. I chose school, but keep the game in the back of my mind. One day the "social lows" I experience will be greater than any social high I have ever experienced in my life. I just have more important things to deal with right now.

iznou · 2011-10-04T16:54:00+00:00

Hey man, you're making a prison of your own mind. Break out!

epsil119 · 2011-10-04T20:38:38+00:00

Hey man I was exactly in the same position as you a couple years back when I started graduate school for a PhD. My program was (and still is) filled with dudes. Sure there is a lot of stress involved in your first year because graduate school is much much different than undergrad, but you have to learn to manage time very well to have a balanced life. For example, I would work my ass off during the weekdays and daytime during the weekends and still managed to go out on average three nights a week (Thurs, Fri, and Sat). Also in most programs, grades in graduate school don't matter as long as you pass (which most people do if you put some kind of effort).

If your friends are too "beta" to go out, go out by yourself. I went out alone a few times to the bars at the beginning of the year and after a couple of times, you'll end up meeting people who are just like you (aka people who are social).

sillymallard · 2011-10-05T15:43:45+00:00

Hey 57579, I am in a PhD program, and I know how you feel. School is toxic for my game and anxiety levels...you know, the whole talking to professors thing and them telling you 100 reasons of why it won't work and you feeling like shit for not thinking of those things in the first place. Or what about getting 20/100 on exams, consistently? How about feeling guilty for going out on the weekends instead of studying/researching? Yep. I feel you. It's not just the program, I realized, but the people in it as well, my friends, who are bringing me down. I am not quitting school, but I am actively dealing with it in order to not let it affect other parts of my life.

I have decided that my #1 priority is getting the woman I want, not school, money, family, etc. This is my purpose. I let it bother me the past several days (I haven't even wanted to visit seddit during this time). I wanted to post two FR's last weekend, but only posted one. This is bad, because I know I'm going to be rusty the next time I go out, but it's not the end.

My plan is to work harder when it's time to work. If I want to be unstressed and relaxed enough to sarge on Friday, I MUST get some work done. I also sarge solo and only for a couple hours, sober in the night so I don't ruin the next morning or practice game while doing errands during the day. It won't get in the way of anything if you shape it to your lifestyle.

Don't wait for next semester. Get ahead in your work now, even if it takes a full week to get to that point, and make it a point to go out by yourself and build a life outside of school. My friends in grad school are poor, married, beta, anti-social, etc. I've made it a priority to get more money through part-time work to fund my social life. You need balance. Don't hang out with your grad school buddies all the time. Make friends elsewhere. It could even be with grad students who are in a completely different subject than you.

Realize that it takes at least 20-30 minutes of distraction/meditation/pump-up/etc. to get your mind off of anything that it was previously working on. Sometimes it can even take an hour or two, if your mind is really molested by other things. Take some time to get in the "zone", BOTH when it comes to school and when it comes to game. While you can't flip your mind on and off like a light switch, it IS possible to change your mood if you take your brain off of autopilot. Nip any distractions in the bud, and get small annoying tasks finished first. If you're like me and many men, we are bad at multi-tasking, but great at keeping focus on one thing. Kill the distractions. If you can't get something done right away, make a plan and timeline for how you will get it done, and that should kill the distraction of annoying things you need to get done.

Excercise in the morning, everyday. You will think more clearly and be able to do your work more efficiently, you will have more time during the day, you will look better, and FEEL better about yourself. It might seem like a waste of time, but it's not. Block out at least 2 hours in your daily schedule for excercise.

If you teach classes, use this time to practice your bravado with your students. Use this time to practice being funny, being a leader, not losing your cool, etc. This is a GREAT ego boost, since you are artificially placed in a position of higher value than your audience.

Professors are smart, not scary. They are usually very critical and give objective advice about things as well as their subjective opinion of whether they like it or not. A lot of them have ego issues and are using academia to make up for their lack of self-esteem. It's true. However, that means they are beta, and most betas are friendly, not hostile. Funny though, I've found the alpha professors (the ones with hot wives) as the easier ones to talk to than the betas.

I'm sorry for the long reply, but I needed to write all of this out for myself as well, to remind me that life is great, and that I shall succeed in my goals through slow, daily, incremental progress.

closetbiaccount · 2011-10-13T16:28:12+00:00

if you think being in a grad program is getting your ass kicked all day...

RedErin · 2011-10-03T21:29:39+00:00

Talk to everyone.

Title	Losing the game
Author	57579
Upvotes	7
Comments	17
Date	October 3, 2011 8:27 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kzpyw/losing_the_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/losing-the-game.1323325 https://theredarchive.com/post/1323325

Comments